Update

There isn't much to report except for the fact that Tobias will be seeing the specialist on 6/29/06. I will update you as I find out more information.

Prayer Request

Hey all. My son Tobias may have to have another surgery…..here is what I learned today, (If he does have this surgery, this will be his 6th surgery and the poor guy is only 3 years old). This is what happened today at the doctors:


Basically Tobias is missing his right testicle. The Dr felt around for awhile in his scrotum, and up higher, right *under* his penis, to no avail. She felt around in his "hip" area (where a female's ovaries are) to no avail.

Dr G told Jessica that normally she can feel the testicle by the hip area, and she couldn't. So she is going to refer us to the specialist (urologist, I imagine), and if he felt it there, then he could possibly get it down without having to do surgery.

However she said that because she couldn't find it there, it *probably* is in the abdomen, which requires surgery, and cannot be put off, because if the testicle is in the abdomen it can cause cancer. Did you hear that? Cancer…..it can cause Tobias to have cancer.

So that's that. We should hear from the Dr's office within a week w/the approval & referral to the specialist. Please pray.


Bill

Journal 5/24/06

Very few Christians feel their disappointment with life deeply enough to fix their hope on what is yet to come. Even fewer face their sin so thoroughly that forgiveness becomes their most valued blessing. Most Christians vaguely sense that they long for so much more than what they experience on a daily basis, and they suppress a terror that no one could know them fully and still want to be their friend.

And the truth is that the deepest longing of our soul will never be satisfied on this side of heaven. Why are we so afraid of sadness? We should not fear being sad. When we face the sin that is rooted deep within our hearts; when we look at the hidden sin in our hearts it makes us see who we really are and sometimes we are undelightful. We should not fear brokenness. We should allow the pain of disappointed longings and the guilt of terrible sin to drive us to consider the gospel of God’s grace in a new and deeper way. Only then will the Lord enter into our broken hearts deeply and change us from the inside out, instilling in us a growing awareness of His relentless, unfailing love and sustaining hope for a new day.

Larry Crabb

One day I want to see this!

One day I want to be able to see the Northern lights. Aren't these pictures wonderful? I wish I took them, but I did not. I borrowed them from the web....

Journal 5/22/06

for whatever reason I have been in a place that lacks inspiration. Am I backslidden? I would have to say yes. Backsliding doesn't always mean that we walk away from the Lord wholeheartedly. Backsliding happens when we stand off a little and distance ourselves from the one who loves us. And I have stood at a distance. I have not been in communion with the One who loves me as much as I should if at all and it really does hinder my life. It hurts me as my heart (which is desperately wicked) begins to rule my thoughts and I begin to obey my heart. This leads me to live for myself and this causes me to treat myself like a king. And whenever that happens...I am miserable and so is everyone I know. Because I was not created to be a king. I was created to serve.

So once again, I have asked the Lord to have mercy on me and I have repented in my heart of hearts. I can only pray that this is something that I won’t go back and forth on. Every time God’s word doesn’t work for me, it is because I didn’t put my faith in it. I may know God’s word, but I don’t believe it & I haven’t acted upon it! Because it is like this, “Let God be true & every man a liar (Romans 3:4)!” Let my heart be a liar, because it is! Because God is true. When my feelings are telling me that it doesn’t work, I can know this, they are lying to me. My feelings lie to me.

Man lies, you lie, my feelings lie, but God is true! God’s word is faithful, & it has effect. It will affect my life in a really big way, if I will allow it to. It will totally enhance & change me, but I need to draw near to God, & God will then, draw near to me.


Father,
You know my heart that I am desperately wicked. Please forgive me for being such a selfish prideful man. Please change me from the inside out and use me for your glory. I need you Lord and I am an utter mess without you. Please look over my sins Lord and have pity on a man like me. I need your grace and I need you. Please pour out your Spirit upon me and cause me to indulge in your presence like never before. Please satisfy the longings of my heart as they lie to me. Please take the blinders off my eyes so I can see when my heart is deceiving me. And when it is, please replace those longings with something that is pure, noble, and in line with what you have me here for. Help me to be a good and faithful servant; for I have not been good nor faithful. Please wipe my slate clean and cleanse me from the inside out.

In Jesus name I pray...Amen