Friday, December 19, 2008

journal 12-19-08

As the year draws to a close, I cant help but feel the pain of the unexpected that has happened. Could things have been worse this year? Probably, but as the old Oregon saying goes, "it is what it is!"

I guess its time to just deal with the hand that has been dealt. Oh well.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Journal 12/4/08

Its time for another break on life. I am so burned out. See ya!!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Journal 12-3/08

I am numb.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


My oldest son and I have been talking alot lately. Its been so refreshing and nice.

Journal 11/26/08

Not much going on these days. Just have to get the kids ready tonight to head over to the X-laws for thanksgiving. I have alot of driving to do this weekend, and that is not something that I am looking forward to. My car is acting up. I need to take it in the shop, but when?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


This is just a poem I wrote, dont read too much into, its just a poem. I am not telling my friends to not call me, lol. I just wrote a poem only. Bill

I am tired. I am weak, I am overwhelmed and want to sleep.
I feel dead, I want to cry, I wish I could be alone and die
All this pain, all this hurt, fills my life, I feel like dirt
But I don’t care, I am depressed, I will live on, in my distress

People lie, they say they care, but their actions only cause despair.
And though I try to do what’s right, I always fail them in their sight.
I just cant, live for them, its to draining, as they condemn
So I will simply take a break, don’t bother me, for its too late.

Leave me alone, I done with all. Don’t bother me, and please don’t call.
I will live without you all, you have hurt me, there’s now a wall.
Its up high and built of stone, its purpose is for you, to leave me alone.
I am tired, I am weak, I am overwhelmed and want to sleep.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Journal 10/30/08

I am tired of people putting words in my mouth. You know who you are, please stop.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Journal 10/28/08

Today is a good day although I am tired and sleepy. I am getting ready for my band to go into the studio the 1st week of December and I am really looking forward to it. We have worked so hard to get to this place and I hope our songs are solid and record worthy. Time will tell. I cant wait to start playing shows.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Journal 10-23-08

It has been a long time since I have written in my journal so frequently and consistently. You would think I would be exhausted by now, but so far so good. The single dad thing has not been to rough yet. I am not so foolish to believe that it wont get hard, but so far so good.

My kids are GREAT kids. They have such tender spirits and I am so blessed by them. Although, we went out to eat last night and I was so jealous. The kids devoured their food, they ate fast and they ate a lot. Not sure why they wont do that at home, lol. Actually I am pretty sure I know why……I hate cooking and they hate eating my cooking… Billy order macaroni and cheese, yet he wont eat mine. Come on now, I know my Mac and Cheese doesn’t taste that bad. Its from a box! My goodness, I actually do follow the directions.

Maybe I should open the box next time instead of cooking the noodles in the box? What do you think?

Things will balance out soon, I am sure. At some point in time, I will discover a food that they will eat…..until then……poor kids…hahaha.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Journal 10/22/08

You know what? I am pretty anxious right now. I don’t know why, I just am. As I sit here thinking upon life, and what matters, my heart goes all over the place. Brokenness? Anger? Fear? Love? Passion? Sympathy? These are the things that cross my mind. This world is harsh. This world wants to devour humanity and the enemy of our souls is on the prowl waiting to crush all in his path. Yet there can still be beauty from ashes. You can still fall in love. You can love and be loved. You can still be there for those who have been hurt by the harshness of this world. Not all things that look bad are hopeless, thee is hope, its just not in this world.

So I am looking at things from this perspective as I write these words and if anyone I love is sick, or hurting, or reaping what they have sown, will I walk away from them? What if they have cancer? Or worse yet, what if they have HIV? Would I abandon the ones I love because of that? The answer is no. I am not going to leave you in your pain. I cant say I can be there in total perfection, but I will be there; because there will come a day when I will need you as well, that’s just a reality. We need each other to make it in this world. And if we cant be there for the ones we love, then shame on us. Shame on you and shame on me.

This dark world would be a better place if we would love as Christ loves. We have so much to offer the world. And this world has a lot to offer as well. Too bad the world only offers pain, suffering, disease, sickness, fear, anxiety, and hopelessness. But we, as believers in the living God, have something to offer the world. We can offer it love, stability, peace of mind, compassion, grace, tenderness, mercy, love and more love. We have an unlimited supply of Agape love that we can tap into and pour out upon those who have been devoured by the merciless one. We can be there for those in need. Will we rise to such an occasion? Only you can answer that for yourself. Only I can answer that for me.

I will not abandon those I love. Just know that. If you need my shoulder to cry on, then use it, I am here for you, no matter what this world may have done to you, I will be here for you. And if for whatever reason I cant be here for you because of my humanity and my failure as a human being, then I know the Lord Jesus can be here for you.

I have no idea why I am writing this, its just where my heart and mind is at the moment. I just want those of you who are hurting and in need to know that I am here if you need me. If its doesn’t matter 1000 years from now, then it doesn’t matter. I desire to major on the major and minor on the minors. I just hope I can live this way. I desire it, now its time to do it.

Jesus, please help me to live in a way that brings You honor. I have failed so many times in the past, but today is a new day, please help me to be there for those who you have placed in my life. Please give me a heart of tender compassion for people. I need you empty me of myself Lord and to replace me with your Spirit. Please do this in my life….I am desperate for You God. In Jesus name I ask you to give me a heart of compassion….Amen.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Thoughts

I am glad that Jessica and I are still friends.

Journal 10/21/08

My heart is getting hard.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Journal 10/20/08

So yesterday, I helped Jessica move into her new apartment. Its actually a cute little place with a nice view. So today is the 1st official day that we live out our separate lives. Though we are already divorced, the stamp of permanence was placed on it yesterday. And its both liberating and hard. I am looking forward to organizing the house in a way that works for me. It is now time to de-clutter. I got the living room almost done yesterday and had started working on the kitchen and dining room when I just ran out of time and energy. So hopefully I can get some more of it done tonight after I feed the kids and get them in the bath then down for bed. I have a feeling it will take a lot longer than I want, but that’s ok. I am determined to get the house clutter free and looking good.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Journal 10-17-08

Moving On! What does that mean? I am telling those around me that I am moving on and I really am. Does that mean that I have forgotten the last 8 years that I shared with Jessica as her husband? No. It just means that I am not going to live in the past. That means that I will pursue new things apart from Jessica (wow, can you believe I would say such a thing?). No worries, she will do the same thing as well. You know there actually is life after a divorce. Its not the end of the world. Yes its hard at times, but its not the end.

Dont get me wrong, I still struggle with depression, I still have my good days and bad days. But I am moving forward. I am moving onto the next chapter in my life (and I am excited about it too…please be excited with me). I am not even saying that the last chapter was a bad one, but to be honest, that chapter has ended and I am in the next chapter now. Its exciting and scary at the same time. Its filled with laughter and filled fear.

Just because I am moving on does not mean that I don’t have emotions or feelings or am so calloused that I cant feel anymore. If anything, I have learned to feel all over again. I have felt more pain and humiliation, fear, regret, anger, hatred and stress than most people. But I have also begun to feel love, joy, happiness, contentment, passion, humility, grace, and the list goes on.

I have learned a valuable lesson. EVERYONE has an opinion on how long I should grieve, or if I am moving to fast or slow in my next chapter in my life. But you cant live this out for me. I have to figure this out and work through these things myself. I am ok, I really am and I am sorry if I offend you because I am moving forward at a pace that you disagree with. But I think its even more unhealthy to live in a fantasy world. So please quit giving me grieve because I am not sulking as you think I ought to sulk.

I have done enough crying and sobbing and weeping, I am done. I have (are you ready for this?) I have moved on……!

Sorry this sounds harsh, but I get overwhelmed when people cant leave this alone. Again, this is not directed at anyone in particular, I am just venting my emotions and working through this in a way that works for me. I love you all very much, and I am so grateful you are in my life but let me sort this out and if I move to fast or too slow, then so what. I am bound to make mistakes, I will learn from them. But I have to do this in a way that works for me. Please respect that.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Journal 10-16-08

So yeah, things have changed and I am finally ok with it. I have moved on in my life and I really look forward to the new direction life has taken me. Dont get me worng, transition is never easy and rarely fun, I know it will not be easy, but thats what I love about life. There are new challenges, new mistakes to be made, new goals and just newness in general. So though I will never replace those whom I love or have loved in my life, I am moving forward and moving on. Exciting times are before me and I look forward to the new direction and new challenges that life has to offer.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Journal 10-14-08

Time keeps ticking, cant seem to stop it.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Journal 10-10-08

Well, its over now. As of yesterday Jessica and I are no longer Jessica and I. Yes the truth is out there for the world to know and disect. We are divorced. Our marriage is over. What once was in no more and will never be again.

Life takes some very interesting twist and turns......

Am I happy? no.

Am I sad? no.

I am just numb, and tired and ready to move on to the next chapter in my life. I dont know what else to say.....

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Journal 9-16-08

I am in a place where confusion greets me with a warm smile more than anyone else. I am tired. I am at a loss. Why do good things turn out so badly at times? “Why” is a question that I ask often. Why is this world so deceptive? Why do we buy into the lies of the enemy without even thinking twice? I am so guilty of living in deception that it makes me angry. It makes me frustrated and now I feel numb. The fight is not in me anymore and I want to lay my head down and say goodnight. I am so tired of uncertainty and yet that is all this world offers. There are not promises of certainty on this side of eternity.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not hopeless. I do believe that the Lord Jesus can restore, heal, mend and do all the things that seem impossible. I am just in a place of sobriety as I see the dark forces of this world wage a war against humanity and against any and all things that God has called good. What sucks is that I tend to find myself in these wars (whether that means I am fighting on the wrong side or whether I am a victim to the schemes of the evil one) and all I can do at this moment in time is lay here wounded as I wait for my redeemer to come one day (soon I hope).

I want to fight yet I am just so wiped out. I have lost all sense of the meaning of living in that place of total dependence and intimacy with Jesus. And maybe this trial in my life is what I need to cause me to see the Lord who is Mighty and powerful do that wonderful work in the midst of chaos and destruction. So I am not hopeless yet at the same time its very difficult to see things get restored. So I struggle with faith, reality, and that daily question, “will God restore my family or will he work in the midst of this destruction?”

That is my dilemma. I don’t have the answers. God could do one or the other. He could restore or he could heal in the midst of tragedy. But I hate being in this place…..just so you know…..

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Journal 8/30/08

One thing that is constant is the fact that things always change. Apart from God Himself and eternity, everything changes. Nothing last forever in this world and it would be wise of us if we simply took a second and just enjoyed the blessings that we have been given before the time comes and those blessings are gone. Because here is a won't last. Friends come and go, people die, relationships end, people move away or commit to other things. Kids grow up and move out, and when all is said and done, what's left? If we do not value those moments, those tiny glimpses when we have those we love around us, then we have missed out on some of the most wonderful times we could ever have. So hear the words of wisdom from a broken man……cherish those who are in your life. Enjoy them, love them so that when the time comes and they are no longer in your life you can fall back and cherish those times that you both walked this earth hand in hand.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Journal 8/25/08

What can I say? Things are chaotic and I am overwhelmed in ways I never dreamed possible. The tides of despair from this monstrous storm have crashed upon my tear stained face and I can no longer stand. I am an utter mess. I am unable to comprehend the depths of this tragedy that plagues my soul. What a mess. What a disaster! What a horrific nightmare that grabs me at my throat and tries to strangle the life out of me. I can’t breathe. I need to catch my breath yet these toxic fumes of hell surround me and I have no place to retreat to. I am hopeless.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Journal 8-6-08

So its been awhile since i have been here. Life has taken its toll on me and I am no longer able to collect my thoughts in a way which allows me to pour out my heart on paper in the ways that i so desire. I am sure if I tried, then it would not be all that difficult to do so, but i have lost my desire to write. I am sure it will come back one day, its here today, it may say, who knows, but life is just too difficult at the moment to put any thought into anything at all. So I sit back and live in apathy to numb the torment and the raging wars that go on inside of me.

Its a season of dread, regret, uncertainty, confusion and torment. Yet here I am, treading in this nightmare, alone in the true sense of the word. I actually prefer being alone this way for when I am alone the demons can haunt me all they want and no one will notice, no one will care, no one will make fun of me and no one will abhor and detest me. So alone I will be, its liberating to me. I am free. There is a joy and in taking my burdens alone to Jesus. He hears me even when I cant speak. I love you Jesus. You know me inside and out and You have chosen me. You are devoted to me no matter what. I am so beyond blessed to have You in my life Lord.

So though I am alone, I really am not. I have never been in a worse and better place at the same time. Its interesting to me. I love you Jesus.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Journal 6/10/08

It's been so long since I have written anything. My heart has been all over the world and back over the last few months. So much has changed yet so much has stayed the same. I have no words at this time in my life.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Journal 4/15/08!

Death. We are told that it is the final frontier and in some ways that is true. Those of us alive have never experienced death personally and so we don’t know what it looks like in a personal way. We can only guess or choose to believe by faith what really happens on the other side. We can only guess if there is another side. Because in and of ourselves; we just do not know the answer to what happens when we die. It is an unexplored place that leaves more questions at times than answers.

Yet I am thankful that I know someone who personally experienced death and came back to life and he has personally told me what is on the other side. It makes all the difference in the world when a person who you trust; has been there and knows what is on the other side. He has shared with me what happens when a person dies and he did indeed die himself. And to come back from the dead and to actually share with me what happens is amazing to me. So is there something on the other side of death? Yes there is something on the other side, and I don’t just say that from faith alone but from a person that I trust who has been there and knows what its like.

So though it may be the final frontier for some; or most, for me it wont be because I know what is on the other side. That brings me comfort…

Journal 4/15/08

Death: the end of excuses, the beginning of eternity!

Religion: a mirage - Jesus: reality

You don’t have to be brain-dead to live for Jesus, but when you are, you’ll be glad you did.

When you’re in love with God, even tragedies become ministering angels, helping you to ever-increasing Christ-likeness. If your blossom is dying, it’s so that the fruit can grow.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Journal 4/8/08

So it has been a challenging couple of weeks as I try to determine the Lords will with music and balancing my dream with reality and then balancing making hard decisions without trying to hurt those that I love. The decision has been made, yet my heart breaks with those who are hurt by the outcome or the process in which all this came about. My heart is desperately wicked, and yet the Lords heart in me desires to see all those in my immediate circle to trust Him and to come to Him for healing. All I can do is mess things up at best. Yet the Lord in His incredible grace has the tools needed to restore and heal all of us who are hurting, who are bleeding and feel left for dead on the wayside.

I am so bummed that you are hurt. I am so saddened to see you sit on the sidelines and suffer knowing that I am part of the reason why your are feeling so insecure and confused. I am the reason why your world is turned upside down. I do wish that I would not have received your blessing before you were ready to give it, I don't say this in a malicious way, but because you bring me so much joy, and happiness and when I see you struggle, it really breaks my heart. I may not have alot of emotion on the outside, but I do on the inside and you mean so much to me. I want to see you work through this and get to the other side but I don’t want to see you struggle. Yet I cant have you reach the other side until you struggle through this; and that is such a torture to see.


Please bring clarity and healing and forgiveness. Please restore fellowship where it is hindered and broken. Please remove the enemy from this and remove his influence and let all of us see with total clarity You in all Your glory. You are what everything is about. You and your love for people who deserve nothing but judgment and condemnation. Yet you love the scum of the earth and you seek to save them before its too late. Please give us all Your heart, Your passion, and Your vision. In Jesus name and on His merits I ask these things….So be it!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Pins and needles

Pins and needles. That is what I feel like I am walking on today…. I hate feeling this way.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Today's thoughts!

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all. For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, Whether good or evil.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Journal 2/28/08

How do I love more and more? How do I walk properly towards those who are outside and are not believers? How do I become more passionate towards Jesus yet stay balanced at the same time? How do I cause others to become passionate for Jesus as well? I have no idea.

Oh God of peace, please sanctify me completely so that I am blameless when you return. Give me wisdom and insight into Your wonderful word. Please help me to understand Your word and help me to engage others so that they may see You in the Word. Oh Faithful Father, Your gospel is good. It is powerful and liberating. Your Holy Spirit brings so much joy and I praise You Holy Father.

How I wait for Your Son from heaven. I long to see the face of Jesus my God. How long Lord? How much longer before You return for Your people the Jews and the Gentiles? Help me to be a man who labors night and day for the things of Your kingdom. Help me to walk worthy of Your calling God. Help me to receive Your word that comes forth from Your mouth. Oh Jesus, make me to abound in grace and love. Oh help me not to engage my heart in ungodly passion but passion that is controlled by the Spirit. I long to see Your face Jesus. I want to hear You laugh and to see Your smile. I want to feel Your hug and to hear Your heart beat as I lay my head upon Your chest. I want to know You Jesus. I want to really know You in ways that I have yet to know You.

Oh help me to look for Your return in a practical way. Help me to keep my eyes looking up into the sky as I look for You to return for Your people, for Your bride. I long for Your salvation Jesus! I long to be glorified and without sin. I want to be with You. I want to be where You are. I want to be in Your midst and saturated by Your presence. Lord, how can I glorify Your name in my life? Please show me and personally teach me.

Lord, will You please lead my life? I want to be found where You are and led by Your Spirit. Please baptize me in the Holy Spirit and consume my life in Yours. I want so badly for You Jesus to by my inheritance. I need You so desperately in my life. I want to hear Your voice and to behold Your glory. Come Lord Jesus, come back to earth and come for Your people. Deliver us from the wickedness of this world.


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Journal 2/26/08

Lord God,

You have had your hand directly and indirectly involved in the lives of men and women throughout history. Your hand of protection has preserved the children of Israel to this day. Thank you. I desire to be a clean vessel dad, but I can’t clean myself. Please wash me and use me in the course of your historical plan. I desire to do as you have created me to do. I long to fulfill my destiny Jesus. What is my destiny?

You see all things and know that I am in desperate need of your grace. I hunger for you Jesus. I cannot settle for anything less that personal contact with you. I must have you lest I die Jesus. Please have favor upon me. Please bless the work of my hands and cleanse me from the inside out.

Do I love You Jesus? Do I love the Father? Do I love the Helper, the Spirit of Truth who testifies of You? I long to be intimate with my God. I want to know the depths and height, length and width of Your glory and of You. I desire that our heart beats be so entwined that they beat the same beat.

Oh declare to me Your wonders. Declare to me Your ways. Please return for me and fill me with your Holy Spirit. Please baptize me in Your Holy Spirit. Come upon me, be with me and in me. Take my life Jesus and make my life Yours. I need you so desperately in my life. Oh please share the Father with me plainly.

When will the hour come of Your 2nd Coming? You finished the work of the Father and I want to follow in Your foot steps in that I desire to finish the work that You have laid out before me. I want to have an eternal perspective in everything that I do Jesus. Please take this life of mine and make it Yours. Keep me in your love, I have no faith in me. All my faith is in You alone.

Send me into the world Lord and empower me to be a vessel of honor; an ambassador of the Kingdom to come in which You will reign. You are my righteous Father and I desire to declare Your name to the lost. Please help me to live in a way that heaven is always on my mind, where You are always on my mind.

Your prophetic word is so amazing. I am in awe at the details of what you have said in Your wonderful word. You truly do know the end from the beginning and I am thankful for that. Oh God, have mercy on me, cleanse me from my sin and lead me in the ways of everlasting.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Journal 2-25-08

So today was a milestone for me. I have the bible on mp3 now and I actually listened to the entire book of Genesis today. All 50 chapters. And I didnt stop there, I also listened to 1st and 2nd Corinthians. By doing so I was able to see the heart of God more and the tragedy of man. Death, suffering, deceit, all of that is a byproduct of the fall of man. And it broke my heart today. And o know that God loved me enough to send Jesus on my behalf so that He could have fellowship with me, just blows me away. God is in love with me, with us and I am in awe at that.

So anyways, I know it is a random thought, but sometimes my thoughts are all over the place.


Sunday, February 24, 2008

How it all started.

This is the story of events that led me to the day when I came face to face with God's everlasting love.

I was 17 years old, and my cousin asked me if I would like to go to camp for a week. I said sure, but how much is it? He told me that it was about $250.00. I told him, that I didn't have that kind of money. So he offered to pay for me. But as the time grew closer to going, I didn't want to go. I tried what any other 17-year-old person would do, I tried to convince my brother to go. My mom told me that I had to go, because my cousin had already paid my way. I don't remember much about the week at camp, but I do remember one night. I remember it very well.

It was Wednesday, August 20th, 1991. We had church that night just like every other night. But this time the service was about the end times. It started out with music. The worship team played a song called "Billy waited to long". It was about a guy named Billy who rejected God & died, he waited to long. Well, the fact that my name is Billy, lets just say that it got my attention.

The speaker then spoke about the end times. He would read from the bible & then read the fulfillment of the prophecy from newspapers, from Time magazine. As he was sharing, a bat flew into the building. The speaker stopped & said that this was Satan trying to distract us, then he led us in prayer. My cousin said that last year the power went out & they had to wait in the dark for a few minutes before the generators turned on. After his prayer, the speaker said, "If you are a believer, then I want you to leave the building quietly. If you would like to ask Jesus to be your Lord & Savior, then stay where you are. If you want to rededicate your life to Him, then you stay too." (That was totally the Lord, because I would have never gone forward).

Everyone left, except for the counselors & those who wanted to be saved, including myself. The counselor told me that we needed to pray. I said, cool. He asked me if I wated to go first, to which I told him that I did not want to pray out loud, I didn't know how to pray & I didn't want to make a fool of myself. He said that he would lead me in a prayer & I should follow him in it, I figured I could handle that. When we finished I went back to the cabin. Mind you, the whole week, someone was always in there. But this night it was empty.

I climbed on the top bunk bed and started asking God, Why would you want me? I cuss, I party, I sleep with my girlfriend & I smoke, why would you want me?

I had my cousin’s bible (he had given it to me); it was all marked up & had papers in it. I also asked the Lord, "Please don’t let anyone come in here & see me when I'm emotional." As I was getting back on my bed (had to use the bathroom), I asked God again, "Why would you want me?" Just then a paper fell out of the bible. It read, " I love you very, very, very, very, very much", that was it for me, I was crying & I told God, "I believe you. I give you my life".

And that’s how I met Jesus. Do you know what is cool? God answered my little prayer, and no one came into the cabin.

So now, when people ask me how did I find God? I tell them, I didn't. I tell them that God was never lost, I was.

He found me.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Journal 2/21/08

Sometimes it really is a battle to live out your convictions. I long to be a man who lives according to the Word of God. It is weird because I really desire to be a man of passion and in a sense I am. Yet at the same time I really struggle with being a slave to my passions and there is a real battle there for me. I love passion when it is not tainted by the sin nature, but those times when it is; I really struggle to make good decisions based upon my conviction as my passion in those moments are stronger and more compelling than my convictions.

How do I balance this? I want to be passionate but not at the cost of compromise. Oh Jesus, my eyes are lifted up to you in hope that you will be able to deliver me from this body of death. Please baptize me in the Holy Spirit and consume my every thought and action. I am calling out to you by faith and simply ask you to help me engage my heart in things that would bring you the most glory.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Journal 2/19/08

My memories haunt me. I wonder what my thoughts would be if I knew that I was going to die today. What would I regret? What would I change? What would I desire to do over again? I know that I will have so many tears of regret on that day; yet I find that in my experience it is so difficult to live out my life in a way that keeps an eternal perspective.

When the day finally does arrive and I leave this world; no one is going to do it with me. What I mean is that when I die, I will die alone and therefore I must be prepared to stand before the Lord alone. And that doesn’t scare me as much as it shames me. What I mean is that I am not afraid to stand before the Lord as I know that he loves me and that he has forgiven my sins. What I fear is the shame that I will feel and experience when all the things that I have done are exposed and laid out before the Lord. I am a wretched man in need of mercy, grace and forgiveness. Oh, soul, why is it that you take pleasure in wickedness?

I know where I have been and I know that when I finally get to see Jesus face to face, when I finally get to see the scars in his hands and feet, I will be so embarrassed and shamed from all the things that my wicked heart embraced. I really am a wretch and hate it when I do not choose to do what I know is right.

Jesus, please cleanse me from my past, present and future. Please help me to walk in your ways 100% of the time. Please clean me Jesus as I am unable to so myself.



Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Interesting Study - Chuck Missler

Q & A: Where did you find the meanings of the names in Genesis 5?
The background behind the genealogy in Genesis 5 is one of our most frequently asked questions.
Since the ten Hebrew names are proper names, they are not translated but only transliterated to approximate the way they were pronounced. The meaning of proper names can be a difficult pursuit since direct translations are not readily available. Many study aids, such as conventional lexicons, can prove superficial when dealing with proper names. Even a conventional Hebrew lexicon can prove disappointing. A study of the original roots, however, can yield some fascinating insights. (It should be recognized, however, that the views concerning the meaning and significance of the original roots are not free of controversy and are subject to variant readings. This is why we receive so many questions or comments on variations.)


The first name, Adam, comes from adomah, and means "man." As the first man, that seems straightforward enough.


Adam's son was named Seth, which means "appointed." When he was born Eve said, "For God hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew."


Seth's son was called Enosh, which means "mortal," "frail," or "miserable." It is from the root anash: to be incurable; used of a wound, grief, woe, sickness, or wickedness. (It was in the days of Enosh that men began to defile the name of the Living God.1 )


Enosh's son was named Kenan, from which can mean "sorrow," dirge," or "elegy." (The precise denotation is somewhat elusive; some study aids unfortunately presume an Aramaic root synonymous with "Cainan.") Balaam, looking down from the heights of Moab, employed a pun upon the name of the Kenites when he prophesied their destruction.2


Kenan's son was Mahalalel, from mahalal, which means "blessed" or "praise"; and El, the name for God. Thus, Mahalalel means "the Blessed God." Often Hebrew names included El, the name of God, as Dani-el, "God is my Judge," Nathani-el, "Gift of God," etc.


Mahalalel's son was named Jared, from the verb yaradh, meaning "shall come down." Some authorities suggest that this might have been an allusion to the "Sons of God" who "came down" to corrupt the daughters of men, resulting in the Nephilim ("Fallen Ones") of Genesis 6.3


Jared's son was named Enoch, which means "teaching," or "commencement." He was the first of four generations of preachers. In fact, the earliest recorded prophecy was by Enoch, which amazingly enough deals with the Second Coming of Christ.4


The Flood of Noah did not come as a surprise. It had been preached on for four generations. But something strange happened when Enoch was 65, from which time "he walked with God." Enoch was given a prophecy that as long as his son was alive, the judgment of the flood would be withheld; but as soon as he died, the flood would be sent forth.

Enoch named his son to reflect this prophecy. The name Methuselah comes from two roots: muth, a root that means "death"5 ; and from shalach, which means "to bring," or "to send forth." Thus, the name Methuselah signifies, "his death shall bring."6

And, indeed, in the year that Methuselah died, the flood came. Methuselah was 187 when he had Lamech, and lived 782 years more. Lamech had Noah when he was 182.7 The Flood came in Noah's 600th year.8 187 + 182 + 600 = 969, Methuselah's age when he died.9

It is interesting that Methuselah's life was, in effect, a symbol of God's mercy in forestalling the coming judgment of the flood. It is therefore fitting that his lifetime is the oldest in the Bible, symbolizing the extreme extensiveness of God's mercy.


Methuselah's son was named Lamech, a root still evident today in our own English word, "lament" or "lamentation." Lamech suggests "despairing." (This name is also linked to the Lamech in Cain's line who inadvertently killed his son Tubal-Cain in a hunting incident. 10 )


Lamech, of course, is the father of Noah, which is derived from nacham , "to bring relief" or "comfort," as Lamech himself explains. 11
The Composite List

Adam - Man
Seth - Appointed
Enosh - Mortal
Kenan - Sorrow
Mahalalel - The Blessed God
Jared - Shall come down
Enoch - Teaching
Methuselah - His death shall bring
Lamech - The despairing
Noah - Rest, or comfort

Here are the meaning of the names in plain English:

Man apponted mortal sorrow, The blessed God shall come down teaching his death shall bring the desparing comfort.

Here is a summary of God's plan of redemption, hidden here within a genealogy in Genesis! You will never convince me that a group of Jewish rabbis deliberately "contrived" to hide the "Christian Gospel" right here in a genealogy within their venerated Torah!

Evidences of Design

The implications of this discovery are far more deeply significant than may be evident at first glance. It demonstrates that in the earliest chapters of the Book of Genesis, God had already laid out His plan of redemption for the predicament of mankind. It is the beginning of a love story, ultimately written in blood on a wooden cross which was erected in Judea almost 2,000 years ago.

This is also one of many evidences that the Bible is an integrated message system, the product of supernatural engineering. This punctures the presumptions of many who view the Bible as a record of an evolving cultural tradition, noble though it may be. It claims to be authored by the One who alone knows the end from the beginning,12 despite the fact that it is composed of 66 separate books, penned by some 40 authors, spanning several thousand years.13

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Journal 1/23/08

Death – no one escapes it. One out of one will die and it is always a tragedy when it happens to someone you know or admire. Yet we fail to realize the seriousness of the frailty of life and the seriousness of the afterlife. If we have not given our lives to Jesus the reality is that we will be in a very harsh reality and wake up call when we die. Oh my heart is broken for those who die without knowing the only One who can save them from Hell. Oh the depths of regret one will have on that day when they take their last breath if they have not given themselves to the One who loves them with a passion.

I can’t even begin to imagine what the horror would be like if I were to close my eyes for the last time only to open them up in a place of torments. To go from living out the American dream to weeping and gnashing my teeth would be so tragic, yet that is the reality for many, many people.

When will we Christians wake up to this reality and start sharing the life giving good news? When will we lose our fear of rejection and start pouring out our lives in reaching the lost before its too late for them? I have the same fear as all of you, but life is to frail and one minute we are here thinking we will live forever and the next minute our time is up and we are in eternity.

I can hear and feel the heart of God weeping over those who reject him. I can hear the sobs of God over those who choose to ignore his pleading. His heart is broken over the death of the those who refuse to deal with the reality of what awaits in the afterlife.

Jesus has done everything that is possible to be with us. He gave everything, he gave his life away for us; just to be with us. Time is running out, we MUST get outside of the four walls of the church and start sharing this reality.

Every 1.5 seconds someone enters eternity, and that someone could be someone you know personally. What will you do with the time allotted to you? Will you love that person enough to warn them of what’s to come? Or will you cave into your fear and refuse to warn them? You were created in this time and age to reach your generation. What you do with this time is up to you, please use it wisely.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Romans 9:1-5 - A Heart for the Lost

I taught this to the high school kids this last Sunday

Romans 9:1-5
(A heart for the lost)

“1 I tell the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Spirit, 2 that I have great sorrow and continual grief in my heart. 3 For I could wish that I myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my countrymen according to the flesh, 4 who are Israelites, to whom pertain the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the service of God, and the promises; 5 of whom are the fathers and from whom, according to the flesh, Christ came, who is over all, the eternally blessed God. Amen.”

Let’s pick it up in verse two. “that I have great sorrow & continual grief in my heart…” The word “Great Sorrow” is used for people who mourn. All throughout the gospels it is used for people who mourn. It’s amazing to me that Paul had this heart that was inwardly mourning. He felt as though he had lost a loved one.

I don’t know if you have ever lost a loved one, but I have. And when Paul uses a word here that describes mourning & great sorrow, I say, Paul you are crazy. Because I understand mourning, I have been there. I understand the depths of the pain that even crying can't relieve.

I can remember many sleepless nights filled with the terror of grief for my son. I can remember not even being able to function properly. I had no one to talk to, my life was completely torn apart. I felt as though something inside of me had died.

I can remember the 1st day that I lost my oldest son. I was young & naive. My sons mother & I were living together with her parents & we were having a hard time with her mother. I had become a believer & her family really wanted nothing more to do with me. I thought that it was only her mother that was thinking that way, I had no clue that my sons mother thought that way also.

Well, we got into an argument with my ex-girlfriends mother & my ex asked me if we could go to Arizona for a while to get away. It was about 10:00PM & I asked her how did she expect us to get there because we had no money. She told me to call my grandmother & see if I could borrow $100 dollars. So I called & asked my grandmother for money & she said yes, she could tell something was wrong, because I wouldn’t tell her what I needed the money for. I just told her that it was an emergency.

Where we lived & where my grandmother lived had about a 60 mile gap between the two cities. My ex told me to drop her off at the house & she would pack up while I get the money. So I took her home & I did about ninety miles an hour to get to my grandma’s house. She loaned me the money, it was around 11:00PM when I had got there & I raced back to get my son & my ex. When I got back to the house around midnight, they were all gone.

They were gone. The locks had been changed in those two hours that I was gone & my son was gone. I called my grandmother collect at 12:30AM that night. She didn’t even know who I was. I was sobbing so hard that I could not even talk. It took all that I could to muster up the strength to get my name out to her in a way that she could comprehend. I was mourning. I had lost my one & only son. My grandmother talked me into driving back to her house & stay with her there. That was 13 years ago.

So when Paul says, “that he has great sorrow & continual grief in his heart”, that hits home with me. Because I understand mourning & I have been there. I understand the anguish within the heart. All you can do is fall to the ground & convulsively sob & groan & shake. That is all you can do.

And Paul says here, “I have great sorrow, there is mourning in my heart. Not only is there great sorrow in my heart, but there is also continual grief & unceasing torment afflicting my soul.” Now if I were to read this verse only as Paul is saying that he has continual sorrow & unceasing grief & torment. I would be tempted to come up to Paul & ask him:

“What happened to you? Was it your wife who left you because you were a Christian? Is that what is causing you all of this heart ache? Did your dad die? Are you experiencing financial burdens? Is this sorrow from the persecution that you are receiving from being a believer? What is it Paul?”

Paul says, “No, it’s not any of those things. Those things don’t bother me. This is something that is way worse than all of those combined.” Look at what he says, Romans 9:3 – “3 For I could wish that I myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my countrymen according to the flesh.”

What was it that caused Paul to have great sorrow & mourning in his heart? It was the fact that his fellow Hebrews were going to Hell. It drove Paul nuts. The only way that Paul could express the anguish of his soul was through convulsing sobs.

Now there is something that we need to understand. Paul says that his sorrow & grief are for his countrymen. The Jews were not nice to Paul. In fact, the Jews were the cause of the majority of Paul’s problems. By this time in Paul’s life, these guys had whipped him 195 times. He received 195 lashings on his back by his countrymen.

Could you imagine mourning for a group of people who were responsible of tearing your back to shreds by whipping you 195 times? These guys would follow Paul around wherever Paul would go & start riots & mobs. They would attack him. Can you imagine having a heart for someone like that. All these people wanted to do was kill him.

This blows me away. “Paul says that he has continual sorrow & grief for someone who hates him.” He goes on to say in Romans 9:3, “For I could wish that I myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren.”

The word “Accursed” means that Paul wished that if it were at all possible, that he could be Damned to hell instead so that these Jews who hated him could come to Christ.

I don’t know about you, but I do know about me. I don’t have this heart for those who love me, which means that I definitely don’t have this heart for my enemies either. My prayer is that God would give us His heart. I pray that God would speak to us & convict us.

We get so caught up in our little lives & we tend to think that our plans & hobbies, our goals & activities are so important. We tend to think that they have to be done & we go through life forgetting that each & every day people die & go to Hell. Does that even move you to have compassion for those who are going to hell? I pray that it does.

This reality does not even enter into our minds. We don’t even think about it. Since the beginning of the church, there have been men & women who have opened up their hearts to God. They have asked God to take His heart & place it into their hearts.

They say, “I want You Lord, to take the way that You feel & cause that to be the way that I feel. Lord, whatever moves you, I want that same thing to move me.” And since the beginning of the church, there have been people who God has been able to use to stain this world with the blood of Jesus Christ through their lives.
Today God is looking for a man or a woman whom He could use to stain this world with the blood of Jesus Christ. God desires to use our lives for His glory. God wants to use us to bring people into salvation. Today, in our age of technology & science, God is looking for a man or a woman. God is looking for ANYONE, it doesn’t matter who it is. ANYBODY.

God is looking for someone who will say, “Here I am use me. Lord, I won’t get caught up in this worlds system. I won’t just pass through life without praying for the lost & without telling people about Jesus Christ. Lord, I won’t go through this life just living out my will because my life is not my life anyways.”

There was a Scottish Reformer by the name of John Knox. And it was said of John Knox that he would be there in bed next to his wife. He would look over to his wife & say, “How can anyone sleep? PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HELL!!!” So he would rise up out of bed & go upstairs & his wife would occasionally sneak up stairs & see him in the middle of the night pleading for the lost.

He would pray, “GOD GIVE ME SCOTLAND LEST I DIE!!! How could anyone sleep when people are going to hell?”

Bob Pierce is another man I would like to mention. Do you know who he is? He is the man who founded World Vision & The Samaritan Purse. Franklin Graham is now the CEO of the Samaritan Purse. Bob Pierce died in 1978.

Billy Graham writes in one of his books about Bob Pierce & he says how he always hated sleeping in the same room as Bob Pierce. The reason he hated it was because Bob Pierce would pray for four hours every single night no matter where he was. It didn’t matter who he was with, he prayed & he prayed out loud.
Can you imagine sleeping in a room with someone who cries out for four hours a night in prayer? Billy Graham goes on to say, “How can you get in the flesh with someone who cries out to God for four hours every night?” Bob Pierce was a man who was transformed by the love of God. He was a man who God was able to use to do great exploits for God. He was a man who allowed God to change his heart.

Vs. 3) “Paul said that I wish that I could be damned to hell…” Paul did not say this lightly he knew what hell was all about & he wished that he could go instead of his countrymen. He says in Philippians 1:21-25, “that he is willing to stay out of heaven so that he could strengthen the church.” So Paul is willing to go to hell for the non-believer & he is willing to stay out of heaven for the believer.

Now in Luke 16:19-31 Jesus tells a true story of what Hades is like.
“19 “There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. 20 But there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, full of sores, who was laid at his gate, 21 desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table. Moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 And being in torments in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. 24 “Then he cried and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.’ 25 But Abraham said, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented. 26 And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.’ 27 “Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, 28 for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’ 29 Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.’””
As of right now, when a person dies who is not born again, they go to Hades. Hades is a place of torment. One day this place called Hades will be cast into the lake of fire as described in Revelation 20:11-15.

Paul knew all about this. Paul knew that Hades would be thrown into hell one day. When Paul wrote Romans 9:3, he wasn’t just saying it because he was all emotional. “Oh how I wish that I myself would be accursed that my countrymen might be saved.” This was in Paul’s heart, he knew how real Hades was. He knew how real hell was.

It says here in Luke 16:22, that the rich man died & was buried. You need to know that it is not over when you die & are buried, there is more to come. Vs. 23, Notice the word “Torments”. He was in torments, it’s plural. He wasn’t just experiencing one torment, but numerous torments. There were many different kinds of torments & circumstances that were thrust upon him. HE WAS IN TORMENTS!!!

Vs. 24) “24 “Then he cried and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.’”

What does the person in Hell experience? They experience TORMENTS!!! This rich man who mistreated this guy Lazarus was being tormented in this flame & he was begging that he could get just a drop of water on his tongue. He was begging for just a little bit of comfort. He was looking for something that could just temporarily minimize his torment for just a second.

Think about this for a second, If you were dying of thirst, would a drop of water satisfy you? What if you were in flames? No way, but this rich guy was in so much torment, that he begged Abraham to have Lazarus dip his finger in water & cool his flaming tongue.

Do you know that this is a true story? This is a true story that Jesus told us about 2000 years ago. Do you know what that means? That means that for the last two-thousand years, for every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of every decade of every century of every millennium, this rich man has been crying out these same words.

He has been saying, “I am tormented in this flame!!!” We read this story & we just think that this is a story. BUT IT’S NOT JUST A STORY, IT’S A TRUE STORY!!!

Jesus left heaven & died on a cross for this particular mans sin. And for two-thousand years this man has been crying out the same thing. “PLEASE, IS THERE IS ANYBODY, WHO CAN JUST DIP THEIR FINGER IN SOME WATER & COOL MY TONGUE, FOR I AM TORMENTED IN THIS FLAME!!!”

Look at what it says in Verse 28-31. Look at what he says. “I have five brothers, please tell them so that they won’t come to this place of torment.” If God would open up Hades & give us a glimpse of what is going on there. If God would allow you to hear the cries of the souls that are in Hades, do you know what they would be saying to us?

They would be saying to us, “PLEASE, GO & TELL MY MOTHER, MY BROTHER & SISTERS. PLEASE I BEG YOU TO GO TELL MY FATHER & MY FRIENDS PLEASE, I BEG YOU, LEST THEY COME TO THIS PLACE OF TORMENT!!!” That is exactly what the cries of Hell would be telling us. “PLEASE!!! GO!!! PLEASE!!!”

Is hell real to us? Is Heaven real to us? Is Jesus real to us? Is this church thing that we do, just some social thing that we do? Is this just a club that we joined? Is this a reality? PLEASE, CHECK YOUR HEART!!! Is Jesus the reason we move & live?
Do I really believe that Jesus redeemed me? Do I really believe that unless the Lord would have intervened that I would have gone to this place of torment? Or am I just a Christian because it gives me warm fuzzies? Well Bill, it really makes me feel good!

Turn to Jeremiah. Jeremiah was known as the “Weeping Prophet”. He was always weeping because of the back-slidden state of the nation of Israel. He wept over their sin & he wept because they had strayed from God. And he was weeping because Judgment was coming & it was going to be upon them. He would get up every single morning for 30 – 40 years & preach God’s word to the children of Israel.

He was unceasing in his dedication to the Lord God. He said at one point in His ministry that he would never preach again. I mean, Jeremiah preached for over 40 years & do you know how many people listened to him in those 40 years? ZERO, Not even one!!!

In Jeremiah 20:9, it says, 9 Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him, Nor speak anymore in His name.” But His word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, And I could not.

No one was getting saved, no one cared & because of his preaching he was getting persecuted for it. He was eventually thrown in prison for preaching God’s Word. But he couldn’t stop because it was burning in his heart like a fire.

But there was something else that caused Jeremiah to preach God’s Word. Turn to Jeremiah 9:1.

“1 Oh, that my head were waters, and my eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night For the slain of the daughter of my people!”

Jeremiah loved his people. He loved the ones that were going to hell & he wept over them. He couldn’t stop preaching to them because he knew that if he didn’t share God’s Word that they would end up in Hades like the rich man. Jeremiah wept day & night for the lost.

Do we? Do we even care about people who are going to hell? Jeremiah said that his eyes were a fountain of tears. Turn to Jeremiah 13:17.

“17 But if you will not hear it, my soul will weep in secret for your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly and run down with tears, because the LORD’s flock has been taken captive.” He would weep in secret.

Jeremiah 14:17. “Therefore you shall say this word to them: ‘Let my eyes flow with tears night and day, and let them not cease; for the virgin daughter of my people has been broken with a mighty stroke, with a very severe blow.”

He was a man who wept because of the judgment that was going to come upon them.

Going back to Romans 9, Paul the Apostle, the man we admire & the man who’s example we seek to copy. Paul was a man who could not be stopped. He was stoned to death & dragged out of the city. God raised him back from the dead. And as soon as he was raised from the dead, Paul goes back into the same city that had just killed him & preached the gospel again. He would be beaten & go from city to city preaching the gospel. Stuart just taught that last week from Acts 13-14.

He was a man that could not be stopped even though he was whipped 195 times. He was a man who was taken captive three different times & beaten with bamboo sticks. He would not stop preaching the gospel.
When Paul was in Philippi, he cast a demon out of a young girl & was whipped & thrown into prison for it. He would not stop preaching the Gospel.

And we look at that & we say, “Hey, I want to be that devoted to the Lord! I want that fire burning inside of me! I want that passion & zeal. I want that knowledge.” But there is something that we miss. We miss the fact that Paul & Jeremiah wept & mourned for the lost. We miss the fact that Paul wished that he could go to Hades instead of his countrymen.

You know, if we were in Hades, we would be crying out for people to go & tell our family & friends about Jesus. I can promise you that. We want to partake of the miracles that Paul partook of. We want the warm feelings. But we miss out on the fact that Paul had the heart of God beating in his own heart. Paul knew the Lord & knew the Lord’s heart.

Not only that, but the very heart of God was beating through Paul. God’s heart consumed Paul so much that Paul wished that he could go to hell instead of his countrymen.”

When God’s heart is beating in your soul, you cannot help but walk around & look at all the people who are going to hell & start to weep. You will start mourning for them.

Turn to Romans 15:18-20. What I want to focus on here is the fact that Paul preached the gospel FULLY from Jerusalem to Illyricum. If you look at your maps in the back of the bible. Illyricum is 1400 miles from Jerusalem.

Now when we follow Paul’s missionary journeys in the book of Acts, we never read of when he goes to Illyricum. But here in Romans 15 he says that he has fully preached the gospel. He says that he has gone as far as he can. He says, “I have preached from Jerusalem all the way to Illyricum, 1400 miles, sharing the gospel. I have planted churches & discipled people.” To travel 1400 miles in that day was not easy. Do you know what he went through in order to preach the gospel?

Turn to 2 Corinthians 11:23-28. “23 Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. 24 From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— 28 besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches.”

He went through it. He went through all of this in order to preach the gospel from Jerusalem to Illyricum. And we don’t even know when Paul went to Illyricum, but he did.

And even in Romans 15:23-24, Paul says that he was going to go to Spain also. You see, Paul was a man who was haunted by the fact that people are going to hell. Paul was going to go as far as he could. He would not stop for any reason. He knew that hell was a real place. Paul would not & could not be stopped.

As a matter of fact, the only way that they could actually stop him was to cut his head off. They had stoned him, beat him, whipped him, thrown him in prison, & nothing stopped him. So they cut his head off.

Paul fully preached the gospel. Paul made it his goal & aim to PREACH THE GOSPEL. Paul had a vision & a goal. It was to go to those who had never heard the gospel.
In Romans 1:14–17. “14 I am a debtor both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to wise and to unwise. 15 So, as much as is in me, I am ready to preach the gospel to you who are in Rome also.16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. 17 For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.”

Paul had one ambition, one aim & one goal. Can I ask you, WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS?

Are you focused in on what God is focused in on? Paul was not ashamed of the gospel, are we? What is it going to take to get us to go & preach the gospel? What will it take for us to quit playing games with the Lord & start to get serious about our walks with Him? What will stop us from continuing in sin & JUSTIFYING our sinful behavior?

“Well, it was only one cigarette. I only had a wine cooler, & that is only 5% alcohol. Well, this was just a small little white lie.” How long will we play games? When will we get serious about the Lord. You know, every 1.5 seconds a person enters into eternity. SOMEONE DIES EVERY 1.5 SECONDS!!! Will we share the gospel with them?


Monday, January 07, 2008

Journal 1/7/08

It has been a while since I have blogged, I don’t really have much to say these days. God is good and that is the most important thing to remember when things get tough. He will get you through to the other side and our hope is in our future with him in eternity, not in this present age. So please be encouraged as you journey through this world as a pilgrim.