I can hear you calling out; searching for me. You do not sit there waiting for me to return to you; you passionately pursue me in a love driven state. You seem panic stricken in your search. Why? What are you so concerned about? I mean it’s not that I am lost. I can hear your voice it’s faint but I can hear it. You are shouting out; not in anger, but so I can hear you, “I love you Bill; where are you!” “You love me? Of course you love me; you have told me this my whole life; why are you telling me this again?” I can hear your voice in the distance, it sounds like you are weeping as you call out my name.
Why are you calling me? Am I lost? I can't be; I have known you for 15 years now. Yet I find that your voice though faint is as clear as day. You are searching for me. "Bill, where are you?"
"I am right here!" I say in response. "I am right here; can't you see me?" But it is not my physical body that you are searching for. You are looking for my heart. My heart has gotten lost and you search for it as my heart is who I am. “I am right here; can’t you see me? Can’t you hear me?”
I start to sob and weep as your voice gets further and further away. I start to mourn as I feel as if you have lost me. “You are going the wrong way! I am over here, turn around; TURN AROUND!!!” Yet your voice disappears into the night. It is now that I see that I am an utter mess, I am totally lost as I strain to hear your voice; yet you are no where to be found. “I am lost!” I start sobbing as I contemplate where I am at. I am in utter darkness. And yet I did not know I was lost until I heard your distant voice start to fade. I start to mourn with sounds unbearable for the ear to comprehend. My eyes fill with tears as my heart weeps and sobs with the horror of realizing that I cannot hear you; even more so, you cannot hear me.
Words flee me as the pain inside causes me to utter out groans that are too weak to hear. I am no longer audible. I whimper a cry of death as I lay here in my hopeless state. Like a wounded animal about to become prey; I lay here lifeless in total despair. Words flee my mouth as I whimper, sob and mourn.
As all hope is lost, I feel a hand touch me. “There you are Bill. I have looked all over for you and at last I have found you again.”
I look up trembling as I wipe the tears from my face. “Lord, how did you find me? I mean when I was shouting out to you, you could not hear me. Yet when I am unable to speak, because of the despair in my heart it is then that you hear and find me? I don’t understand.”
“My son, your heart is a fragile instrument. It is not like any other instrument on earth. You see my son, with other instruments you have to strike the chord in order for it to be heard. But the heart is different; the more you strum it, the harder it is to hear. And though you think you can be heard the harder you strum; the truth is that the more your march to the beat of your own heart, the further away from me you get. But once you stop strumming; it is then that the strings of your heart start to sing. It is at that point that I can hear the melodies of mourning that pours from within your soul. When your soul began to pour out the song of surrender; it was easy to find you. And now I have you my son. I have you and you are safe!”
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?
I, the LORD, search the heart….”
"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment."
