Friday, December 29, 2006

Journal 12/29/06


You are so worthy to be exalted and praised. I am so grateful that you love me the way in which you do. Who am I Lord that you are mindful of me? You know who I am and I thank you that you love me in spite of where I have been and what I have done.

I long for home Lord, I long for the day that cars don't break down and water heaters don’t break. I long for the day that death no longer reigns as a king over us. I look forward to the day when your redeemed ones will be together in our glorified bodies and able to worship you with no sin inside of us. I hate being a sinner. I hate the fact that I am such a joke, but I do delight in the fact that you the King of kings delight in me. Wow Lord, you totally rock and I am grateful.

Please help my wife and I to find the church home that you designed for us to fellowship and worship in. Lead us into the area of ministry that you desire. use our gifts Lord for your glory and help us to not settle for anything less than your will and desires for our lives. I love you Jesus, not as much as I ought to, but I am grateful that you have enabled me to love you in the capacity that I do. You are my rock and as my rock, I must say, You ROCK!!!

In Jesus name I pray....Amen.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Journal 12/28/06

I am so frustrated with life. I feel like I am missing something that is so important yet I do not see what it is that I need to be looking at. I really miss Calvary Chapel Saving Grace. And I am not trying to be mean but the churches here in Oregon simply do not compare to the life that I experienced at CCSG. Things are so dead here. No one fellowships with anyone from the outside. No one cares for people here and it bothers me. I visited a church just last night and it was like we were invisible. No one even spoke to us. Why is that?

I am really bummed out and my heart is broken over the state of the church here in Portland. I am starting to visit church after church in my search for whatever it is that I am missing and the more I look, the more desperate I get. It's like every church so far that I have visited is run by one man; it isn't a living organism its a dead mausoleum and it frustrates me. I am so tired of the church being a one man show where the pastor leads worship and teaches and does this and does that and does everything and no one else is allowed to do any of these things. There is no room in these churches nor is there a desire to raise up the next generation. And my heart is broken.

I have been in the ministry for about 12 years now and really I have never had a problem doing the work of the Lord yet here in Oregon the impression I get is that the typical pastor thinks that no one is capable of hearing from the Lord but them. And therefore no one can step out and do what they are called to do because they simply are not hearing from the Lord. It really bums me out....actually it makes me angry.

I need you to heal me angry heart. I am so frustrated and simply mad. Will you help me to be the man you desire? Will you help me to resist the flesh and to walk in the Spirit? Lead me in Your ways O Lord as there is no other way that is worth traveling. I need to hear from you and I need Your leading hand to direct me so I know where to go and what to do? I know you called me here to Oregon but what is it that you desire to teach me? Do I need to surrender more? Probably. Oh my Jesus, help me to submit to you and to your authority as I work through these issues in my heart. I need you to heal me and teach me your ways. In Jesus name I pray...Amen.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Scott family

Friday, December 22, 2006

Journal 12/22/06

Oh what I would do have the kind of faith that it takes to climb out of this boat of unbelief and fear on into the crashing waves of obedience and intimacy with the Lord. I desire to step out of my comfort zone of apathy into the realm of the unknown. I long to go into that place where I am able to see you Jesus standing upon the shore as you hold out your hands calling out my name. But the waves are really terrifying as they shout out my name. The waves mock me and laugh at me. They remind me of all the times before when I tried to step out in faith and yet I failed and sank as they crashed down upon my weary soul. As the water rises and falls, twists and turns, I start to get a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I feel sea sick; alone, and scared.

Yet the voice of Jesus calls out to me saying, “Do not be afraid”. The voice of Jesus speaks to me saying, “All this is for My glory son, trust Me”. I can hear the Lord though many voices are calling out to me. As the waves rise and crash around me yelling out curse words and blasphemies against me and also against my Lord; I hear through all the chaos the soft whisper of Jesus. “Do not be afraid, Bill. Come to Me. Take the leap of faith and step out into the unknown depths of the ocean’s tide.”

“Lord, the waves are simply too big. I can’t stand in this torrent of destruction!”

“Bill, do not be afraid, simply follow the sound of my voice. You will be ok, follow my voice my child!”

So I jump out of this boat of apathy into the raging torrents of despair in hopes of finding the One who alone can satisfy my thirsty and weary soul. The raging waters only terrify me; they do not quench the overwhelming thirst that invades my core being. And as I take this step of faith and jump into the water, I get drenched, I get beat up by the harsh cruel reality of the currents wetness as the winds of despair blow the raging seas all around me. I sob in total horror as the current overtakes me like a sudden flood. I am bitterly cold as the icy chill rips through my body. I am abandoned and alone. I start to sink as fear grips me. The waves screech and yell, “You are going to drown. There is no hope for you now!”. I turn and begin to swim in desperation as I head back towards the boat. “Where did it go? Where is the boat I just jumped from?” I look in every direction for the boat but it is too far away; it is too dark to see….I frantically splash as I kick my arms and feet while treading water to stay afloat. I am in a panic.

“Bill, follow my voice….”

Though I feel like I am all but dead in this violent downpour I start to turn towards my only hope. And this hope is not something tangible like the boat I came from, it is merely a voice in the distant horizon. As I tread the fierce storm waters and look to where the voice is coming from, I fearfully begin swimming as the thunder assaults me. I swim and swim and swim. I swim for days, weeks, months, years…I keep swimming.

“You are a liar, backstabber, betrayer, deceiver, LIAR” are the words that are thrown at me in my torturous swim of faith. “You are such a back stabber! You are a LIAR, You deceive everyone!” are the words I hear from the white wash waves as they punish and splash upon me. Yet in the midst of these harsh words I hear Your whisper, “Bill, follow Me….follow My voice.” I can see you holding onto my pain and using it to pull me closer to you and closer to your ways as I swim in your direction.

In absolute desperation I swim harder and faster, as I race frantically towards the whisper I hear in the distance. Your voice is so hard to make out at times in the midst of this storm. So I swim on hoping that I am swimming in the right direction as I am tossed to and fro in the waters of death. As the storm rages on, I swim enduring the sufferings that are inflicted upon my drenched and lowly frame. I am now desperately seeking and frantically searching for the voice of my Lord.

And though I don’t understand your ways Lord; I am passionately seeking the sight of your face as that is all that keeps me moving forward. You are all I am in need of now. I know it’s going to be worth it all once I finally see you. I believe that with all my heart. This storm of suffering that I am enduring will be worth it. How I look to that day that I finally make it to the shore where you no longer have to pull on the strings of my heart. For on that day, my heart will be fully in your hand. You will no longer have to tug; for you will have me fully; wholly and I will be safe in your arms as you are my hope and shelter as I endure this fierce storm.

Until then please help me to swim. Help me to run the race with endurance until I finally get to behold you in all your glory. Help me to follow your voice in the midst of suffering. Help me to cling to the hope of seeing you as I swim on in my insecurity. Help me to trust you when I start to lose heart and feel like giving up.

I can’t wait to see your face before me. I can’t wait to stand with you on the shores of eternity. I can’t wait to walk beside you; embracing you as you embrace me. I can’t wait to be surrounded by your glory. I can’t wait to be in the presence of my king….to sing and dance before my Lord. You are worth more than swimming in a thousand oceans and the more I swim the more desirable you become. You are far more valuable than the very life that I have to offer you. I worship you Jesus. I simply cannot fathom what it will be like on that special day when the race is finally over and you are there standing at the finish line. Oh the glory, what a wonderful day that will be.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Your love broke through – Keith Green

Your love broke through – Keith Green (He often sings the words that are on my heart)

Like a foolish dreamer trying to build a highway to the sky;
All my hopes came tumbling down and I never knew just why
Until today, when you pulled away the clouds that hung like curtains on my eyes
Well I’ve been blind all these wasted years when I thought I was so wise
But then you took me by surprise

Like waking up from the longest dream; how real it seemed; until your love broke through
I’ve been lost in a fantasy that blinded me until your love broke through.

All my life I have been searching for that crazy missing part
And with one touch you simply rolled away the stone that held my heart
Now I see that the answer was as easy as just asking you in
And I am so sure that I could never doubt your gentle touch again
Its like the power of the wind.

Journal 12/21/06 - part two

When I say that I love you, I merely mouth the words as my actions do the opposite of what my words mouth out. I hate being so drawn to sin. I hate the fact that I do find sin pleasurable and most of the time I am unwilling to give up the darkness found in my heart.

Make me willing Lord….I mean, I am willing now, but then 10 minutes from now I will find myself back in sin. I hate the fact that I go back and forth….all the time. You bid me to come to you, so here I am….take me home; sanctify my depraved heart and empty me of self so I can be filled with all of you.


Journal 12/21/06

God is good and I am not....

End of Story.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Journal 12/14/06

When I consider the stars as the work of your hands and when I consider who You are my Lord; and who I am in light of who you are; I start asking myself, who are you to give everything for me? You withhold nothing from me and I will never know the price you chose to pay. I will never know the depth that you had to go to give everything for me. Did You really do all this just to say I love you? I am left here speechless as my mouth drops in wonder while I contemplate Your goodness towards me.

I want to shout out that You don't know who I am; who I really am in the depth of my depravity. But then my mouth shuts as I read Psalm 139 because it is clear that You know me inside out. And when I tie this into Romans 8:28-29; I start weeping. I am a wretched sinner and yet You knowing this; You still invested all that You are into me. The wisest men of the world would say that this was a bad investment; that You would be wasting Your valuable time investing in me....and You are wiser than all men. Yet You invested into me any ways. And in Your foreknowledge You predestined me to be conformed into the image, the reflection of Jesus. You have called me to reflect Your son.

I am nothing like You Lord. When I read in Your word about Your love, tenderness, compassion, mercy, and all Your other attributes, I stop and think that I am none of those things. But I desire to give You my all. I want You to take my life. I want to give You my heart, not just my body. But I want to give You all of me, not just lip service. Yet I am torn as I go back and forth over and over again between lip service and real commitment to You. I know You are what I want but sin clouds my eyes so that I cannot see at all.

The truth is that I can’t wait to see Your face, to look upon You with tears in my eyes. I long for the day that I can fall on my face and worship You my Lord face to face so to speak. I am one of those people who pierced You and yet Your love compels me to reach out to You; crying for mercy.

I reach out to You through the shadows of my depravity that I have lived through. I reach out to You through all the lies that I have believed in hopes that Your truth will set me free. I see that You are holy but as I reflect on my life, I am unholy. I am unclean. I can see Your reflection dimly. I lift my head as I see the light of Your Son. And because of the cross of Jesus I am able to take a step towards Your light as I flee the shadows of the wilderness that I have made my home in. As I see You taking my place I sob even more as the darkness starts to fade. Beneath Your cross I am able to take the steps needed to flee my past. You have given me wings so I am able to fly. I can now run the race as You carry me from darkness to light.

I was pondering the account in Luke when Mary was pregnant with You. What did she feel? What was it like for her? What was her point of view? What is the symbolism of Mary saying yes, let Christ "grow" in me? What did she do when she felt Your 1st kick in her womb? How did she feel as You literally grew day by day in her? It was obvious to everyone that You were in her because her body changed as You grew in her more and more with each passing day.

That is what I want. I want to be changed as You grow in me Jesus. I want to feel Your growing pains as You get bigger and bigger inside of me. I want to be in that place where I say, yes Lord, grow in me. Will You please grow in me Lord?

What did Mary think as she prepared for Your coming? As You grew in her she had to prepare for Your coming. And as You grow in me I also want to prepare for Your return; Your 2nd coming.

I think of how you had to break through her placenta to come. And how you literally had to break her so that she could see You with her own eyes. Yet You desire the same thing with me. You want to break me; You desire to tear down the walls of callousness in my heart so that I can finally set my eyes upon You. You desire to prepare me for Your return and in the same way that you broke through Mary’s birth canal and tore through her flesh. So you desire to do with me. You want to tear through my flesh to prepare me for Your return. So here I am Lord…..weak as I may be; I am here. Please do Your work in me….grow in me….tear through my flesh… I may at last behold Your glory and see You face to face.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

I can hear you calling...

I can hear you calling out; searching for me. You do not sit there waiting for me to return to you; you passionately pursue me in a love driven state. You seem panic stricken in your search. Why? What are you so concerned about? I mean it’s not that I am lost. I can hear your voice it’s faint but I can hear it. You are shouting out; not in anger, but so I can hear you, “I love you Bill; where are you!” “You love me? Of course you love me; you have told me this my whole life; why are you telling me this again?” I can hear your voice in the distance, it sounds like you are weeping as you call out my name.

Why are you calling me? Am I lost? I can't be; I have known you for 15 years now. Yet I find that your voice though faint is as clear as day. You are searching for me. "Bill, where are you?"

"I am right here!" I say in response. "I am right here; can't you see me?" But it is not my physical body that you are searching for. You are looking for my heart. My heart has gotten lost and you search for it as my heart is who I am. “I am right here; can’t you see me? Can’t you hear me?”

I start to sob and weep as your voice gets further and further away. I start to mourn as I feel as if you have lost me. “You are going the wrong way! I am over here, turn around; TURN AROUND!!!” Yet your voice disappears into the night. It is now that I see that I am an utter mess, I am totally lost as I strain to hear your voice; yet you are no where to be found. “I am lost!” I start sobbing as I contemplate where I am at. I am in utter darkness. And yet I did not know I was lost until I heard your distant voice start to fade. I start to mourn with sounds unbearable for the ear to comprehend. My eyes fill with tears as my heart weeps and sobs with the horror of realizing that I cannot hear you; even more so, you cannot hear me.

Words flee me as the pain inside causes me to utter out groans that are too weak to hear. I am no longer audible. I whimper a cry of death as I lay here in my hopeless state. Like a wounded animal about to become prey; I lay here lifeless in total despair. Words flee my mouth as I whimper, sob and mourn.

As all hope is lost, I feel a hand touch me. “There you are Bill. I have looked all over for you and at last I have found you again.”

I look up trembling as I wipe the tears from my face. “Lord, how did you find me? I mean when I was shouting out to you, you could not hear me. Yet when I am unable to speak, because of the despair in my heart it is then that you hear and find me? I don’t understand.”

“My son, your heart is a fragile instrument. It is not like any other instrument on earth. You see my son, with other instruments you have to strike the chord in order for it to be heard. But the heart is different; the more you strum it, the harder it is to hear. And though you think you can be heard the harder you strum; the truth is that the more your march to the beat of your own heart, the further away from me you get. But once you stop strumming; it is then that the strings of your heart start to sing. It is at that point that I can hear the melodies of mourning that pours from within your soul. When your soul began to pour out the song of surrender; it was easy to find you. And now I have you my son. I have you and you are safe!”

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?
I, the LORD, search the heart….”

"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment."

Journal 12/12/06


Help me to be a man who is changed by Your word. You desire my sanctification and I want to have integrity when it comes to Your Word. Help me to walk filled with Your presence. Help me to read and interpret and understand Your word Jesus. Help me to build my life on the Rock of Your word and not the sand of this world. Help me to trust You in the midst of suffering and help me to walk in Your ways O Lord. I am desperate for You and Your mercy and Your compassion. Have pity on me Lord.

I pray for my family and I ask that if You are willing please bless them today. Please minister and teach Billy Jr. Your ways today. Teach him to be a leader by being a servant. Help him to see his need for a Savior.

Please heal Tobias and help him to not have Autism. If you choose to allow him to have this, then help us to minister to him in love. Help him to trust you all the days of his life.

And I ask and dedicate Mercy to You O Lord. Give her a desire to know You even know. Teach her Your ways O Lord that she may walk in truth all the days of her life.

And I ask for a special blessing on Jessica. Please use her to teach these kids Your ways. Help her to teach them math and science, and help her to have them memorize your Word. Help her to potty train the kids and give her grace when she is discouraged. I pray that you would minister to Jessica and use her for Your glory with our kids. We need you Jesus.

And I pray for me Lord, I need to be a man who walks worthy of the call that you have placed upon my life. Lead me by your Spirit and teach me Your word so I can teach the youth your ways. Help me to walk with integrity in all areas of my life and redefine my character. I am a mess and I need You Jesus to do a work. So please lead us in Your ways. In Jesus name I ask these things…..Amen

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I am bummed

So I have been told that my sone Tobias is showing sign of being autistic. Here is what the dictionary says about it and I have put in bold what signs he is showing.

au·tism /ˈɔtɪzəm/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[aw-tiz-uhm] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. Psychiatry. a pervasive developmental disorder of children, characterized by impaired communication, excessive rigidity, and emotional detachment.
2. a tendency to view life in terms of one's own needs and desires.

n. A psychiatric disorder of childhood characterized by marked deficits in communication and social interaction, preoccupation with fantasy, language impairment, and abnormal behavior, such as repetitive acts and excessive attachment to certain objects. It is usually associated with intellectual impairment.


Abnormal introversion and egocentricity; acceptance of fantasy rather than reality.
Infantile autism.

au·tistic (ô-tstk) adj.

: a developmental disorder that appears by age three and that is variable in expression but is recognized and diagnosed by impairment of the ability to form normal social relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate with others, and by stereotyped behavior patterns especially as exhibited by a preoccupation with repetitive activities of restricted focus rather than with flexible and imaginative ones

Let's just say that I am a tad frustrated.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Journal 12/4/06


You Rock.....Amen!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Journal 11/14/06

I have been in such a funk lately. I don’t know if I am coming or going. I don’t know where my heart is at or where it needs to be and I am in a state of confusion and dismay. My emotions are so inconsistent yet that is not fully true. They are very consistent at being inconsistent. I wish I were more spiritual. I wish I had things more dialed in and had my act together. I wish…I wish…I wish.

But who am I kidding? The fact of the matter is that I don’t have it all together and that is just the way it is. But that does not change how good our God is. Paul said in Romans 11:33, “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!”

And that is true no matter where I am spiritually. God has depth and because I don’t I can tap into his depth to help me in my shallowness and weakness. I can tap into the riches of His wonderful wisdom and knowledge and take a hold of those things and make them mine. I have access to my God and He loves me as He is my Father.

Jesus did all the work that needed to be done. He laid the foundation and gave me access to the Father. And because of the work that He did, I can become something that I am not. Just like Simon whose name means “Shifting Sand” I have been given a new name by the Lord. Simon was given the name Peter which means “Rock”. And though Simon was shifting sand most of the time, as he spent time with the Lord and partook of the depths of the wisdom and knowledge of God, he started changing from shifting sand to solid rock.

And that is my hope. As I am inconsistent and shallow and as I don’t know which way is up; that doesn’t matter as long as I tap into the resources that the King of kings has given to me.

Most people know this already, but for those of you who don’t I work at a box plant. We make boxes. Well, I have a new saying that I like using. Jesus is the glue that holds my flaps together. I just need to tap into him.

So with that said, Lord Jesus here I am. I want to tap into you and I want to be a child who is led by your Spirit. What is it that I need to do to get into that special place where I am changed by you and you alone? Please forgive me for being so lazy and complacent. Please forgive me for being so apathetic. Will you help me lean on you in these times when I don’t know which way is up? Please reveal yourself to me in a new and refreshing way. I know that you desire to do new things in my life and I want to hear from you and be empowered by you to do those things. So here I am Lord. Please speak to me.


Monday, November 06, 2006

Journal 11/6/06

Holy Spirit,

Thank you for Your conviction. Thank you for the power to do the right thing when you do convict me of sin. I was about to lie today and started to and you convicted me and I repented before you and the person who I started to lie to. Thank you for being so quick to convict me Lord and thank you for doing it in a way where I really felt bad and felt like I had to urgently get right before you and this person I was about to wrong. And the funny thing is that everything is just fine without the lie. My heart is so deceptive and its arguments are so persuasive. I wish my sinful heart did not have the strong hold that it does have upon me. But regardless, thank you for correcting me Lord.

I want to be a man led by your Spirit and I want to be a man who loves conviction. Thank you so much Father for the work of the Spirit. Please continue to convict me of all my wrong doings and sins and help me to continually repent before you. I want to be in the center of your will. And I am grateful for what happened today. In Jesus name I ask that you would continue to lead me in your ways.


Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Written on 10/24/06


There is a story that is not far away,
It’s not in a distant land, as it’s lived out today
It begins with a child who is about to turn two
He is dearly loved, and his name is Drew

October twenty-sixth in two-thousand and four
Was the day that this child, Drew, came to shore
His life has had great hardship and even greater fear
Yet Drew is a fighter as he’s proved through these years

He has been through the fire; he has been through lots of pain
And though he wanted all sunshine; he’s received mostly rain
The grey skies he’s been through, since the day he was born
Could easily discourage all, as he lives through this storm

For this very young child about one year ago
Had a surgery that was to heal him you know
After a year of healing, those who love him can see
That the surgery may not have helped his kidneys

So now comes more trials as each day brings less rest
For in November, Drew, will have many more test
These tests should reveal if his kidneys will quit
The test will reveal if this is as good as it gets

Is all this stuff trying? Is it painful to bear?
The answer is yes, as we fill with despair
But this is not the last chapter in the life of Drew’s book
Let’s stop for a moment and let’s take a look

The God of the Bible has inscribed on his hand
Every day of Drew’s life as its all part of His plan
And though we can’t see how the story will end
We can trust in Jesus; to heal and to mend

It sometimes is hard to see that Jesus really cares
When we beg him to heal Drew, as we cry out in prayer
Each trial gets harder as the night carries on
We don’t hear a thing and think Jesus is gone

But Jesus is here, at Drew’s side all day long
He is holding Drew as He sings Drew a new song
For this is God’s heart, as he works in this way
I can here the Lord speaking, this is what the Lord says

“My Child do not fear, please take My hand,
Don’t look at this trial as it is shifting sand
If you will but trust and surrender to Me
I will hold you My child in all your suffering.”

So this is our hope when all seems to fail
We can cling to the Lord as we weep and we wail
The Lord is our comfort; I hope you’ll pursue
For the Lord holds the heart of your beloved child Drew

Monday, October 30, 2006

The Time Has Come

The time has come for the end is at hand
We need to repent; do as the Lord commands
For the stage is set and the end is near
The Lord could return within this year

For in the Far East there is an eerie sense
That war will break out; as we wait in suspense
The pieces are moving; as war is a real threat
The players are playing as the stage is set

Israel is surrounded to her enemies delight
They all assume; she will cower; not fight
The world is now treading to places unknown
As they prepare to wage war; while the Jews stand alone

With earthquakes and famines and rumors of war
We seem to be living in Matthew twenty-four
Do not be troubled; all these things must take place
The end is not yet; there is more to embrace

The EU is growing in power as it thrives
The Roman Empire once again is alive
Now they are talking of people getting chipped
This story is unfolding as they follow God’s script

China and Russia are both part of this plan
As they deceive the U.S. and they side with Iran
The UN seems powerless as these things do occur
While North Korea has now gone nuclear

The scriptures unfolding right before our eyes
We ought to be looking for the Lord in the skies
One thing is clear, not to all, but to some
The Lord is returning; for the time has come!

-Written by Bill Scott, Sr.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Journal 10/27/06


I need you. Will you simply pour out your Spirit upon me? Please anoint me to do your work and cause me to be a light that shines brightly before man so that they can see you in me. I worship and exalt you not because I am worthy, but simply because you are worthy to be praised and worshipped. I thank you that you are worthy. I thank you that it's about you and has nothing to do with me or with where I have or have not been. You are worthy to be exalted and therefor I exalt you!


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Journal 10/25/06


I am a liar, a thief, and adulterer, a murderer, I covet, Im a blasphemer, a heathen, I am rebellious and a stench of death. My heart is black; I am deceitful, full of malice and envy. I love evil and hate good and I am a mess. I want to do the right things yet I never do. I always tend to do the things that bring your name shame. I am selfish and proud. I am arrogant and have a form of spirituality yet I deny the power of it. I am a depraved and wicked man who needs his redeemer to cleanse me. Will you please forgive me for being so apathetic and complacent? Please forgive me for being all those things in the above list. I have so many issues Jesus.

Will I ever get past all these dark sins that cause me to be a man of flesh? Will I ever be a man who is truly led by your spirit? Am I even born again? Am I one of those seeds in the parable of the sower who was cast on rocky ground and when it sprout up it grew with joy until the sun burned it up because it had no depth? Am I one of your kids Lord? Or am I one who simply professes you verbally yet denies you with my actions. Will you say to me on that day, “Good job my faithful servant, come enter into your rest” or will you say, “Depart from me you worker of iniquity, for I NEVER knew you!” I hope you know me Jesus. Yet maybe you do not. Do I know you?

And repentance, I struggle repenting as I have so many issues. And then I question my repentance. Is it really repentance when I stop a specific sin just to do the same sin again the next day? Why won’t I repent? I desire to and I try yet I find myself caught up in the moment and when I look into my heart of hearts I see the man listed in the 1st paragraph of this journal entry.

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! This is so frustrating! I have so many issues and yet I bring them all upon myself as I listen to my flesh and simply don’t take the time to OBEY You Lord. Why won’t I surrender? Will there ever come a day that I will finally get past these things? Will there ever come a day where I simply choose to pursue Jesus with all that is in me? Will I always be unclean?

According to Your words Jesus I have been declared righteous and yet my life does not resemble a life that is righteous. My life resembles a life of rebellion and blackness. I can easily spiritualize my talk and fool those who are closest to me yet I can never fool you. Who am I kidding? I have no idea what it means to be a Christian. I have no clue how to live the victorious life that I hear of so many others in the past living out. I conclude that I can’t do this. I am simply unable to move forward and live out the abundant life that I hear about.

So now what? What happens now? I want to claim the words of Peter when you asked him would he leave you like the other disciples did. Where can I go Lord? You alone have the words of eternal life. So now I have a question for you Lord. What am I doing wrong? Or what is it that I am not doing? Please speak to me Lord; although if I am being real, I probably won’t listen anyways. Why am I like this Jesus? Is there something that I am missing that will make all this stuff simply click? I am desperate Lord and yet in my heart of hearts I feel as if nothing has changed and I will still be the man I deplore.

I need to hear from you. I need the power of your gospel to shed light in the darkness of my heart so that I can see the real problem. Please forgive me Jesus for giving into my flesh and not pursuing after you like I should. I am at a loss and don’t know what else to say.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Journal 10/24/06


Am I even one of your kids? I feel like I am not even a Christian. I feel like my words proclaim your goodness and your truths but my actions deny you. Am I even born again? I don’t even know anymore. If I am born again, then why is it that I won’t walk the walk in Romans 6 where it says that I have been delivered from my sins? Why is it that I still choose to walk in the works of the flesh? I am a mess.

Have I truly repented from my sins Jesus? Or am I so deceived that I am going to be one of those who try to defend myself when I stand before your judgment seat? Will I be one who says, “I did this in your name and I did that in your name. I prophesied and I cast out demons in your name!” I fear that I will hear the words from you Jesus, “I never knew you Bill, depart from me you worker of iniquity!”

That scares me Lord. And if I am not one of yours how do I get into that place where I am yours? And if I am one of your kids, how do I get into that place where I walk in righteousness? Can I once for all be delivered from my sins? And how can I say I am born again if I constantly choose to willfully sin? How do I surrender to you?

Your word tells me that your sheep hear your voice and yet I have not heard your voice and if I have it has been a very long time. I need your help Lord. I know that you love me and are passionate for me, but I truly need you to help me as I am so unrighteous. I am so depraved and every part of my life is tainted in sin. My will is sinful, my thoughts, my heart, my actions, my motives, all of me is tainted with sin. Please cleanse me of this filthy unrighteousness Jesus. I need to be declared clean from all my uncleanness. Will you please pour your Spirit’s fire into my life and consume me Jesus?

Desperately seeking your grace,


Thursday, October 12, 2006

Journal 10/12/06


It is gonna be worth it all one day. And though my flesh wants to dominate me and I desire so often to give into the desires of my flesh, if I will but surrender all that I am to You, it will be worth it one day. And I ask for your forgiveness Lord for appeasing my flesh and lying down and not fighting or wrestling against my flesh. Will you forgive me Lord for not resisting the flesh and will You help me to move forward, not looking back as I place my hand upon the plow. I want to do what is right in Your eyes and I need Your help in doing so.

In Jesus name I pray…..Amen

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Journal 10/11/06


My heart has been so anxious these last couple of days. And I am not sure why. Please help me to be anxious for nothing but with everything by prayer and supplication help me to present my requests to You O Lord. I feel like such a failure when it comes to my walk with You. And the truth is that I am a failure and yet I know that You are ok with that. You love me and You can and will work through my broken life. And that is what I long for. I want to be so intimately acquainted with You. I want us to be one as You are one with Jesus and Jesus is one with You. Will You help me Father?

I feel like all I do is sin. I mean, I struggle with internal feelings of anger or frustration. I struggle with being in the flesh and I look forward to the day when You complete my salvation. I look forward to the day when You glorify and deliver me fully from the flesh that I live in. Am I doing things wrong Lord? Am I trying to do Your work in my flesh? I am so confused on what to do and where to go. And when I feel like you are laying things on my heart, it seems like when I pursue those things that the doors close. And that is ok, it really is Lord, I just wish I could hear from you more clearly.

Sometimes I want to just roll up into a ball and weep and sob Lord. I say this and I am not even depressed. I just feel so inconsistent and I am struggling with hearing from You right now. I desire to be godly Lord. And I know that the desire alone will bring persecution for You have said through your human pens, “those who desire to live a godly live will suffer persecution”.

I have this burning to lead Your people into Your presence father, and yet I feel so unable to do so. I am not talking about playing music. How do I lead others to You through worship? How do I bring them to that place where you can minister to them? And I want to be able to teach and pastor Your people Lord, but I am so unqualified. I lack your anointing and my heart breaks as I am so incompetent. But the desire doesn’t leave me. Is this my flesh Lord? Or is this something that You are placing in my heart? Help me to sort through this. I need Your wisdom and Your counsel.

Also Lord, my heart condemns me. It really does. But You say in Your word, “For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things” You know my heart Lord. Please use me. I want to be a light that shines; I desire to be a Lamp that brings Your light to the people of this world whether they are believers or not. Are you willing to take my broken messed up sin-filled life and use me for Your glory? Please do Jesus. Please use me.

Please give me a heart of compassion and tenderness towards you and towards people. I am so heartless most of the time and I want to invest in people with genuine love towards them. I want to love people with an Agape love and I can’t do that. You are the only one who can supply that sort of love. Please burden me to purse You until Your love permeates out of me.

Love always,

Your struggling child,


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Journal 10/10/06

As I look upon this road that the Lord has placed me upon I tend to wonder what is gazing upon the horizon? Will there be another trial? Will there be a time of rest? Maybe peace? Or will turmoil and blackness by lying there awaiting to pounce upon my wretched soul like a lion waiting for its prey?

And as I look to where I have been and where I have come from, I wonder how many times I took myself off the road that the Lord was leading me onto and turned to myself or to my sin as I blindly trusted in the things of the flesh and this world.

I am so blessed to be Your child Lord and I hope that I am not a child that you constantly have to rebuke and correct. Although, I would rather be rebuked and corrected than left to myself. You love me Jesus and I am thankful for the journey that you have placed me upon. I am thankful for the valleys now because they have given me an appreciation for the times when things are simple and beautiful in my life. Thank you.


I long to see Your glory and I desire to be a tool used in Your hands. You are so wonderful and I pray that if You choose to do so, that You would use me in any way that You desire. Please lead me by Your Spirit and help me to know when You are prompting me to move to the left or the right. Please give me wisdom Lord as You have said that you will give wisdom liberally to all who ask you for it. So Father, I am asking for wisdom. Help me to see what’s beyond the horizon in my life and in my family's life. And help me to prepare as I trust in You alone to sustain me.

In Jesus name I ask these things......So be it.....


Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Purpose of Man - Emeal Zwayne

The purpose of man it to know his Maker
Be known by his Maker
And make his Maker known
So that others may know his Maker as their Maker
Be known by his Maker as their Maker
And make the Maker of him who made his Maker known to them as
their Maker
Known as the Maker of others

So that others may know the Maker of him who made his Maker known
As the Maker of the ones
Who made the Maker of the one
Who made his Maker known to them as their Maker, known as their Maker
As their Maker

And that they may also be known by Him
And make Him known to others

Who will in turn know Him
Be known by Him
And in multiplicity to the degree of infinitude
Make Him known

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Why is there suffering? That proves that there is no 'loving' God.

Study the soil for a moment. It naturally produces weeds. Nobody plants them; nobody waters them. They even stubbornly push through cracks of a dry sidewalk. Millions of useless weeds sprout like there's no tomorrow, strangling our crops and ruining our lawns. Pull them out by the roots, and there will be more tomorrow. They are nothing but a curse!

Look at how much of the earth is uninhabitable. There are millions upon millions of square miles of nothing but barren deserts in Africa and in different parts of the world. Most of Australia is desert. There is nothing but miles and miles of useless desolate land.

Not only that, but the earth is constantly shaken with massive earthquakes. Its shores are lashed with hurricanes, tornadoes rip through creation with incredible fury. Floods of biblical proportions soak the land, and terrible droughts parch the soil. Sharks, tigers, lions, snakes, spiders and disease-ridden mosquitoes attack humanity and suck its life's blood. The earth's inhabitants are afflicted with disease, pain, suffering and death.

Think of how many people are plagued with cancer, Alzheimer's, Multiple Sclerosis, heart disease, emphysema, Parkinson's disease and a mass of other debilitating diseases. Think of all the kids with leukemia, or people born with crippling diseases or without the mental capability to even feed themselves. All these things should convince thinking minds that something is radically wrong. Did God blow it when He created humanity? What sort of tyrant must our Creator be if this was His master plan?

Sadly, many use the issue of suffering as an excuse to reject any thought of God, when its existence is the very reason we should accept Him. Suffering stands as terrible testimony to the truth of the explanation given by the Word of God.

But how can we know that the Bible is true?

Simply by studying the prophecies of Matthew 24, Luke 21, and 2 Timothy 3. A few minutes of openhearted inspection will convince any honest skeptic that this is no ordinary book. It is the supernatural testament of our Creator as to why there is suffering . . . and what we can do about it.

The Bible tells us that God cursed the earth because of Adam's transgression. Weeds are a curse. So is disease. Sin and suffering cannot be separated. The Scriptures inform us that we live in a fallen creation. In the beginning, God created man perfect and he lived in a perfect world, without suffering. It was Heaven on earth. When sin came into the world, death and misery came with it.

Those who understand the message of Holy Scripture eagerly await a new Heaven and a new earth "wherein dwells righteousness." In that coming Kingdom there will be no more pain, suffering, disease or death. We are told that no eye has ever seen, nor has any ear heard, neither has any man's mind ever imagined the wonderful things that God has in store for those that love Him. Think for a moment of what it would be like if food grew with the fervor of weeds. Think how wonderful it would be if the deserts became incredibly fertile, if creation stopped devouring humanity. Imagine if the weather worked for us instead of against us, if disease completely disappeared, if pain was a thing of the past . . . if death was no more.

There is a wise saying: "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." That is solid advice for when you are dealing with sinful mankind. But the promise of a new Heaven and a new earth come from a faithful Creator, and there is no greater insult to God than not to believe His promises. When a nation repents and finds peace with God through trusting in the Savior, God promises to forgive their sins and heal their land.

The dilemma is that we are like a small child whose insatiable appetite for chocolate has caused his face to break out. He looks in the mirror and sees a sight that makes him depressed. His face is nothing but ugly sores. But instead of stopping eating his beloved chocolate, he takes solace by stuffing more into his mouth. Yet, his very joy is actually the cause of his suffering.

The whole face of the earth is nothing but ugly sores of suffering. Everywhere we look, we see unspeakable pain. But instead of believing God's explanation and asking Him to forgive us and change our appetite, we run deeper into sin's sweet embrace. There we find solace in its temporal pleasures; thus intensifying our pain, both in this life, and in the life to come.

Journal 10/4/06


I ask that you would burn the fire of your Spirit upon the alter of my heart. Help me to become more and more radical in my dependency upon you. Help me to remove the worldly garments and help me to put on the clothes of Your righteousness. Teach me what it means to be intimately acquainted with You.

You are so Holy and pure and I am so wicked and depraved, please cleanse me from my apathy and my complacency. Cure me from being mediocre and give me a passion for you and then for the nations. Give me a love for the people of my city and use me to reach out and share the wonderful news of the gospel to my neighbors. You are so wonderful Master and I am so glad that you love me as you do. Please do a work in my heart.

In Jesus name and on His merits alone I ask this……so be it!

Monday, October 02, 2006

How To Engage In Passionate Worship

Worship isn't staring at the band, it's not staring at words, it's not seeing how nice you can sing, it is about giving thanks and focusing on Jesus. And for that reason, I choose to close my eyes. Because when I look at other people, I think about them. And since worship is about Jesus, I want to close my eyes and remember what He did for me, and remember who He is.

Secondly, we worship for one reason... God is worthy. For that reason, it doesn't matter what is going on in our lives, sins, problems, etc... God is still worthy, even when we just sinned and for that reason we should worship as worship is based solely upon the Lord. Its about the Lord and it's to the Lord.

Third, emulate the worship yourself. Choose to worship yourself during worship, close your eyes, emulate Godly worship! And if we want people to do what is Biblical in worship... stand up, fall on your face, cry out, lift up hands...Worship the Lord with all that is in you.

Fourth, if you are leading worship then pick good songs. Don't pick songs about Jesus... ie: Jesus is good, Jesus is nice... Instead pick songs that are too Jesus. ie: I love you so much, thank you Jesus, etc...

Finally, worship is contagious, we were created for it, and if people start hearing that there is passionate worship going on, they will want to come out.

The Father desires those that... worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.

It's His heart, and step out, and be ready to let God open up the floodgates of worship.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Journal 9/28/06

I have been in this place where my heart has been so hard and though I keep wavering back and forth, I pray that finally I am in a place of full on surrender to the Lord. I am so tired of my flesh, it's like I am bound by it and it controls every move I make. I hate it.


you love me and I thank you for showering mercy upon me. Please keep me 100% fully in tune and dependant upon you. Please teach me to crucify my flesh and to pick up my cross daily and follow after you.

In Jesus name I ask this....Amen.

Friday, September 15, 2006

The Acceleration of Life

Here's a great article that I have been hanging onto: KEEP IN MIND -- THIS WAS WRITTEN 10 YEARS AGO!!!

The Acceleration of Life
Is it a Signal that Jesus is Returning Soon?
by Dr. David R. Reagan

Have you noticed how almost everything in life seems to be accelerating in growth? Knowledge has exploded. We are traveling faster and farther than ever before. Instant, world wide communication has become common place. And the power at our disposal is mind boggling.

A Sign of the Times
The Bible teaches that this acceleration of technology which we are experiencing will be a sign of the end times — a sign that will signal the soon return of the Lord.

Consider Daniel 12:4. In this verse the Lord tells Daniel that one of the signs of the end times will be an acceleration of travel and knowledge. Here's how the verse reads in the Living Bible paraphrase:

Daniel, keep this prophecy a secret . . . Seal it up so that it will not be understood until the end times when travel and education shall be vastly increased.

The same concept of end time acceleration is found in the New Testament. Jesus spoke about it when He talked with His disciples about the signs of the end times that would herald His return (Matthew 24:5ff). He mentioned a great variety of signs — spiritual, natural, societal, and world political — and then He said these signs would be like "birth pangs" (Matthew 24:8).

As the birth of a baby approaches, the birth pangs increase two ways. They increase in frequency and intensity. Thus, Jesus was saying that the closer we get to the time of His return, the more frequent and intense the signs will become. There will be more earthquakes and more intense ones. Likewise things like famine, pestilence and war will increase in frequency and intensity.

The Mathematical Concept
In mathematics this acceleration is called an "exponential curve." This term comes from what happens when rapid growth is plotted on a chart. When graphing the growth of something, the growth is considered to be on an exponential curve when the plot line starts moving vertically because the growth is so rapid. You can see a classic example of this principle in the illustration on this page of the growth of the Internet company, America Online.

Now, the point is that the Bible indicates that the exponential curve will be one of the signs of the end times, and my thesis is that we are living in the midst of the exponential curve. Therefore, we are living in the end times.

Examples of the Curve
The 20th Century has been the century of the exponential curve. Let's consider some examples.

1) Population — Demographers estimate that the population of the world at the time of Christ was only 200 million. It took 1,650 years for the world's population to double! But thereafter it began to double very rapidly because the Industrial Revolution produced modern medicine, which, in turn, reduced infant mortality rates and increased longevity. As the statistics below indicate, the rate of doubling has now reached exponential proportions.

Time of Christ -- -- 200 million
1,650 years 1650 AD 500 million
200 years 1850 AD 1.3 billion
100 years 1950 AD 2.5 billion
30 years 1980 AD 4.5 billion

2) Power — Throughout most of recorded history, the maximum power at man's disposal consisted of bows and arrows, spears, and catapults. Even at the beginning of this century, war was still primitive. World War I turned into a stagnant war of attrition because neither side had sufficient power to break out of the trenches.

Eighty years later, we have air power, armored power, nuclear weapons, and sophisticated bacteriological and chemical weapons. We have ICBM's that can deliver a nuclear payload half way around the world. We have laser guided missiles that can guide a bomb down a smoke stack. And we have nuclear submarines that can circle the globe without surfacing. Incredibly, just one of those subs today has more firepower than all the bombs dropped in World War II! It is no wonder the Bible says that in the end times "men will faint with fear" over the expectation of "the things which are coming upon the world" (Luke 21:26).

3) Transportation — In 1900 the major means of transportation was what it had always been throughout history — namely, walking and riding a horse. Bicycles had been invented, and the steam engine had been applied to ships and trains. But steam powered transportation was too expensive for most people.

I have photos that were taken in my home town of Waco, Texas in 1912, and they clearly show that most people were still getting around in horse drawn wagons and carriages.

Today we have automobiles (usually two or more to a family!) and airplanes. We have bullet trains that travel 150 miles per hour and planes that travel faster than the speed of sound. And then, of course, there are rocket ships that take people into orbit around the earth.

In 1866 Mark Twain traveled to the Holy Land. It took him three months to get there. Today, a group can get on a jet plane in New York and be in Tel Aviv in 13 hours (and most will complain about how long the trip took!).

In 1900 the average number of miles traveled per year by a person inside the United States was 1,000. Today it is 25,000 miles per year, and many of us put twice that much mileage on an automobile in a year's time.

4) Communications — At the beginning of this century the telegraph had speeded up communications considerably, but the fundamental means which most people used to get information was still the newspaper.

Today our communication resources are overwhelming. We have telephones, radio, and television. We have exotic devices like fax machines, pagers, and cellular phones. And we can communicate world wide through satellites.

I never cease to be amazed when I see someone use a credit card in an Arab shop in the Old City of Jerusalem. The shop may be nothing but a primitive hole in the wall, but over in some dark corner there will be a machine where the merchant can swipe the card. A few moments later he receives an authorization. During those few moments, the card number has been transmitted to Tel Aviv, from Tel Aviv to New York by satellite, from New York to the credit card processing center somewhere in the States, and then back to the Arab shop in Jerusalem!

I am equally amazed at the way I can sit down at a computer at my home or office and use the Internet to send a letter in seconds to almost any place in the world.

5) Computers — Computer technology has contributed to the rapid acceleration of many aspects of life, but it is interesting to note that the exponential curve applies to the development of computers as well. Anyone who tries to stay on the cutting edge of what is new in computer equipment knows that it is a never ending battle that requires a lot of money. Advances are so rapid that equipment is out of date within a few months.

In 1970 I was a professor at a college where we bought an IBM computer for $100,000. The computer filled a room and generated so much heat that we had to have the room equipped with additional air conditioning. The computer's memory was 64K!

Now, if you are not a computer buff, that may not mean much to you, but keep reading because I'm going to make it understandable; and in the process, I'm going to illustrate how rapidly computer technology has developed.

Ten years later in 1980, this ministry bought one of the first desk top computers made. It was a Tandy TRS 80, Model II. It cost $4,800. When I turned it on, I was astounded by the first thing that appeared on the screen: "64K Memory." In ten years time we had gone from a computer that weighed more than a ton to one that sat on a desk top, and the price had dropped 95%. But the memory was the same!

Ten years later in 1990, I went to Radio Shack and bought an electronic Rolodex small enough to fit into the palm of my hand. It cost $90. And when I turned it on, guess what? The first message that appeared on the screen was "64K Memory."

The first floppy disk that we used in the TRS 80 was 8" in size. It held 300,000 bytes of information. A few years later the 5¼" disk appeared. It would hold 700,000 bytes. Then came the 3½" disk. Its capacity was 1.4 million bytes! Now the hottest thing going is the CD Rom disk. I recently read an advertisement for a CD Rom disc that contained 134,000 pages of theological documents, the equivalent of 1,400 pounds of books!

6) Knowledge — The prophet Daniel was specifically told that knowledge would vastly increase in the end times, and it has. In fact, we have become so overwhelmed with the flood of new information that it is difficult to find wisdom anymore, because wisdom comes from reflection on knowledge.

When I was in graduate school in the early ‘60s, there were only two or three major academic journals in each field of study. Today there are dozens in each field, and they cannot begin to publish all the academic articles that are being written. Many have to limit the articles to one page abstracts, and even then most articles are rejected for a lack of space.

Encyclopedias are out of date before they can be printed. And I read recently where a research organization had determined that one Sunday issue of the New York Times contains more information than the normal person in the 19th Century was exposed to in a lifetime!

The most amazing thing to me in the area of information is the World Wide Web that can be accessed through the Internet. Using it, I can access the documents of the Vatican in seconds, and then in a matter of moments, I can go to the Israel Museum in Jerusalem, or I can dart back to the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C. In short, I can access information all over the world without ever leaving my office.

7) Violence — I don't think I have to emphasize that violence and lawlessness have been increasing. But it is hard to comprehend how rapid the increase has been in this century.

It is estimated by experts that the number of people killed in all the wars fought from the time of Christ until 1939 totals 50 million. In the next six years (1939 through 1945), 57 million people died in World War II. Since that time, almost 60 million have died in armed conflicts, either in wars between nations or civil wars within nations. This has been a century of unparalleled carnage.

Within the United States, violent crime has increased 500% since 1960. During the same period, the country's population increased only 41%.

8) Society — The disintegration of society has multiplied in speed as violence, wickedness, and immorality have increased exponentially. Jesus prophesied this would happen when He said that end time society would be like it was in the days of Noah (Matthew 24:37-39).

I have witnessed the decaying of society with my own eyes. I was born in 1938. When I was born, abortionists were sent to prison. Pregnancy out of wedlock was thought of as scandalous. Homosexuals were considered queer. Pornography was despised as a sickness. Marriage was sacred. Living together was taboo. Divorce was a disgrace. Homemaking was honored, and day care was provided by mothers in their homes. Child abuse was unheard of. Ladies did not curse or smoke. "Damn" was considered flagrant language in a movie. (A recent film featuring Jack Lemon had the "f-word" in it 170 times in 120 minutes!)

I could go on and on about the many ways in which our society (and societies around the world) have decided to "call evil good and good evil" (Isaiah 5:20). But the most dramatic way I can think of to illustrate how rapid the deterioration of society has become in America is to consider the results of a poll concerning public school discipline problems. Consider the differing results between the ‘40s and the ‘80s (and weep!):

The Top Public School Discipline Problems
1) Talking
2) Chewing gum
3) Making noise
4) Running in the halls
5) Getting out of turn in line
6) Wearing improper clothing
7) Not putting paper in wastebaskets

1) Drug Abuse
2) Alcohol Abuse
3) Pregnancy
4) Suicide
5) Rape
6) Robbery
7) Assault
(Source: Time Magazine, February 1, 1988)

9) The Gospel —But not all the exponential curves are bad. Modern technology has made it possible for the Gospel to be preached to billions of people through the use of such media as short wave radio, motion pictures, and satellite television.

Billy Graham's recent broadcast from Puerto Rico was carried by satellite to 185 countries and territories in a total of 116 different languages!

In 1800 the Bible was available in 71 languages. By 1930 the count had risen dramatically to 900. Today, the Bible has been published in 1,700 languages, with 1,000 more in progress. Computer technology has greatly speeded up the translation process.

10) World Politics — The exponential curve also applies to world events. Habakkuk 1:5 is as relevant today as if it were written yesterday: "The Lord replied, ‘Look, and be amazed! You will be astounded at what I am about to do! For I am going to do something in your own lifetime that you will have to see to believe.'"

I took a Sabbatical in 1987 and wrote a book called Trusting God. Seven years later, in 1994, I took another Sabbatical and completely rewrote that book. The exercise gave me an opportunity to reflect back over the seven years between the two Sabbaticals. I was astounded — even overwhelmed — by the rapidity and "stupendity" of world events.

Who could have dreamed in 1987 that within the next seven years any of the following events would have occurred? —

The tearing down of the Berlin Wall
The peaceful liberation of Eastern Europe from Communism
The collapse of the Soviet Union
The reunification of Germany
The resurgence of Islam and its emergence as the greatest threat to world peace
The sending of 500,000 American troops to the other side of the world to defend a country most Americans had never heard of (Kuwait)
The handshake between Rabin and Arafat that has led to Israel surrendering its heartland to the PLO
In 1987 if you had predicted any of these developments, you would have been written off as "nuts." The rapidity of these events and their radical nature is breathtaking. They underscore the possibility of the impossible. And they certainly reveal that man is not in control.

The Significance of the Curve
So, what does all this mean to you and me? I would mention at least three things.

First, the exponential curve is proof positive that Bible prophecy is true. The Lord has told us what He is going to do in the end times, and we had better pay attention to it.

Second, the fulfillment of prophecy related to the exponential curve shows that God is in control. Even when it appears that everything on this earth is out of control, we can be assured that God is orchestrating all the chaos to the ultimate triumph of His Son in history (Psalm 2).

Third, the exponential curve is very strong evidence that we are living on borrowed time. It points to the fact that Jesus is at the very gates of Heaven, waiting for the command of His Father to return.

A Warning
I want to conclude by issuing a strong warning against taking time for granted.

Many people are doing that today. They are saying, "I'm going to get serious about the Lord when I get out of school;" or "after I get a job;" or "after I'm established in my job;" or "after I get married;" or "after I get my children raised." Time is precious. There is very little left. Now is the time to get serious about the Lord.

Let me illustrate how critical the timing is by returning to the exponential curve. Suppose you put one bacterium in a jar, and assume it doubles every second. How many bacteria do you think would exist in the jar at the end of 30 seconds? The answer, incredibly, is 1,073,741,824. That's more than a billion in thirty seconds! That's the ferocity of the exponential curve.

Now, let's carry the illustration a step further. If at the end of 30 seconds the jar is half full, how much longer will it take for the jar to become full? The answer is one second (because it will double in the next second). That is the suddenness of the exponential curve.

That's what the Bible means when it says that people will be saying, "Peace and safety!" when "sudden destruction" will come upon them (1 Thessalonians 5:3).

Are you taking time for granted? Don't do it. Non-Christian, now is the time for salvation. Christian, now is the time for holiness.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Time is running out

I believe that our generation will be forced to make a decision to deny the Lord or face death. When my wife was pregnant with our 1st child (He is now 4 years old) I was journaling when I felt the Lord speak to me. The Lord said, that my child would be a martyr and that my child would be born at 7 lbs. 4 oz. So I journaled it three months before he was born.

I asked the doctor when the time came for my wife to give birth what he thought the weight would be. He said 8 pounds. He asked me and I told him, my son will be born at 7 lbs 4 oz.

Guess what? My son was born at 7lbs. 4 oz.

So I have wondered why the Lord would tell me this. I mean he could make my son be a martyr and never let me know. But because of the times we live in I believe that he told me this for many reasons. One is to prepare my heart for what is to come. 2. To prepare my son for his calling.

And as I have struggled with the idea that my son will most likely die as a martyr, I take joy in knowing that in order for him to die as a witness, he has to be saved. So this causes me to embrace an eternal perspective. My son is not saved yet, and I know that when the day comes it will come with mixed feelings for me. I will rejoice like I have never rejoiced in all of my life yet at the same time this will sober me up to the reality of what is yet to come.

I believe that suffering is the best place we as Christians could be because in that lonely and despairing place is where we realize what matters and what doesn’t matter. And I don’t say this ignorantly. My 2nd son Tobias (His name means God is Good) has almost died 3 different times. He was born as a micro preemie and was given a 2 1/2% change of surviving. Through all the suffering that my wife and I had to endure we learned that the Lord is faithful. Through the 5 different surgeries that my son Tobias had to endure (He is now 3 years old) we have learned that God is faithful.

I asked the Lord, what was the purpose of this trial with Tobias? And though he did not answer audibly, I felt the Lord say that he wanted to show me His faithfulness because when the time comes and my 4 year old becomes a martyr; I will need to look back and see the faithfulness of God.

Friends, the time is short, and it is high time to awaken from our sleep and to even become a little radical for the Lord. Because whether we want to believe this or not, either we will or our children will have to face persecution in such a way that we will have to make a decision for Christ. And that decision will be a life or death decision.

We are going to suffer, that is inevitable (and this coming from a pre-tribber…lol). My prayer is that when these things happen that we would not throw out everything that we know to be true about the Lord out the window, but that we would fall onto his faithfulness and look back at his track record in our personal lives. Things are accelerating its time to refocus, and regroup and pursue the One who has pursued us with all of our hearts. May the Lord return be it!
Until the nets are full,


Monday, September 11, 2006

Devotion - Charles Spurgeon

"Be ye separate." —2 Corinthians 6:17

The Christian, while in the world, is not to be of the world. He should be distinguished from it in the great object of his life. To him, "to live," should be "Christ." Whether he eats, or drinks, or whatever he does, he should do all to God's glory. You may lay up treasure; but lay it up in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, where thieves break not through nor steal. You may strive to be rich; but be it your ambition to be "rich in faith," and good works. You may have pleasure; but when you are merry, sing psalms and make melody in your hearts to the Lord. In your spirit, as well as in your aim, you should differ from the world. Waiting humbly before God, always conscious of His presence, delighting in communion with Him, and seeking to know His will, you will prove that you are of heavenly race. And you should be separate from the world in your actions. If a thing be right, though you lose by it, it must be done; if it be wrong, though you would gain by it, you must scorn the sin for your Master's sake. You must have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. Walk worthy of your high calling and dignity. Remember, O Christian, that thou art a son of the King of kings. Therefore, keep thyself unspotted from the world. Soil not the fingers which are soon to sweep celestial strings; let not these eyes become the windows of lust which are soon to see the King in His beauty—let not those feet be defiled in miry places, which are soon to walk the golden streets—let not those hearts be filled with pride and bitterness which are ere long to be filled with heaven, and to overflow with ecstatic joy.

Then rise my soul! and soar away,
Above the thoughtless crowd;
Above the pleasures of the gay,
And splendours of the proud;
Up where eternal beauties bloom,
And pleasures all divine;
Where wealth, that never can consume,
And endless glories shine.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Lord is returning

Look up because the Lord will be returning sooner than we all think. Don't get me wrong, I do not have any new inside information, but in my heart of hearts I feel the Lord is coming back for us; his bride. So I want to encourage all of us to look up.....His return is eminent.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Journal 8/17/06


There is an eerie feeling in the air. It feels like the calm before the storm. I know you are doing something behind the scenes right now with the EU and Israel, the West, the East, Al Qaeda, Iran, Syria, Javier Solana, the earth quakes, the floods, the death, etc. So I pray for wisdom Lord. I ask in the name of your son for wisdom to manage my affairs and to do the right things in these times that we live in.

I have heard that Iran may have nuclear weapons. And I have heard that the president of Iran believes that he will be the one who ushers in his (false) messiah through chaos and destruction. Most believe that August 22nd of this year is significant; is it? Lord, I have heard that there is a potential for a major war from Teheran. I have heard that there is a high probability that Iran will attack Israel with nukes within days. Is this true Lord? If it is, what do I do in light of this? How do I function as your child and as your ambassador to the world?

I have heard that this year on the night of 8/22/06 that the Muslims will be celebrating the journey of their (false) prophet Mohammed to Jerusalem and his ascension into heaven. I have heard that these followers have the perfect opportunity to enrich their celebration by throwing a nuclear attack on Israel. I don’t know if this is true Lord, but you do. And its you alone that I cling to Father. In Jesus name I pray….amen.

Here is a list of earthquakes listed in three columns. The 1st column is the year. The 2nd column are earth quakes above 6.0 and the third column is total earthquakes for the that year. So the 1st line reads in 1970 there were 130 earthquakes above 6.0 and there were a total of 4139 earth quakes in 1970.

1970 - 130 - 4139
1971 - 132 - 4507
1972 - 125 - 4548
1973 - 108 - 5175
1974 - 113 - 4996
1975 - 122 - 5318
1976 - 131 - 6308
1977 - 102 - 5775
1978 - 109 - 6428
1979 - 113 - 7161
1980 - 119 - 7348
1981 - 103 - 6829
1982 - 95 - 7747
1983 - 140 - 9842
1984 - 99 - 10493
1985 - 124 - 13115
1986 - 95 - 12718
1987 - 123 - 11290
1988 - 101 - 12711
1989 - 86 - 14585
1990 - 126 - 16612
1991 - 116 - 16516
1992 - 127 - 19548
1993 - 157 - 21476
1994 - 176 - 19371
1995 - 210 - 21007
1996 - 182 - 19938
1997 - 145 - 19872
1998 - 129 - 21688
1999 - 146 - 20832
2000 - 175 - 22309
2001 - 142 - 23534
2002 - 143 - 27454
2003 - 155 - 31419
2004 - 152 - 29140

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Journal 8/9/06

Why do people say they are Christians and then say that they don't believe in the bible. Someone told me today that they don't believe what the Bible says about certain things and then they tell me that they are a Christian. And when someone says that, what they are really saying is that they know more about a certain topic than God does. This breaks my heart but I am sure that this breaks the heart of God even more. It reminds me of the words of Jesus when he was looking over the city of Israel, "How I long to gather you to myself as a hen gathers her chicks, but you are unwilling".

Father I pray for this person at work that thinks she is a believer and yet rejects pretty much the entire bible. She only believes in the parts that she wants to and has created a god in her own image. Please Lord, break down the walls in her heart and allow her to see you for who you really are. In Jesus name I pray; Amen.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Journal 8/8/06


You are so good and so faithful. You are mighty and holy and I am thankful that you love me. Thank you for my family and friends. Thank you for my wonderful children. I pray that you would save all my kids, all four of them. I pray that you would use me as an instrument to lead them to you. I pray that they would love you and walk with you all the days of their lives and I pray that you would use them for your glory.

I pray for my wife and I ask that you would be her comfort and joy. I ask that you would lead her as she begins to homeschool soon. Give her insight and wisdom. Help her to faithful teach our kids to read and write and to memorize your word. Minister to my wife Lord.

And I pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Please bring peace to your people. In Jesus name I pray....Amen.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Journal 8/7/06


I see so many references in the scriptures about true and false converts. When I look at passages like the parable of the 10 virgins and or Matthew 24:42 I often wonder where I am at in light of these passages. Do I live a surrendered life to your Spirit? If I am to be honest, I would have to say no. So my question is, how do I get to that place and stay there? I want to be a full on Christian and yet I lack the power and motivation 99% of the time. Please talk to me Jesus.

Am I one of yours? I mean I think I am, but then there is so much sin in my life at times that I may just be deceiving myself. Am I deceiving myself Jesus? Is your Holy Spirit living in me? What more can I do to so that you have free reign in my life?

And when I look at all that is happening in Israel and the EU. When I look at Mr. Europe (Javier Solana) and see the potential of him being the anti-christ or at least the office he created being filled by the anti-christ, when I look at all these things; it causes me look into my heart of hearts and see where I am at. And as I look inside of me, I am scared to death because I see just how dirty and sinful I really am. Is there hope for me Jesus? You say your sheep hear your voice; and yet I am so unsure that I hear you. And all through out the New Testament you warn us to hear you. Well, you have my attention Lord, what would you like to say to me? I am here listening for you.


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Gotta Love it

Don’t you just love living in a fallen world? I do….NOT!!!! LOL. So I woke up this morning and the refrigerator stopped working. So I am like, ok, I can deal with this….but then I thought I just replaced the battery in my car last Tuesday and that was not in our budget. So now the fridge too….ok, we will manage. I go out to my car and there is a 6 inch crack in the windshield that I just replaced about 2 months ago. So I sit here laughing to myself because I know that we do not have the funds to fix these things. So we will see what happens. And then this Thursday we will find out if Tobias needs to have surgery. So if you can please pray for my family and I. We will manage as I am sure many people have had to deal with a broken fridge and cracked windshields. But it’s the little things like this that causes me to hunger and thirst for home. Not home here in this fallen place, but home with Jesus. I can’t even begin to imagine what that will be like. The law of thermo dynamics will no longer apply. Murphy’s Law will no longer be there. Wow, heaven is going to be great. Even though all this is annoying, I am grateful that at the end of the day, none of this stuff matters. The Lord is still good.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Love is inconvenient

This last Saturday night we had all the guys from youth group crash over at the church office. It was a time to play games and fellowship and to seek the Lord. And it was fun. The topic came up about love and how in our western culture we love through convenience only. If you scratch my back, then I will scratch yours. Yet the Lord was not that way. He loved us with the right kind of love. The love that he had for us was an inconvenient. Love is an action, it’s a verb and it is inconvenient. Jesus had to go out of his way to show us what this was. He left heaven and became a man and then he went out of his way and inconvenienced himself to pour himself into other people.

So the question came up. When was the last time I inconvenienced myself for another person. And as I thought about it, I kept coming back to the whole you scratch my back and I will scratch yours. Every time I have blessed someone, it has been because they blessed me. It has been convenient. And the Lord rebuked people like that in the book of Luke. He said that sinners do good to those who do good to them, but where is their reward? They have it in full.

How I want to be a man who would love in the same manner that Jesus did. I want to be a man who would inconvenience myself for others. I want to be a man who would show love by my actions and not just by my words. Words alone are so meaningless.

And this is a struggle for me, because though I do want to be that person; the one who inconveniences himself for others, at the same time, I don’t want to be inconvenienced at all. So now what? How do I become someone I am not when I don’t want to do the work that it takes to become that person?

For starters I can ask the Lord to burden my heart. What that means is that he will give me this burden for others. When the Lord places a burden on me; what that does is that it causes me to no longer be content serving myself only. I will have a burden; a weight on my shoulders that will tell me that I must do more. And once I have that weight there it can only be relieved by inconveniencing myself by serving the Lord through serving others.

After the Lord gives me this burden, I have to then make the choice to inconvenience myself. And what that means is that I have to choose to do things that I wont want to do. If I want to do it that is great, but if I don’t then it’s inconvenient and I have to choose to obey the Lord and do what I know is right. And that is the hard part. If I were not so selfish, this would be easier but the truth is that I am totally selfish and I want to be served. But this is not the road that the Lord has chosen for those who love him. He wants his kids to serve and therefore I must surrender all that I am to him so that I can fulfill this call that he has upon my life. This is the destiny of a child who belongs to the Lord. He must serve and that is inconvenient. But ultimately it is worth it. For when we do these things it will give the Lord opportunity to reach those who we are serving in a practical way.

So please pray for me. Pray that I would be a man who willingly inconveniences himself for others. I want to hear the words when I die and enter into the Lords rest, “Good job my faithful servant, enter into the rest of your Lord!”

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Is something I lack these days.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

This Saturday

Well, this Saturday night I get to have three mormon girls come over to tell me about their religion. Please pray for me. Here are some things that I have gotten in my studies of Mormonism. These are quotes from the leaders themselves. I actually have these in my Bible and I use them as cheat sheets. Pray that the Lord would bring to light the truth and that true conversion would happen. Thanks.....enjoy these quotes and their references.

Examining the Evidence of Mormonism

1. “I say to the whole world, receive the truth, no matter who presents it to you. Take up the Bible, compare the religion of the Latter-day Saints with it, and see if it will stand the test.”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 16, Page 46
2. If we cannot convince you by reason nor by the word of God, that your religion is wrong, we will not persecute you, but will sustain you in the privileges, guaranteed in the great Charter of American Liberty: we ask of you the same generosity –protect us in the exercise of our religious rights –convince us of our errors of doctrine, if we have any, by reason, by logical arguments, or by the word of God, and we will be ever grateful for the information, and you will ever have the pleasing reflection that you have been instruments in the hands of God of redeeming you fellow beings”

Orson Pratt
The Seer
Page 15
3. “Now hear it, O inhabitants of the earth, Jew and Gentile, Saint and sinner! When our father Adam came into the garden of Eden, he came into it with a celestial body, and brought Eve, one of his wives, with him. He helped to make and organize this world. He is MICHAEL, the Archangel, the ANCIENT OF DAYS! About whom holy men have written and spoken —He is our FATHER and our GOD, and the only God with whom we have to do. Every man upon the earth, professing Christians or non-professing, must hear it and will know it sooner of later.

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 1, page 50
April 9, 1852
4. “You believe Adam was made of the dust of this earth. This I do not believe, though it is supposed that it is so written in the Bible; but it is not, to my understanding. You can write that information to the States, if you please –that I have publicly declared that I do not believe that portion of the Bible as the Christian world do. I never did, and I never want to.”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 2, page 6

5. “Thou we have it in history that our father Adam was made of the dust of the earth, and that he knew nothing about his God previous to being made here, yet it is not so; and when we learn the truth we shall see and understand that he helped to make this world, and was the chief manager in that operation.”
Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 3, page 319
6. “After men have got their exaltations and their crowns –have become Gods, even the sons of God –are made Kings of kings and Lord of lords, they have the power then of propagating their species in spirit;
Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 6, page 275
7. “Mankind are here because they are the offspring of parents who were first brought here from another planet, and power was given them to propagate their species.”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 7, Page 285
8. “Now, remember from this time forth, and forever, that Jesus Christ was not begotten by the Holy Ghost.”
Brigham Young
Millennial Star
Volume 15, Page 770

False Prophecies

Paramount to determining whether or not a person really is a prophet of God, is the testing of the prophecies uttered in the name of the Lord. Deuteronomy 18:20-22 makes it clear that if a pretended “prophet” says anything in the name of the Lord, and the “thing follow not, nor come to pass” then that is a false prophecy. Believers in the true and living God are then counseled not to pay any attention to that false prophet.
9. “Brigham Young will become President of the United States”

Heber C. Kimbal
Journal of Discourses
Volume 5, Page 219
Sept. 6, 1856
10. “You see some classes of the human family that are black, uncouth, uncomely, disagreeable and low in their habits, wild, and seemingly deprived of nearly all the blessings of the intelligence that is generally bestowed upon mankind. The first man that committed the odious crime of killing one of his brethren will be cursed the longest of any one of the children of Adam. Cain slew his brother. Cain might have been killed, and that would have been the termination to that line of human beings. This was not to be, and the Lord put a mark upon him, which is the flat nose and black skin.”
Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 7, Page 290
October 9,1859
11. “The only men who become Gods, even the Sons of God, are those who enter into polygamy.”
Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 11, Page 269
April 19, 1866
12. “Do you think that we shall ever be admitted as a State into the Union without denying the principle of polygamy? If we are not admitted until then, we shall never be admitted.”
Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 11, Page 269
April 19, 1866
13. “I prophesy in the name of the Lord God of Israel, unless the United States redress the wrongs committed upon the Saints in the state of Missouri and punish the crimes committed by her officers that in a few years the government will be utterly overthrown and wasted, and there will not be so much as a potsherd left,”

Joseph Smith
History of the Church
Volume 5, Page 394
May 18, 1843
14. “God himself is increasing and progressing in knowledge, power, and dominion, and will do so, worlds without end.”

Wilford Woodruff
Journal of Discourses
Volume 6, Page 120
15. “The man Joseph, the husband of Mary, did not, that we know of, have more than one wife, but Mary the wife of Joseph had another husband.”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 11, Page 268
16. “Hence, the doctrine of a plurality of Gods is as prominent in the Bible as any other doctrine. It is all over the face of the Bible. It stands beyond the power of controversy.”

Joseph Smith
History of the Church
Volume 6, Page 474
17. “The fleshly body of Jesus required a Mother as well as Father. Therefore, the Father and Mother of Jesus, according to the flesh, must have been associated together in the capacity of Husband and wife; hence the Virgin Mary must have been, for the time being, the lawful wife of God the Father”

Orson Pratt
The Seer
Page 158
18. “The angel taught Joseph Smith those principles which are necessary for the salvation of the world”

Wilford Woodruff
Journal of Discourses
Volume 2, Page 196
19. “How did this state of things called Mormonism originate? We read that an angel came down and revealed himself to Joseph Smith and manifested unto him in vision the true position of the world in a religious point of view. He was surrounded with light and glory while the heavenly messenger communicated these things unto him”

John Taylor
Journal of Discourses
Volume 10, Page 127
20. “Baptism is just as essential to salvation, as Faith and Repentance. –Without being immersed in water no man can enter into the fulness of Celestial glory”

Orson Pratt
The Seer Page 255 1854
21. “Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do so, I promise that you will be damned”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 3, Page 266

Strange Teachings

22. “Does the earth conceive? It does. Where did the earth come from? From its parent earths. The earth is alive. If it was not, it could not produce.”

Heber C. Kimball
Journal of Discourses
Volume 6, Page 36
23. “no man or woman in this dispensation will ever enter into the celestial kingdom of God without the consent of Joseph Smith. From the day that the Priesthood was taken from the earth to the winding-up scene of all things, every man and woman must have the certificate of Joseph Smith, junior, as a passport to their entrance into the mansion where God and Christ are”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 7, Page 289
24. “Who can tell us of the inhabitants of this little planet that shines of an evening, called the moon? …when you inquire about the inhabitants of that sphere you find that the most learned are as ignorant in regard to them as the most ignorant of their fellows. So it is with regard to the inhabitants of the sun. Do you think it is inhabited? I rather think it is. Do you think there is any life there? No question of it; it was not made in vain. It was made to give light to those who dwell upon it, and to other planets; and so will this earth when it is celestialized.”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 13, page 271
25. “…What man or woman on the earth, what spirit in the spirit-world can say truthfully that I ever gave a wrong word of counsel, or a word of advice that could not be sanctioned by the heavens? The success which has attended me in my presidency is owing to the blessings and mercy of the Almighty. Why I have referred to this is to show you that I realize the importance of obeying the words of the Lord, which he gives through his acknowledged servants…”

Brigham Young
Journal of Discourses
Volume 12, Page 127 1867

Monday, June 12, 2006

Prayer Journal


Things seem so different these days. The fuzzy feelings of being a new believer are gone and those feelings have been gone for years. Life just ticks by day in day out without letting up at all. Why is it so difficult to be consistant? I wish I could just sit with you and be able to hold a normal conversation with you. I wish I could see you face to face. I can't wait until that day actually comes.....


Thursday, June 08, 2006

Hell's Best Kept Secret

This book that you can read in its entirety for free is one that has had the GREATEST influence in my life thus far with the exception of the Bible. It is written by Ray Comfort and I can validate from personal knowledge of him that he is a right on guy. The man loves the Lord and loves people. Anyways, the book is called “Hell’s best kept Secret”. I hope you will read and glean from it as much as I have. I have read it over 15 times and have listened to the tape and seen the video of this book numerous time. Enjoy!!!


Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The theory of evolution of the Coca Cola can.

Billions of years ago, a big bang produced a large rock. As the rock cooled, sweet brown liquid formed on its surface. As time passed, aluminum formed itself into a can, a lid, and a tab. Millions of years later, red and white paint fell from the sky, and formed itself into the words "Coca Cola 12 fluid ounces."

Of course, my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the Coca Cola can is made, there must be a maker. If it is designed, there must be a designer. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident, is to move into an intellectual free zone.

The banana -- the atheist's nightmare.

Note that the banana:

Is shaped for human hand
Has non-slip surface
Has outward indicators of inward content:
Green-too early,
Yellow-just right,
Black-too late.
Has a tab for removal of wrapper
Is perforated on wrapper
Bio-degradable wrapper
Is shaped for human mouth
Has a point at top for ease of entry
Is pleasing to taste buds
Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.

The person who thinks the Coca Cola can had no designer is:
___ A. Intelligent
___ B. A fool
___ C. Has an ulterior motive for denying the obvious

Did you know that the eye has 40,000,000 nerve endings, the focusing muscles move an estimated 100,000 times a day, and the retina contains 137,000,000 light sensitive cells?

Charles Darwin said,

"To suppose that the eye could have been formed by natural selection, seems I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree."

If man cannot begin to make a human eye, how could anyone in his right mind think that eyes formed by mere chance? In fact, man cannot make anything from nothing. We don't know how to do it. We can re-create, reform, develop . . . but we cannot create even one grain of sand from nothing. Yet, the eye is only a small part of the most sophisticated part of creation-the human body.

George Gallup, the famous statistician, said,

"I could prove God statistically; take the human body alone; the chance that all the functions of the individual would just happen, is a statistical monstrosity."

Albert Einstein said,

"Everyone who is seriously interested in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe—a spirit vastly superior to man, and one in the face of which our modest powers must feel humble."

A. Do you know of any building that didn't have a builder?

___ YES ___ NO

B. Do you know of any painting that didn't have a painter?

___ YES ___ NO

C. Do you know of any car that didn't have a maker?

___ YES ___ NO
If you answered "YES" for any of the above, give details:

Could I convince you that I dropped 50 oranges onto the ground and they by chance fell into ten rows of five oranges? The logical conclusion is that someone with an intelligent mind put them there. The odds that ten oranges would fall by accident into a straight line are mind-boggling, let alone ten rows of five.

A. From the atom to the universe, is there order?

___ YES ___ NO

B. Did it happen by accident?

___ YES ___ NO

C. Or, must there have been an intelligent mind?

___ YES ___ NO

D. What are the chances of 50 oranges falling by chance
into ten rows of five oranges? ______________________
If you answered "YES" for any of the above, give details:

The declaration "There is no God" is what is known as an absolute statement. For an absolute statement to be true, I must have absolute knowledge.

Here is another absolute statement: "There is no gold in China."

What do I need to have for that statement to be true?
A. No knowledge of China.

___ YES ___ NO

B. Partial knowledge of China.

___ YES ___ NO

C. Absolute knowledge of China.

___ YES ___ NO

"C" is the correct answer. For the statement to be true, I must know that there is no gold in China, or the statement is incorrect. To say "There is no God," and to be correct in the statement, I must be omniscient.

I must know how many hairs are upon every head, every thought of every human heart, every detail of history, every atom within every rock...nothing is hidden from my eyes...I know the intimate details of the secret love-life of the fleas on the back of the black cat of Napolean's great-grandmother. To make the absolute statement "There is no God." I must have absolute knowledge that there isn't one.

Let's say that a circle represents all the knowledge in the entire universe, and let's assume that you have an incredible 1% of all that knowledge. Is it possible, that in the knowledge you haven't yet come across, there is ample evidence to proved that God does indeed exist?

If you are reasonable, you will have to say, "Having the limited knowledge that I have at present, I believe that there is no God." In other words, you don't know if God exists, so you are not an "atheist," you are what is commonly known as an "agnostic." You are like a man who looks at a building, and doesn't know if there was a builder.

The man who sees a building and doesn't know if there was a builder is:
___ A. Intelligent
___ B. A fool
___ C. Has an ulterior motive for denying the obvious

Perhaps you have questions that hold you back from faith. First, almost every question you have about suffering humanity etc., can be adequately answered.

Second, we have faith in plenty of things we don't understand. Did you understand the mechanics of television before you turned it on? Probably not. You took a step of faith, turned it on, and after it worked, understanding how it worked wasn't that important. We accept that there are unseen television waves right in front of our eyes. We can't see them because they are invisible. For them to manifest, we need a receiver, then we can enjoy the experience of television.

God is not flesh and blood. He is an eternal Spirit-immortal and invisible. Like the television waves, He cannot be experienced until the "receiver" is switched on. Here is something you will find hard to believe: Jesus said, "He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him" (John 14:21).

Either that is true or it isn't. Jesus Christ says that He will manifest Himself to anyone who obeys Him. Approach the subject the same way you approached your first television set. Just take a small step of faith. If it works, enjoy it, if it doesn't, forget it.

Or have you an ulterior motive? Could it be that the "atheist" can't find God, for the same reason a thief can't find a policeman? Could it be that your love for sin is clouding your good judgment? If the Bible is true, and Jesus Christ has "abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the Gospel," then you owe it to yourself just to check it out. Here is how to do that:

With a tender conscience,
check this list of the Ten Commandments: Have I always loved God my Creator with all my heart, mind, soul and strength?
Have I made a god in my own image�a god to suit myself?
Have I ever used God's name in vain?
Have I kept the Sabbath holy?
Have I always honored my parents implicitly?
Have I murdered (God considers hatred as murder)?
Have I committed adultery (including premarital sex and lust)?
Have I stolen (the value is irrelevant)?
Have I lied (including fibs and these questions)?
Have I coveted (been greedy or materialistic)?

____YES ___NO

___ YES ___NO
___ YES ___NO
___ YES ___NO

___ YES ___NO

___ YES ___NO

___ YES ___NO
___ YES ___NO

___ YES ___NO

___ YES ___NO

If you have even broken one Law, then you have sinned against God and therefore will "surely die," for the "wages of sin is death."

We are all guilty of breaking the Commandments. Listen to the voice of your conscience, and let it remind you of some of the sins of the past. We are not perfect as we are commanded to be (Matthew 5:48), neither is our heart pure. On Judgment Day our transgressions will be evidence of our shame. Think of it: God has seen every sin we have ever committed. We share our thought-life with Him.

We are guilty of violating His Law a multitude of times, yet if we repent, God can forgive us because Jesus stepped into the courtroom 2.000 years ago and paid the fine for us.

His death on the cross satisfied the Law we so blatantly transgressed, and at the same time demonstrated how much God loves us—"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." His shed blood on the cross can make you clean in the sight of a holy though you have never sinned.

God doesn't want you to go to Hell. Please, forget your arguments, repent and put your trust in Jesus and be saved from God's wrath. Make Psalm 51 your prayer, then read your Bible daily and always obey what you read; God will never let you down. Thank you for taking the time to read this booklet.

Adapted from God Doesn't Believe in Atheists
by Ray Comfort (Living Waters)