Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Romans 5:1-2

ROMANS 5:1-2

"Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand & rejoice in hope of the glory of God."

When you have the word "THEREFORE" in the Bible, you need to find out what it is there for. So we see that in the 1st three chapters, Paul proves to us just how depraved we really are. But then he also shows us how we are justified. The book of Romans is a book of theology.

This book IS the Gospel. Any scholar or great Bible teacher will concur with this view. The book of Romans proves to us just how we were reconciled to God. It shows us that we are all guilty of sin, from Jew to Gentile. Then, Paul shows us how we are freely justified by God's grace, how we have received redemption, how we've received propitiation.
"Therefore, having been, or being justified…"

What this is actually saying is that we are currently justified. The "having been" speaks of some thing that has been done. When Jesus went to the cross, He said, "It is finished", then He died. When he died, our sin was placed upon Jesus, therefore we have been declared righteous, we are justified. It is a finished work, it is done. "Therefore we are justified."

The word "Justified", means we are declared righteous. We are looked upon as a righteous person. Our sin is not counted against us. We are now holy & sinless in the eyes of God. The word justified, just & justification, all have the same root word, "JUST". The book of Romans is all about how we are justified. The just shall live by faith.

You can break the word JUSTIFICATION down to say this:


Therefore, in my current position as a believer, I have been declared righteous. One of the main themes in the book of Romans is, "The just shall live by faith". You can find scriptures relating to this in Habakkuk 2:4, Romans 1:17, Galatians 3:11 & in Hebrews 10:38.

If you read the book of Romans, it will tell about the just. The book of Galatians tells you how you shall live & the book of Hebrews teaches by faith. So between the books of Romans, Galatians & Hebrews, you have the theme, "The just shall live by faith." If you read & follow those three books, you will have a very intimate & successful walk with God.

Now how am I justified? "By FAITH." The word Faith is defined in Hebrews 11:1. What is faith? We are justified by faith, in what?

We are justified by faith in the finished work of Calvary. We are justified by the cross of Jesus Christ. That is the only way we are justified.

So we are justified as we, by faith, receive what Jesus did for us. When we believe that He died & rose again, when we see & comprehend that his death was an atonement for our sins. Not only did His death & resurrection cover our sins, but by that, we are forgiven, Sanctified, Justified & now we have peace with God. Funny that FAITH is a fruit of the Spirit, (1Corinthians 12:9) which means that FAITH is a gift from God, which means that God give's you the faith that you currently have. So we can't even boast in our great faith.

"We have" Who is this person? We? The word "WE" refers to people who are under the blood, believers. That means us! We have… not we had & no longer have, but rather, we have peace with God. We have the Lord Jesus Christ as our redeemer, as our Savior. Not only did He forgive us our sins, but he made a way for us to approach God the Father.

The word "peace", is the same Greek word that is used in Luke 14:32 & Acts 12:20. It speaks of peace from war; to bind together that, which had been separated; to reconcile. It speaks of appeasing relationships. Why would man, why would human beings need to have our relationship restored with God? When did our relationship with the Lord sever?

(Genesis chapter 3, read it) Notice that in verse 8 that Adam & Eve hid themselves from the Lord's presence. Also, because of this sin, man was cast out of the presence of God, out of the Garden of Eden (verse 24).

The Lord show's compassion on Adam & Eve & even hint's to the sacrifice of Jesus when He made tunics of skin. In Romans, we now are able to enter into the Lord's presence because we are justified, because of the sacrifice of Jesus. We now have peace with our Maker.

Ephesians 2:14-18, Jesus is our peace. (verse 18 shows the Trinity again).

The word "with" in the Greek means facing. So you can read this text, "we have peace facing God." This same word is in John 1:1 – 2. "The word was with God; The word was facing God; The word was face to face with God."

The phrase "Through our Lord Jesus Christ" means just what it says. Just like in John 14:6. The only way to the Father, to Heaven, the only way to be forgiven & cleansed is through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Remember the night before Jesus was to be killed. The night before He was murdered, He was in prayer. He asked God the Father to let this cup pass. He said that He really didn't desire to go through this. But He also said that this was the very reason that He came into the world. He said let Your will be done Father, not mine. He said this three different times. (Mark 14:32 – 42) So as we all know, Jesus went to the cross, so there must not have been any other way. So that means that everything that we do in the Spirit, must be done through Jesus Christ.

The word "have" is in the perfect tense in the Greek. Which means it's permanent. That is real important, the Greek language is really strong & detailed. I know the perfect tense doesn't mean anything to you, it doesn't mean much to me either. I just know that the "Perfect Tense" means Permanence. So what is the text saying?

"through whom also we permanently have continual unstoppable access into His presence."

It is never not there for us. You have continual free access into God's presence at all times because of the blood of Jesus Christ, because of the work of the cross, its continual, its permanent, it will not stop.


The word of God declares that we have continual access to Him, regardless of how we feel, regardless of what we have done. Regardless if we have just sinned. Our feelings will lie to us, Satan will try to deceive us.

The word "access" in the Greek means to obtain access into the throne room of a King. Having authority to go somewhere where you normally wouldn't have authority to go. Like a peasant coming into the presence of a King. He didn't have access, there were things there that were stopping him. There were guards there.

Historically, the word "access" is speaking of a third party. There is the King on the throne, there is me the peasant & then there is the third party who would take me, who would clothe me, & would put royal garments on me & prepare me. The third party would clothe me & prepare me & then bring me & present me to the King.

That was my access. This guy who had access would come & take me off the street, give me a bath & clean me up. He would dress me properly for the Kings house. Then he would take me in there. That is exactly what we see here in this text. (Read Romans 5:1 – 2).

We see the throne of God. We see Jesus Christ coming as a man. We see Jesus Christ paying the price for us. We see Jesus Christ clothing us with His righteousness. We are justified & declared righteous in His sight. So this is what we have here, we have access through Jesus Christ.

So Jesus is saying here, "You have access through me, hold my hand, follow me, I am going to take you in there. I am going to present you as perfect too. I am going to present you to the King & now you have free permanent access to come in at any time."

Also, you can see a glimpse of the Trinity here. You can see, God the Father as the King. In order for us to get into His presence, we need to be washed by the blood of Jesus.

The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity. He is the one who draws us to the Son, who in turn takes us to the Father. It is so amazing to see the work of the God Head. This is what you call the manifold grace of God. You have access by faith. By faith in forgiveness, in the blood, in Jesus. So you get to go by faith into this grace by which we stand (Zechariah 3:1-5).

Not only do we have access, but the Lord does something else to. He cleans us up. He removes our sin. When He went to the cross, ALL, I repeat, ALL of our sins were placed upon Him. Now the Holy Spirit will clean you up. You come to Jesus as you are & He forgives you. Jesus then places everyone of your sins upon Himself. The Holy Spirit then takes the blood of Jesus & starts to wash you. You are then able to go before the King. You have been not only cleansed from you sin, but you have also been delivered from your sin.


Can you see the difference here? It is really important to realize the difference. Before you were a Christian, you had to sin, you were a sinner. Now that you are a believer, you are no longer bound to sin. You have been set free, by the Son of God. "Whoever the Son sets free is free indeed."

You don't have to sin anymore. You need to know this. God is not satisfied with you just being forgiven. He wants to have fellowship with you. He want's to present you as SINLESS, so we need to SIN-LESS.

As you start to mature in the things of God, you will start to be convicted of sin. Which means that after you have sinned, it will not be pleasurable. That is because you now have the living God living inside of you. He wants to keep you from sinning. Not only does He want to keep you from sinning, but He has given you the power to stop. Remember that Jesus said, "It is FINISHED".

The word "Grace" is like a diamond, it is pretty much salvation. There are many different assets different colors, to the word Grace. There are many facets to the grace of God. We have been saved by grace. When we say we have been saved by grace, we can automatically turn to the text found in Ephesians 2:8.

In that word GRACE, that manifold grace of God, there are different facets & sides to Grace. It all pours over into that word SALVATION. That deliverance from our present state. We have been DELIVERED!!!

The word "stand" is in the perfect tense. Again, this means that I don't just get to stand there once & not anymore. It means permanence. It's in the grace in which we permanently stand.

The word "stand" means, to stand fast, to remain, to abide, to continue. Which means you are not going nowhere. I'm not going nowhere. How do I stand as a man of God? How do I stand before the Lord? How am I going to make it through this life? By grace. Grace is what will keep you standing, it's grace. It is not about you. It is totally about Him, the Lord. It has nothing to do with you. Nothing at all. We stand by grace. It is His work that God Himself did. All that we do is receive it & say thank you.

The word "Rejoice" means to rejoice, to worship, to give thanks. It means that we can thank God for the Hope that He Himself gave to us. We can worship Him in song, in deeds, by our actions, through prayer. We can shout out loud to him in thanksgiving. We can raise our hands to him. We can rejoice that we are able to approach the Living God. We can enter into His presence, not because of who we are. Not because of what we did, but we can enter into His presence because of what He did for us. We can enter because of who He is. This just causes me to rejoice.

The word "Hope" is a real hope. It is not that we hope it will not rain, or we hope that we get a raise. That is more like a wish. We wish that we will get a raise. When we hope in eternal things, we will never be let down. When our hope, our faith is in Jesus, we are as good as there. Our hope to get to Heaven is by Jesus Christ. We WILL get there, it is a done deal. So hope means that it is going to happen. It is done. We have access into the Glory of God.

The word "Glory of God" means the presence of God. We can enter into the Glory of God. What a blessing that is.

"Who are we that God is mindful of us?"

So now as believers, we can & do, have that intimate relationship with God. He will speak with you, He will conform you into His image, into the likeness of His Son Jesus. Just sit back & let Him work in your Life. He will do things that you never even dreamed of. He did with me & now I am married. The Lord is just too good!!!


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Journal 12-11-07


Please help me find my way back into your everlasting arms. I desire to be in that place where we are together as one. I desire to be consumed by you; embraced by your strong hand, I desire to be in your arms. My heart should be so hidden in you Jesus that a person should have to seek you in order to find me. Will you bring me to that place? I long for intimacy with you Lord. You are incredible yet I find myself bound by sin and the chains tug at me causing me to lose heart. And sin keeps me from being in that place that I desperately desire. I desire you and I don’t want to settle for anything less.

Yet I know that in your faithfulness towards me that you have already delivered me from the bondage of sin. You have freed me and once I am free, I am no longer a slave to sin but to righteousness. Help me to live out practically what you have desired all these years for me to live. Help me to walk in your steps, totally aligned with you as I simply follow after you Lord.

Oh the freedom and peace that comes with walking in union with Jesus. Oh take heart my soul and listen to the words from my lips. How long will you rebel and stray from the One who loves you with a devotion beyond comprehension? How long will you run from the grace that gives you the peace you desire? Run, yes, but not away from the Lord but rather run into the arms of Jesus. Flee youthful lust and call upon the Lord out of a pure heart, with a pure conscience with those who call upon the Lord in the same manner. Pursue the One who has pursued you and subdued the sin nature that weighs you down.

Oh God, you are beautiful. Your holiness is pure, noble, right, and sweet. You are wonderful, incredible, beyond comprehension and you love me. Thank you for loving a man like me. Help me to love you with all of my heart, mind, body and soul. In Jesus name, please hear this prayer and lead me into your ways.


Monday, December 10, 2007

Journal 12-10-07

It’s been awhile since I have written anything in here. It has been a long season. My 2 year old daughter had pneumonia over Thanksgiving weekend and was in the hospital and then all of us have been sick since then off and on. So it has been a long month and the bills are piling up but God is faithful. I know he will come through as he always has and I am grateful that he has come through so far. My daughter is fine. The rest of my family is fine now but what a long month.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Journal 11/21/07

I don't even know how many times have I found myself doing those things in which You do not delight Lord. Oh, how I hate my past. I have so much regret and when I stand before you on the day of judgment, I know I will have no words to defend myself. I will have no excuses. All I can do is ask for mercy through the merits of Jesus through His sacrificial death on the cross on my behalf.

Heaven is Your throne O Lord and earth is Your footstool. How I am so grateful for that Father. You have all things in your control. Time and again you show yourself faithful to me yet each time I doubt and struggle with believing in your faithfulness to provide for me. When will I simply trust you even when things appear as if they are against me? I think about Isaac in the OT when he lost his son Jacob. He was so distressed and then when he lost Benjamin he said, "All is against me!" Yet things were not against him at all, they were divinely orchestrated in his favor. He just could not see behind the scenes at what you were doing.

Yet how many times do I cry out those same words, "All is against me!" Why do I declare that when you declared in Romans, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" The truth is that you love me and I need to simply embrace your unhindered devotion to me.

Isaiah 62:5 says, "For as a young man marries a virgin, so shall your sons marry you; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you."

I can't believe that you actually rejoice over me. I mean, I do believe it, but I am amazed at that. You know where I have been, and in those places of depravity there is no rejoicing, yet you rejoice over me and I am grateful Jesus. I don't deserve you and have been an absolutely horrible ambassador for you. Instead of representing your kingdom in this land, I have taken the gods of this world and have made this world my home. I have indulged in everything this world offers and I have made my bed in hell.

Can you still use me for the advancement of your kingdom in this land? Am I still usable Jesus? What do I need to do to be used by you and to make what is left of this life that you have given me useful for eternity? What can I do to make my life count in eternity?

I was talking with a friend last night and he really brought clarity to me. If your grace doesn't cover all my sins then you don't have any grace at all……and the truth is that your grace does cover all of my sins. OH THANK YOU JESUS! I am so grateful that I am one of your children. Am so thankful that you pursued me with the passion in which you did. Thank you for loving me Jesus. Thank you for life and life more abundantly. You are the greatest thing that has EVER happened to me….. I love you Jesus.


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Journal 10/30/07

Why am I afraid of the judgment to come Jesus? It is because I know where I have been and I know that I have been in some really dark places spiritually. And though I can move forward, I still have to face you on that day over the places that my heart has taken me. I will be held accountable for the things that I have freely indulged in. I am terrified of that day Jesus. Because the reality is that when the time comes for me to give an account of what I have done in the body whether good or bad, I will come up empty handed and I have no excuse at all.

Please forgive me Jesus and have mercy on me……..

Please unveil my eyes so that I can see you Jesus and unveil my heart so I can know you intimately.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Journal 10/29/07

What is happening to me? Why do I feel as if sudden destruction is about to happen? Is there going to be a catastrophe that hits close to home? Are these my last moments here on this planet? If these were to be my last moments on this planet what be my last words? What would I desire for my last words?

Hmmm… how about: I take a leap of faith into the arms of Jesus for it is by his grace alone that I can come to him boldly as he is my desire.

Or, how about, “Please go after Jesus with all that you have; as he is running the race before mankind and is now carrying me; for into His hands I have committed my Spirit.”

Or, “Jesus, take me home, my pilgrimage is over!”

I think my words will be something like this, “Finally I see the finish line is that Jesus? FREEDOM!!!!!!”

Though I do have this fear that I may be one of those people who acknowledge the Lord with my lips yet deny him by my actions. I do have a fear that he will say to me on that day, “Depart from me, for I know you not you worker of iniquity!”

Oh, God, please don’t ever say those horrible words to me; I beg you to have pity on me. I am a total failure in every aspect of life when I look at it from your perspective. I am a liar, a murder, an adulterer, a blasphemer, and the list goes on and on and on and on. Yet I do believe that it is the work that you have done that will cause me to enter into your presence. Is there un-repented sin in my life Jesus? Let that not be so! Far be it for me to live in separation from you. I need to live in total dependence upon you in every part of my life.

I need and desire you Jesus. Please take my life and make it yours. Please take me and do your work in me. Justify me Jesus! Sanctify me and please bring me into glory where I can bask in your incomprehensible glory and companionship.

I am unclean Jesus, I am unholy and I am depraved, and I am a slave to sin which you have freed me from. I am the source of the problem. You take the chains off and then I put them right back on again. How do I run from me? How do I repent of who I am? If I am the source of my sinful behavior, how do I change so that I no longer do the things that my wicked heart desires? How can I stop sinning if that is who I am? I am carnal, sold under sin. Why is this so difficult to figure out. I mean, I battle to do the simplest of things when it comes to holiness and yet I so naturally make my bed in vomit as sin is natural for me. Holiness is unnatural and it takes so much work.

Oh I am so grateful that I am covered by the blood of Jesus. You are the one who purifies and washes me. I cannot cleanse any part of me and I am unclean. You alone can wash me by your Spirit. Please send the Helper to help me Jesus. You made a promise to me that you would send him and not leave me as an orphan. Please open my eyes to see the Helper and to do as he says. I am so tired of grieving the Spirit of God. Please have mercy on me Jesus.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Journal 10/26/07

The winds have tossed us to and fro as they blow our lives in every direction. I sob as I see the sky turn red and wake up to face another day of my people ignoring the Lord. Oh the abyss awaits for all of humanity who do not know you Jesus. Why will we as a people not surrender ourselves to you? Why are we so deceived? Why are we so hard hearted?

We are self destructing and we don’t even see it. Why are we so blind? Why do we call evil good and good evil? Oh Jesus have mercy on us as a people. We are so wicked and yet in the hardness of our hearts we don’t see what is happening to us as a people.

I pray that you would humble us and causes us whether great or small to see reality. Let us see that you are real, that you will not be mocked and that you still desire to pour out your grace and mercy upon all of humanity. Please help us to see the truth. Help us to repent and turn from our wicked ways. Help us to see you in your glory as you are the risen Christ, the Son of the God Most High.

Help us not to trust in wealth or the military, or technology, but to trust in you only. We think we are so sophisticated yet we are not. We are simply carnal, perverse, and totally depraved.

Jesus, please cleanse our land of unrighteousness and wash us with your Spirit. Please forgive me as I am just as guilty if not even more guilty than my people. Have mercy on us Jesus and bring revival to our land once again.

In Jesus name I ask and petition you my King, Amen

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Journal 10/24/07

So often we equate the love of God with mercy, and tenderness and we at times willingly forget that the Lord is a God of justice. He will not tolerate wickedness for too long and there comes a point in time when the sins of the land reach the heavens and become a stench in the nostrils of God.

In Genesis God judged the city of Sodom and Gomorra because the outcry of wickedness was so great that it reached heaven and when the Lord visited the city all the men young and old had the desire to rape the Lord (Like that will ever happen!). So the Lord blinded them and got Lot out and destroyed that city.

In Revelation, 19:11, it reads:

11 Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. 12 His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. 13 He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. 14 And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. 15 Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. 16 And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

Notice verse 15, “15 Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God”

Jesus is going to judge the world for its sins as he cleanses this world of its sin and makes war with the enemies of God.

Now this is speculation only, but I find it interesting at the same time that the governor of California signs into law SB 777 forcing homosexual behavior as acceptable in the schools that the fires start breaking out uncontrollably in the State and over 1 million people need to be evacuated THUS FAR.

Then we have our demon-crats in Washington rushing through the ENDA bill again placing the homo, Bi, and lesbian sexual behavior as federally protected behaviors.

Is it me or is there a pattern here? Judgment was placed on Sodom and Gomorra with fire and brimstone when homosexual behavior became mainstream and the focus in politics. And as it were then, so it is now, and now California is on fire…..

I am sure people will disagree with me and that is ok, it may not be long that I can proclaim this here in America but at least for the moment I do indeed have the freedom to share my opinion.

And I have not even touched on Zachariah’s prophesy against all those who decide to split up Jerusalem that God would come against them; and here we are having Condalisa Rice publicly saying that they want divide up the city of Jerusalem and if Israel will not agree, then the USA will publicly blame Israel.

I fear that we are only seeing the beginning of devastation that faces America and the rest of the world for that matter. I do pray that God would show mercy once again, but at the same time, God is a righteous judge who judges in holiness. I believe that if I am to live out my life without dying prematurely that I will be living when the rapture takes place. We are that close and I believe that the world as we know it will no longer be “business as usual” but that we are jumping towards the end of the age.

You can call me crazy, or a right wing nut, but I do believe that we are about to experience something so intense that nothing in history will be able to compare with what is to come. Please make sure that you are spiritually right with your Creator and that you are walking with Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith.

Bill Scott, Sr.

Friday, October 19, 2007


“If sinners are to be damned, let them leap over our bodies to do so”

Charles H. Spurgeon

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Journal 10/18/07

There comes a day when we must all face our Creator and give an account for the things done in the body. I fear that the things I have done in the body may have offended the Creator of my soul and if not for his unbending grace and love towards me, I would feel totally hopeless. Oh how I cling to the mercy of God. Jesus, please have pity on me the worst of all hypocrites and sinners.

Jesus, please forgive me for ALL the things that I have done in this body of mine that have shamed your name. Please have mercy on me and use me for your glory. Please take my life and make it yours. I really do regret the things of my past whether I did it in the recent past or in the distant past, I regret not surrendering my all to you.

I plead with all of you who read my blog; PLEASE give your all to Jesus today. Don’t let another minute go by where you are not walking in perfect communion with the Master of your soul. Jesus is worthy, do you hear me? He is worthy of your life. He shed his blood and redeemed us and has given us power over those sins that entangle us. Don’t live another moment unless you are living in perfect communion with Jesus, the son of God.


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Dear Jesus

Dear Jesus,

I wanted to write you and share with you my heart
Although you already know it, I still want to start
For you alone are worthy of all honor and praise
My Jesus, I want to serve you all of my days.

My past has been ugly, it has been a big mess
As I’ve boasted empty words and still remained faithless
Yet you have remained faithful; for you never shift
You have poured out your love and your grace as a gift

This is my love letter to you my Lord
I desire to praise you as you are my reward
How can words ever explain just how great you are?
Words simply cannot; even wise words from afar.

I look at creation and the work of your hands
I stand back in awe as you’ve numbered the sand
I look at the stars, and galaxies far away
You spoke them into existence as they are there on display.

I look at redemption and the good news you bring
I start rejoicing as I dance and I sing
You are so wonderful, yet I still don’t have a clew
All I know is that I need so much more of you.

The passion you have towards me is amazing
When I experience you Jesus, I cannot stop praising
You are the Great I AM, the Mighty God and King
You rejoice over me every night as you sing

Oh Jesus I love you, yet not as much as I could
For my heart has been hardened and that is not good
Please help me to surrender to you alone
As I bow down before you; as you sit on your throne


Monday, October 08, 2007

Journal 10/8/07

I hate not being with you, Jesus. I want to be with him in eternity so badly. I want to live in total abandonment to Your will yet the flesh prevents me from reaching the fullness of this desire. And I hate my flesh. I hate the fact that I love the flesh at times and hate it at other times. I hate this body of death that I live in. I want you Jesus….I really do. I want the glorified body so that I can take in your glory and behold you in your majesty. I hunger for you Jesus, I need you, I desire you, I MUST HAVE YOU!!!!!!

Please conform me into your image as you alone are my hope and desire…….

Friday, October 05, 2007

Journal 10/5/07

No matter what happens, the Lord Jesus Christ is good….always remember that. There is nothing better in life than total surrender to His wonderful will and when we finally realize that and finally surrender, oh how blessed that is.

Is today the day that I finally surrender my everything to the Master of all things? Oh Jesus, use my life to bring you glory. For too long I have shamed you as you know where I have been. You know that my lips praise you continually yet my heart has been so far from you. But I repent, I again come to you in surrender and I ask that you would take the shackle of sin off of my life. Why is sin so enticing and though I know it brings death, why do I bite it? I know that I will regret the things I have done, but its too late to change them Jesus. All I can do is live for you and your glory now. Please forgive me for the bad things I have done and the good things that I have not done. Please cleanse me from the inside and make me a brand new creature.

I am so frustrated with the hardness of my heart Lord. Please deliver me from self and from the oppression of the enemy. Help me to no longer live for the pleasures of this world. I don’t want to be a friend of the world because in doing so I have become your enemy and I HATE being in that place. I want to be on your team and an enemy of the world. I want to make my bed in heaven, not in hell and yet I have done the contrary. Oh Jesus have mercy on me. In your loving kindness and tender mercy, please over look and forgive my transgressions, iniquity, rebellion and sin.

I do love you Jesus, and yet I fear that I am not even saved, so I am left with trust. I have to simply trust you that your word is true and that you love me and that you are faithful to save me, because I do believe that you alone are the only way to heaven. And so I trust you contrary to my feelings that you will indeed save me and take me home.

I want to have the passion of Paul and Peter, and all the other saints of old who gave themselves to you in total abandonment. Will I ever be that way?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


I have not really written much these days......don't know why.


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Journal 9/11/07

Oh how I want to see your face Jesus. I long for you. You are so beautiful and I want to behold you in all your glory. I am desperate for you Jesus. I want to be embraced by you and I want to embrace you. I cant wait until the day that I can receive a physical hug from you. That day will be so amazing to me.

Your grace overwhelms me in a good way as you simply love on me. Why Lord? Why do you love me so? Why did you create me as I am and in this day and age? One thing I know and I pray I never forget is that I realize that I need you more now than I have ever needed you in the past. I cant take another breath without you. When everything is stripped away from me and I am left here standing totally bare with only you, that will suffice. You are what I need and all I need.

I am so tired of living the American dream with the house, the two cars, the 2.3 children and white picked fence. I feel as if there is so much more that you are calling me to and I desire to align myself in that calling. Are you calling me to the nations of the world Father? I want to go wherever you take me. Would you want me to move to India? China? Where do you want me? Do I stay in Portland? I cant live the shallow American lifestyle anymore, it is so depressing and there are really no eternal rewards.

What is it that you want me to do? Please pour out your Spirit upon me and give me your heart. I want to be a man that goes after you with all of my heart and a man who loves people as you love them. Please do that work in my life Jesus. And please align my wife and kids with your heart as well so that we are one unit walking in the calling that you have given to us.

You are worthy of all honor and praise Jesus. You are worthy of brilliant majesty as you are the King of kings and you reign in righteousness. You show mercy to a 1000 generations and you have shown mercy to me time and time again. You alone are the God who delivers me from the wretch that I am.

Oh how I sense you calling me away unto yourself. I sense that you are in the process more than ever of chasing me down and bringing into that place where you are my substance and my end. You Spirit is chasing me and I refuse to run because your splendor is awesome to take in. I want all of you. I want to wrap my arms around you. I want you, I MUST HAVE YOU!!!! You are so incredible and I am blown away at your compassion and tenderness.

Take me fully Jesus. I am yours and want to remain with you forever.


Monday, September 10, 2007

Journal 9/10/07

If today was my day to die, what legacy would I leave behind? Would I have lived to honor the Lord or would I have dragged his name through the mud? Will my kids know who Jesus is? Will they be known by Him as His? Will they see me as a man who loves God and will they desire to walk my path? Or have I lead them away from Jesus as I trod down the path of wrath and self destruction?

I have seen what lurks within me and it is the worst of all blackness. I am a man in need of a Savior. The demons call out to me by name and entice me daily. How many times will I listen to them and bite the bait that they offer?

Oh God, I worship you for you are the Holy One of Israel and I am in need of you so desperately. I feel cut off. I feel hell bound and yet, I refuse to obey my feelings for they deceive me time and time again. And though I feel like I have lost my place in your kingdom, you have declared that I have a place and that you love me. Thank you Jesus because it is so tough to walk when my feelings purposely lie to me about you and your greatness.

So back to my thought. If I were to die today, I want every moment from here on out to be lived in total surrender and abandonment to Jesus. He is the only one that matters. He is enough and he alone is all I need. I want to know the Lord in a deeper way. I want to know the thoughts of my Lord and I want to live as his redeemed one in every moment and in all circumstances.

How I pray that my children come to know the Lord. Oh God is so good. His mercies are new every morning and it is always morning somewhere in the world. And I will put on these tender mercies as I want to be more like Jesus.

I want my life to reflect his purity, yet it hasn’t. I want my life to reflect his greatness, yet again, all I have reflected is me. And there is nothing pure or great about me in and of myself.

Jesus, I again come to you in worship and surrender. I want you to be my everything. I want to love you more than I love food, water, air or sleep. I want you to my only passion in life. I want to be so consumed by you that nothing else matters in comparison.

My heart is broken Jesus. I pray for a healing yet at the same time, I need a time of brokenness because these are the sweetest times for me spiritually as I really do learn to trust in you.

Please use me to advance your saving gospel and help me to bring everyone I come into contact with to you. I want to live out the rest of my days, bringing saints and non believers into your presence so that they can see you in all your glory. Please anoint me and sanctify my by your Spirit whom I have grieved far too many times. Please grow me in grace and compassion and help me to follow you with my whole heart, never looking back…..I want to run this race with endurance. Help me to endure and to remain focused on you. I love you Jesus, not as I ought to, but I still do love you. Help me to love you the way that you desire. Please restore me and pour out your Spirit upon me.

On the merits of Jesus alone I ask you to do this Father, Amen.


Friday, September 07, 2007

Journal 9/7/07


Your grace reveals your beauty. You bought me at a price that I cant imagine as it is so high. You see the depths of my heart yet you still love me. I am so blown away. I pray that you would be merciful on me and that you would continue the work that you started before the foundation of the world when you chose me to walk closely with you. Please wash me thoroughly. I need you, I need your compassion and pity. Please take pity on me Jesus. Please heal my broken heart from the depravity that it has embraced for so long. You are so wonderful and glorious and I regret all the times I have shamed your wonderful name.

I raise my hands Jesus as your mercy falls upon me and I receive your washing. I surrender, I quit. I am tired of fighting and resisting you and your greatness. You deserve nothing less than my total surrender and that is where I want to be. And though I cant promise where I will be tomorrow or even tonight, I promise that right now, right in this moment I give myself to you. Please do as you wish with me and help me to rejoice in you no matter what happens to me in the future. I give you all of me right here, right now, in this moment.

That past is gone and the future does not exist, all I have is the present and that is what I am giving to you. Oh how I want to be like the Saints of old where they lived and died in total abandonment to you Jesus. How do I get in that place and stay there? I want to be a man who lives and dies to bring you glory. Because your glory is the only thing that will last throughout the ages. Teach me to number my days so that I will no longer sin against you.


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Todays devotional


Please check it out, I wrote one for each Wednesday for the month of August.


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Journal 8/28/07

The world has crashed down around me as I am effected by the horror that is inflicted upon my soul. I never wanted to be the one to break your heart Lord. I need to find a place to rest before the sun sets. Will I lay alone? Will I have to lay my head upon a stone? And if I fall asleep will I have nightmares? Because my nightmares do not end when I am awake.

Strong winds are ravishing the waters as the waves crash upon the shores of my life. I hear the whistling of demons as they taunt me in their fury. I am in a time of despair and the outlook is grey. I feel so alone.

I have been wounded. I am desperately seeking mercy as I lay here desolate. Like a mad man I have hurt the ones I love and more than that, the One who gave himself for me. My soul longs for rest. My soul cries out for the city of peace as my heart beats relentlessly in total desperation for freedom from this body of death that I find myself trapped in.

I am hurting Jesus. Please lift this weight that I have placed upon my shoulders and help me to walk in total surrender from this day forward.

I need to hear your voice Jesus through the winds and this storm. I need to hear you. Please call out to me so I can find my way back to you. I long to be safe in the shelter that you provide in the cleft of the rock.

I know that there is no one else who can love me more than you do. And I am so blessed to be loved by you Jesus. Please hold me until this pain in me is gone. Please forgive me Jesus for doing my own will and not yours. Please forgive me for taking all the blessings that you have given to me for granted.

Forgiveness is essentially your way of removing the great obstacle to my fellowship with you Father. By cancelling my sin and paying for it with the death of your own Son, you open the way for me to see you and know you and enjoy you forever.

Thank you Father for loving me.


Monday, August 27, 2007

Journal 8/27/07

Funny how my emotions are right now. I am convinced by my emotions that You are going to crush me for my rebellion and wickedness towards You. That is what my emotions tell me. They tell me that You are going to reach down and wipe me out which is what I deserve. Yet in reality, if I get wiped out, it will not be because of Your anger against me or anything of that sort, it will be solely because of the sin that dwells in me and the poor choices that I have made over the years. I am the worse of all sinners as I have known the truth and rebelled against.

Are You still with me Jesus? Or have I crossed the line where only retribution awaits me? I hate the things I have done. I hate my past. I hate and despise all those times where I sinned against You. Will You have mercy on me Jesus?

I need mercy. I need mercy. Please take pity on me Jesus. Please heal me and restore me to the place where You have called me to be. Please help me to be a better husband and father. I am so gripped with fear as I await that day when I stand before You shamed by the poor choices that I have made. And I ought to be looking forward to the day when we meet face to face. I want to fall in love with You Jesus. I want to be fully consumed by Your greatness that I live to worship and praise You. But my strength is gone. I am a tree in the dessert withering away in the dryness of the scorching sun.

How in the world can I continue if I cant find You Jesus? All the things that I desired in my youth I regret now as they were so selfish and self centered. I want to be a man who pursues goals of lasting value. Oh my heart fails me. I feel like Matthew 15:8 is a scripture that you wrote specifically for me. For it says in Mathew 15:8 – These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me.

I can appear so spiritual on paper. Yet writing a devotional or a journal entry or a poem does not make me any more spiritual. What is the point of these things if my heart is far from You? And my heart has been far from You for a very long time.

My hope is 1 John 3:20 – For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. I hope this says what I think it says in the context of this journal entry. Because my heart condemns me and it should for I have sinned and sinned and sinned against You Jesus. Please forgive me for the rebellion that I have been in. Please forgive me for not going after you the way that you deserve. Please forgive me for choosing sin over intimacy with you.

I am sick to my stomach because of the things that I have done. Please forgive me Jesus and help me to walk in a manner that is pleasing to you. Help me to rejoice in the joy of my salvation once again and teach me Your ways Lord that I may walk in truth all the days of my life.

I know that I am your desire. I am yours, have your way with me. I commit my mind, body and soul into your hands.

Bill Scott, Sr.

Praise Songs from Calvary Chapel

As some of you may already know, I recorded one of my songs on my churches CD. Well the CD is out now and if anyone would like one let me know, the church is selling them for 5 bucks each plus shipping and handling.


Friday, August 24, 2007

Urgent Prayer Request

I cant say what it is, but please pray for me.....thank you

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Journal 8/22/07

I live among the dead; I live in the depravity of the darkness that is buried deep inside the grave of my head. I need to be freed from the chains that I have placed myself in. I am a dead man walking; as I lay in the filth in my heart. The demons chase after me as I sob in a torrent of tears. I need to be rescued. I need to be delivered from my adversary which ultimately is me. Does anyone hear? I am my own enemy! Can anyone help? I am lost in my own darkness and I am consumed in fear as I lay bound here in the dark state that I am in.

The fire is gone as the chill runs down my spine in this nightmare. And in the midst of my darkness you are still my light. You are the One I cry out to Jesus as I long to be with you. And yet fear of death grips me in the depths of my being. I have so many regrets. I am so ashamed of who I have become and I hate who I am apart from you Jesus. Regret is all I know these days as I look and see all the horrible things I have done against you Jesus. I have lived a selfish life and a self-centered life. Lord Jesus please have mercy on me.

I feel so forsaken and desolate. I feel lost, utterly lost! Please hold me Jesus and take my broken soul. I am so deplorable and wretched. I am desperate for you, all of you, the real you. I need you Jesus. I want you, and I must have you. You are the King of all glory and I long to behold you. Please become my Prince of peace.

I am nothing at all yet you bid me to come to you. Yet I am so overwhelmed with everything. So I stand here weeping in your presence as my sobs break the silence. And as I look down at my tears, they do not hit the ground as they run off my cheek. They are caught by your nailed scarred hands which only causes me to sob even more.

Oh why do you love me so Lord? After all I have done and all the places I have been? I forget the price you paid for my life. And as my world crumbles around me, all I desire and all I want is your forgiveness and mercy. I want you Jesus. Will you have me?


Friday, August 17, 2007

Real science - thank you Kent Hovind!

Here is what the Bible and science says about evolution and here is the evidence of creation:

I believe that the Bible is the infallible Word of God. I believe it from cover to cover. In 2 Timothy 3:16, it says, “ALL SCRIPTURE is given by inspiration of God, & is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

The Bible says, in Genesis, “In the Beginning….” When was the beginning? How old is the earth anyways? This is an extremely important question. This question that I will be dealing with is a question that has caused many people not believe in Gods word. So I find it a very important question to deal with. This is the heart of the battle.

In Colossians 1:16a it says, “For by Him (Jesus) were all things created, that are in Heaven, & that are in the earth…” Since Jesus created everything, He probably knows how old it is. Jesus said in Mathew 19:4, “And he answered & said unto them, Have you not read, that He which made them in the beginning made them male & female.”

In Mark 10:6, “From the beginning of the creation, God made them male & female.” The Bible says that death came by sin, (Romans 5:12 & 1 Corinthians 15:21-22), By man, came all sin & in Adam all die. Adam was the 1st man according to the Bible, that is a very clear teaching of the bible. The Bible teaches that the Earth is about 6000 years old.

This is the basic rundown of the Biblical view of things: The Bible teaches that God created the earth about 6000 years ago. Forty-four hundred years ago there was a flood. Two-thousand years ago Jesus came & died on a cross & rose from the dead. And here we are today waiting for the Lord to come back in about 5 minutes!!! That is the basic teaching of the Word of God. This is the biblical view of creation.

If you gave the bible to 5000 people who had never read the bible before & you told them to actually read it & tell us what it says, they would all come up with this same historical timeline. That is the obvious teaching of the bible. We have people who teach that the earth is billions of years old & the Bible teaches that the earth is 6000 years old. Who is right?

The textbooks in the schools tell people that 20 billion years ago there was a big bang. Four point six billion years ago the earth cooled down & developed a hard rocky crust. Then it rained on the rocks for millions of years & turned it into soup. The soup came alive about 3 billion years ago. Then the 1st life form found somebody to marry…blah, blah, blah, & something to eat & then very slowly evolved into what we see today.

The skeptics will say, “Adam & Eve had Cain & Abel, Cain then killed Abel, who did Adams sons marry?” They think, we got you now…Hahaha….

But if you believe in evolution, your problem is worse than mine. The evolutionist believe that 4.6 billion years ago that the earth cooled down. Then it rained on the rocks & turned them into soup. Then the 1st living organisms appeared. They use that word a lot, “APPEARED” Things just appear. They say, “swirling around in the waters of the ocean is a bubbling broth of complex chemicals…progress from a complex chemical soup to a living organism is very slow…”

In the college science book called, “Biology, The Unity & Diversity of Life” it says, “The first self-replicating systems must have emerged in this organic soup.”

Now if you believe in evolution, then you have to get two cells to evolve. They have to be of the opposite sex. They have to evolve in the same place at the same time in history. It’s a big world you know. Cells are kind of small….(they have to find each other). There are a lot of problems that you have to explain that I don’t.

I don’t have a problem because in Genesis 5:4 it tells us that Adam live another 800 years or so & had sons & daughters. How many kids could you have in 800 years?

So in the 1st generation they married sisters.

1. There is no choice, (no one would have thought that it was wrong at that time).
2. Who would you report them to? (They were the only people in the world).
3. There were no laws against it until 2500 years later when Moses gave the law. They didn’t need a law against that in the original creation because there were no deformed chromosomes. Everything about you is inherited. (If your parents don’t have kids, you wont either). Genetic similarity is not a problem in the 1st generations.

Okay, so when was the beginning? How old is the earth? The science books have brainwashed people to believe that the earth is billions of years old. Why do I care so much about the age of the earth?

1. The credibility of Genesis is at stake because Genesis teaches that the earth is about 6000 years old.
2. The credibility of Jesus is at stake. (Jesus cited Genesis 25 times), apparently Jesus believed it.
3. Nearly every book in the entire Bible refers to the book of Genesis.

How old is the earth? Let’s look at some scientific indicators. In the “Star Tribune Minneapolis, Minn. On July 24th 1999” it said, “Last weekend the world’s population topped 6 billion.”

Now if you don’t know how much a billion is (don’t worry because congress doesn’t know either), a billion is a lot. In 1985 there were 5 billion people on the earth. In 1800 there were about 1 billion people on the planet. Almost everyone agrees that there were about 1 billion people in 1800, it really isn’t disputed. Everyone also agrees that the population is growing rapidly.

(With all that said, the world is not over crowded. Did you know that all of the world’s population, all 6 billion people could fit inside the city limits of Jacksonville Florida, twice? That city has 25 billion square feet, obviously we all couldn’t survive there at once, but I just want to show you the size of our land).

At the time of Jesus there were about ¼ of a billion people on the earth. The population curve looks like it started about 4400 years ago. Well, that’s interesting, because the bible teaches that 6000 years ago God created the world. Forty-four hundred years ago there was a flood & only 8 people survived. Now if you start with 8 people having kids & grand-kids, you can easily get a population of 5-6 billion in a few thousand years.

If the earth is billions of years old & man has been here for 3 million years, then why aren’t there more people? Do you realize that in 3 million years the population would have grown to where we would have 150,000 people per square inch. That would be crowed. We have not been here for 3 million years.

Here is another fact. Galaxies are spinning but the stars in the middle are going faster than the ones on the outside. If they were billions of years old, they would not have the spiral shape to them. Spiral galaxies indicate that they are not billions of years old. They would have been spun smooth into one homogeneous mass. They would not have the spiral arms because the stars are moving at different speeds.

Textbooks say that Red Giant Stars evolve into white dwarfs over billions of years. But we know that the ancient Egyptians called Sirius a red star. (Look, I am using scientific facts that are not from the Bible! What? You mean there are other sources of evidence recorded than just what is recorded in the Bible? Yes, there is!!!)

“Egyptian hieroglyphs from 2000 B.C. described Sirius as red.”“Cicero, in 50 B.C. stated that Sirius was red.” “Seneca described Sirius as being redder than Mars.”“Ptolemy listed Sirius as one of the six red stars in 150 A.D.” Today Sirius is a white dwarf. This happened in less than 2000 years. It doesn’t take billions of years like the text books say.

Jupiter is cooling down. It is losing heat twice as fast as it gains it. You can’t keep losing heat, pretty soon it’s cooled off, right? If you found a cup of coffee on the table & I said don’t touch the coffee, it’s hot. You ask “Who’s is it?” I answer, “I don’t know? It has been sitting there for 400 years!” That would be kind of hard to believe, don’t you think? But people want me to believe that these planets are billions of years old & they are losing heat!!!

Saturn has rings around it, but the rings are moving away from the planet. The rings are unstable. They are less than 10,000 years old. These rings would have been gone after 10,000 years yet you want to tell me that it is billions of years old. If the universe is billions of years old, then why does Saturn still have rings?

Jupiter has a moon called Ganymede, but it is constantly losing heat. And Ganymede has a strong magnetic field which indicates that it can’t be billions of years old. “Magnetic Fields” are generated by the liquid motion of molten metal inside a body. Ganymede should have cooled solid billions of years ago. It is not billions of years old.

The moon is going around the earth. Did you know that as the moon goes around the earth it is slowly getting further away. We are slowly losing our moon. It’s only a few inches a year, no big deal. (There is nothing to worry about plus there is nothing we can do about it anyways). The moon gets further from the earth every year which means, that it use to be closer. If you start to bring the moon in closer to the earth, you start to create a problem because the moon causes the tides.

There is a law in physics known as the Inverse Square Law which says: “The force of attraction between two objects is inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.” What that simply means is that if you “Half” the distance then you “Quadruple” the attraction. If you brought the moon in to 1/3 the distance, the force of the attraction between the two objects is 9 times greater. 1/3 inverted 3/1, 3 squared = 9 (1/3 flipped over & squared).

The moon tells us that it can’t be billions of years old because just a few billion years ago the moon would have been so close & the tides would have been so high that it would have drowned everything on earth twice a day. (And you can only drown comfortably once a day).

Outer space is full of dust. The scientists have known about dust in space for a long time. They have done all kinds of testing to see just how much dust is in space coming to the earth. When they were ready to land on the moon, they were very concerned of the dust in space because the moon runs into this dust. The moon doesn’t have any wind or water to mix it into the soil, so the dust just lands there & stays.

They calculated the dust to be pretty thick on the moon. The famous astronomer by the name of “Littleton” said in 1955, before they went to the moon. Littleton felt that x-rays & UV light striking exposed moon rocks “could during the age of the moon be sufficient to form a layer over it several miles deep.” (Monthly Notices of the Royal Astronomical Society of London Vol. 115. 1955 pp. 585-604). Isaac Asimov said, “I get a picture, therefore, of the 1st spaceship, picking out a nice level place for landing purposes, coming in slowly downward tail-first & sinking majestically out of sight.” (Isaac Asimov. Science Digest Ian 1959 P. 36). Again, this was in 1959 before man went to the moon.

Even in children books before they went to the moon it talked about the dust. In the children book “You WILL Go To the Moon” written before 1959 it said, “Boys & girls, the moon does not look like the earth. There are no trees, no lakes, no water. Just dust, dust, dust.

There is just deep, gray dust. Dust, dust, dust.”They were so concerned with landing on the moon that they put huge landing pads on the space craft to spread the weight out. They wanted to give it the snowshoe effect. The landing pads were added & the legs were lengthened because of the concerns over the predicted layer of dust. They actually sawed the ladder off. The ladder was 18 inches to short in anticipation of the thick dust layer. The guy had to jump down to the moon. He was concerned with ripping his suit. (Trust me, you don’t want to get a rip in you suit out there).

If you can get a hold of the 1st hour of conversation on the moon, you will hear them talking about, “the dust.” They were wondering where all the dust was. The man who built the backpack for the astronauts is now a pastor in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. He said, “I worked at NASA & I built the backpack. I was instructed to build it dust proof incase he sank into the dust.” They were still worried about the dust when they landed on the moon. But the dust wasn’t there.

So the Christians at NASA said to the evolutionist, “How old is the moon?” They said, “Oh, it’s billions of years old.” They said, “Then where is the dust?” The evolutionist didn’t say this, but I am sure they were thinking this, “I bet those Christians went up there & cleaned it just to make us look stupid!” No, we didn’t go up there & clean the moon.

I can tell you where the dust is. You see, the moon is not billions of years old. They left plates behind to collect dust. The accumulation of dust is much less than they thought. It is not an inch in 10,000 years. “Only 1/67th of the moon dust is from space*. The actual measured amount of dust turned out to be 2.7 inches per million years.” (In the beginning by Walt Brown p. 214 CSE $17.50 *the rest is kicked up lunar soil).

So the dust is a lot less than they thought, but that still works out to be 1,033 feet of dust in 4.6 billion years.

There is still a problem. The moon is not billions of years old.Comets are flying around through space & they are constantly losing material. The stuff flying off of the tail is the material that they are losing. They can’t keep losing & losing….eventually it is all gone. It’s kind of like your check book. If your outgo exceeds your income, Your upkeep will be your downfall. Comets have a life expectancy of less than 10,000 years (Prentice Hall Earth Science 1991 p. 73).

“In 1950, based on a study of the orbits of several long-period comets, the Dutch astronomer Jan Oort proposed that a great spherical shell of (Comets) existed at the remote frontiers of our solar system.” – Matson.

“Better statistics in more recent years have supported the existence of the Oort Cloud & put it at a distance of 50,000 AU (1.3 light-years).” – From Matson’s “answer” to the creationist young earth arguments.

Just incase you don’t know, one Astronomical Unit (AU), is the distance from the earth to the sun. It is 93,000,000 miles. It is a big number. This guy Matson says that this so-called “Oort cloud” is 50,000 AU away. There is a problem with this though.No one has ever seen the Oort Cloud. (Oort never saw the Oort Cloud). It turns out that it is based upon a mathematical goof.

“Oort proposed a cloud of comets surrounding the solar system based on mathematical errors.” – (See Raymond Littleton. “The Non-Existence of the Oort Commentary Shell.” Astrophysics & Space Science Vol. 31 December 1974. Pp. 385-401).

So this Oort Cloud does not exist. But this scoffer named Matson said, “Sorry fella's, but if you want to use this comet argument it is up to you to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the Oort Cloud & other sources don’t exist!”

What? How are you going to prove the “Non-existence” of something? Prove to me that it is there, I don’t have to prove that it does not exist, you have to prove to me that it does exist. If you want to teach that the earth is billions of years old, then it is up to you to prove that it is. All I know is that we do have comets, they don’t last long. The Bible teaches that the earth is 6000 years old & it looks to me like it fits pretty well.

Psalm 39:3, “While I was MUSING the fire burned:”Psalm 143:5, “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I MUSE on the work of thy hands.”

The word “Muse” is only used twice in the entire Bible. It literally means, “To Think.” We don’t take time to think anymore. English is an interesting language. The word, “Theist” is a person who believes in God. When you put the letter “A” in front of the word, it means, the opposite of.

An “Atheist” is a person who does not believe in God. The word “Muse” means to think. The word “Amuse” literally means to not think. They have whole parks where someone can go & pay to do that, they are called: “Amusement Parks.”

It says in Psalm 8:3, “When I consider the heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon & the stars, which thou has ordained;” Psalm 8:4, “What is man, that thou art mindful of him?” You can always tell when someone spends their time thinking & considering what God has done. They are not impressed with what man can do.

When you consider the heavens, it does not matter what man can do.How old is the earth? Well, the earth is like a big magnet & magnets lose their strength with time. The earth’s magnet is losing its strength continually. It is getting weaker & weaker, which means that it cannot be billions of years old & it means that carbon dating cannot work for more than a few thousand years. (If you desire, I will go into detail on why carbon dating can’t work, just let me know).

Some skeptics knew that the whole magnetic field was getting weaker & that it was a problem so they claimed that maybe the earth’s magnetic field is reversing. They went to the bottom of the mid-Atlantic ridge to try & find evidence that the magnetic field is reversing. The text books say that there are magnetic reversals in rocks on the ocean floor. They say that to answer the embarrassing problem of the declining strength of the magnetic field.

It has never been observed to reverse. It has only been observed to decline. For three-hundred years that is all that we have seen, it’s declining. There are no area’s of magnetic reversals. What happened is these people measured places of stronger & weaker magnetism. Somebody drew a line in the middle & said that anything lower than the halfway point is a reversal. But it isn’t, it’s a lower magnitude of the magnetic field. There are no magnetic reversals on the ocean floor.

The earth is spinning at about 1000 MPH at the equator. But the earth is slowing down. In 1990, they had to add a tick to the clock. It was off by a second. In the “Pensacola News Journal, 12/6/1990”, it said, “…regular clocks use days as a measure. Which are growing longer by a thousandth of a second or more daily as Earth’s rotation slows.”

“Earth’s Rotation is slowing down. To compensate for this lagging motion, June will be one second longer than normal. This ‘Leap Second’ announced by the International Earth Rotation Service in February, will keep calendar time in close alignment with international time.” – Astronomy Magazine, June 1992, p.24.

We have a leap second every year & a half now because the Earth is slowing down. (The earth is slowing down, which means that it use to go faster). If the Earth is only 6000 years old, then this is not a problem. The earth was going a little faster & Adam wouldn’t have even noticed it.

But you guys want me to believe that the earth is billions of years old. That creates a problem. If you go back a billion or two years & you add one thousandth of a second per day to the spin of the earth, then that means that the earth was going extremely fast. Your days & nights would be very quick. It would be day, night, day, night, day, night, every second. You would have to get up then go right back to bed & then get up & go right back to bed.

The winds would have been 5000 miles per hour due to the Corilolis effect. And you think that dinosaurs lived two hundred million years ago? I know what happened to them…..they flew off the earth. They would have had to at the speed that the earth would be going.

The Sahara Desert has a prevailing wind pattern. The wind almost always blows in the same direction. This creates a problem because the hot air off of the desert kills the trees on the edge & pretty soon that area becomes desert. This process is called “desertification.” The Sahara Desert is the largest desert in the world. It is 1300 miles from North to South & is growing 4 miles a year.

People are speeding up the process due to poor farming & the like, but even without that scenario, the desert would still grow. They just did a lengthy study on this & they concluded that the Sarah Desert is about 4000 years old. (See Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research in Germany, July 15, 1999 – Geophysical Research Letters).

Now that is pretty old, but I have a question for you? If the Earth is billions of years old, then why don’t we have an older desert? Why is the biggest desert in the world only 4000 years old?

I have a theory about that. I believe that about 6000 years ago God created the world, just like the bible says. Forty-four hundred years ago there was a flood. It is kind of hard to have a desert under a flood. You can’t have a desert until the flood waters go down. So I predict by what the bible says that the biggest desert should be less than 4400 years old!!

OH WOW, IT IS!!! Maybe the Bible is right after all.

Did you know that when they drill in the ground that sometimes they find oil? The oil is under incredible pressure, they can be up to 20,000 psi, (pounds per square inch). The guys who studied the rocks on top of the oil said that the rocks can only handle that pressure for 10,000 years or less.

So I have two questions them.
1. Where did the oil come from?
2. Why is it still under pressure?

Nearly all of scientist agree that oil comes from organisms that have been squished. “Oil & Gas are from organisms that once lived in the sea…changed by heat & pressure…into oil.” – (Holt General Science. 1988 p.294).

They can take a bunch a garbage in a science lab & squeeze it into oil in a few minutes. Under natural pressures, it can be done in 1000 years. They say that all the oil came from dinosaurs over an 80 million year period. I don’t think so. Here is my theory on where the oil came from.

I believe that about 6000 years ago, God created the heavens & the earth. 4400 years ago there was a flood. In that flood lots of critters & people drowned. They were buried by the sand, gravel, rocks, & mud. Well, that got pretty heavy after a while & it squished them into oil. So the oil that is down there is from the people & the animals that drowned in the flood.

(If you think about that, the next time you are at the gas station getting gas you can say to the gas…..”Goodbye Grandpa, you should have listened to Noah, he said it was going to rain.”)

In Denver Colorado they have the National Ice Core Laboratory. They have 10 ice core samples taken from a remote Antarctic glacier. These ice cores are resting in a giant freezers waiting to be tested. The freezer is 36 degrees below zero. They test the ice there to see how old it is.

They drill in Greenland & Antarctica & they bring back these ice cores. Well, these ice cores have what they call, “Annual Rings” on them. The deepest core can measure over 10,000 feet…& they say that based upon the annual rings that the ice is 135,000 years old. If you look at the core of the ice, you will see that it has dark & light lines on them.

They say, “In the summer, the top layer of snow melts & refreezes as clear ice, which shows up as the dark line. In the winter the snow packs & shows up as a white milky layer. So it shows summer, winter, summer, winter, & we can count 135,000 of them. How can you say the earth is only 6000 years old?”

But my question is, “Aren’t you assuming that those are annual rings?” You see, in 1942, in W.W.II, there was a plane that had to land in Greenland because it ran out of gas. Some guy decided that he was going to dig them out. When they found the airplane, it was under 263 feet of ice, in 48 years.

So take 48 years divided by 263 feet of ice is about 5.5 feet of ice per year. The biggest hole that those other guys drilled was about 10,000 feet. 10,000 divided by 5.5’ = 1824 years. Now the deeper you go, the more the layers get squished. Deeper ice is pressed into finer layers so 4400 years is a little more closer to the age of the ice. By the way, planes don’t sink in the ice due to pressure on the ice.

The plane is in Middlebrow, Kentucky. Bob Cardin is the guy who dug it out. His phone number is: (606) 248-1149. He said that he saw those annul rings. But he said that they are not annual rings, they are not summer, winter, summer winter, they are warm, cold, warm, cold. You can get 20 of those rings in one week.

Like I said before, there is so much evidence that backs up God’s Word, I am satisfied with the fact that God’s Word is absolutely true. Take for example Mississippi River.

The Mississippi River is deposits mud sediments at a rate of 80,000 tons per hour – day after day. (Prentice Hall General Science, 1992 p.145). The call it the “Muddy Mississippi”. All this mud dumps off in New Orleans, in the Gulf of Mexico. That delta is growing larger & larger & larger. Scientist studied the delta pretty carefully. They said that it took 30,000 years to accumulate the mud in the delta.

If that is the case, then I have a question. If the earth is billions of years old, then why isn’t the whole Gulf of Mexico full of mud right now? They say, “Well, it’s 30,000 years old, that proves that the bible is wrong because the bible says the earth is 6000 years old.”

Well, I have a theory about that. I believe that about 6000 years ago God created the earth, just like the Bible says. 4400 years ago there was a flood. As the flood water was running off, it filled the Gulf of Mexico with mud, not in 30,000 years, but in just a couple of years. All that mud washed out with the receding flood waters. It looks like it took 30,000 years, but they forgot the flood….it only took 4400 years.

In the book, “Allyn and Bacon Biology, 1977, p. 180”, they have a picture of the oldest tree in the entire world. This tree is in Central California & is called the “Bristlecone Pine”. It is 4300 years old. They call it the worlds oldest living organism. That is a pretty old tree. But I have a question. If the earth is billions of years old, then why don’t we have an older tree some place? Why is the oldest tree in the entire world 4300 years old?

Well, I have a theory about that. I believe that about 6000 years ago God created everything, just like the bible says. Then about 4400 years ago there was a flood. So the oldest tree in the world should be less than 4400 years old.


Did you know that the largest Coral Reef is in Australia. It is called, “The Great Barrier Reef”. During W.W.II., some of the reef was destroyed by the ships & bombs & anchors, & other things like that. So the environmentalist went out there to see how fast it grows back.. They studied it & watched it grow for 20 years….(it was a government project).After watching the reef grow for 20 years, they came to the conclusion that the Great Barrier Reef is less than 4200 years old. That is pretty old.

Umm, but I have a question. If the earth is billions of years old, why don’t we have a bigger reef some place? Why is the biggest reef less than 4200 years old? Well, I have a theory about that. I bet you know what it is don’t you….

In the science book, “Holt Earth Science, 1989, p.279”, it says, “The rocky ledge above Niagara Falls has been eroding for nearly 9,900 years”. How do they know that? Well, the rocks are breaking off of the edge. Niagara Falls is eating it’s way south. It’s eroding. The Canadian’s built a concrete wall on there side to make sure that it erodes on American soil. (They really did).

The rocks are breaking off of the edge & the water fall is moving backwards. All waterfalls do this. The eat their way backwards, depending on how hard the rock is. Niagara Falls is moving backwards 4.7 feet a year. “Crest lines showing recession of Horseshoe Falls since 1764. 865 feet in 185 years is approximately 4.7 feet per year”. – (Source: Niagara Falls Museum Guide).

The water goes over the fall into a big gorge, called the “Niagara Gorge” or the “Niagara Canyon”. The Niagara Canyon is 7 ½ miles long. “A gorge about 7 ½ miles long runs just below Niagara Falls. A simple calculation shows that it has been 9900 years…” – (Holt Earth Science 1984, p. 284).

Well, I have a question then. Niagara Falls used to be near Lake Ontario. If Niagara Falls is billions of years old or even millions of years old, then why isn’t back to Lake Erie right now? Well, I have a theory about that.

I believe that about 6000 years ago, God created the earth. 4400 years ago there was a flood. As the water was running off, about half that gorge ran off in the 1st couple of months to a year or so. How is that possible? Because in the time of the flood there was a lot more water running through soft dirt, not hard rock. So it looks like it took 9900 years, but they forgot the flood.

Did you know that when it rains, 30% of the water runs into the oceans. Bringing with it, mineral salts. “Oceans today are 3.6% salt” – (Hole Biology 1994, p.225). The oceans are getting saltier everyday. They could have done that in less than 5000 years. If the earth is billions of years old, then why aren’t the oceans saltier like the Dead Sea or the Great Salt Lake? Why is it only 3.6%?

A guy was in a debate once & a skeptic said, “Can you please answer a question for me? You believe that there was a world wide flood?” Yes I do. So the skeptic said, “How did the fresh water fish survive?” The speaker said, “Sir, aren’t you assuming that the flood was salt water?” The skeptic said, “Well, the ocean is salt water”. The speaker replied, “Yes it is, today. But it has been getting saltier everyday, so I think that during the flood, that it was all fresh water.”

So the skeptic answered & said, “Well then, how did the salt water fish survive?” The speaker answered and said, “Well, there weren’t any.” The skeptic said, “The ocean is full of salt water animals.” The speaker said, “Well, yeah, it is today, but it has gradually gotten saltier & many of the animals have had to learn to adapt salt water….or don’t live there. Today we have fresh water alligators & salt water alligators. They probably had a common ancestor……an alligator.”

The skeptic said, “Well, that’s evolution”. The speaker answered & said, “Common Sir, going from a fresh water alligator to a salt water alligator is a minor change compared to the evolution myth. You see, you teach that they change from a rock to an alligator. That would be a major change.”

So everyone who rejects the God of the bible has to come up with another solution and the problem is that they cannot. They create these theories that do not hold any water.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Journal 8/15/07

O Lord, I call to you; come quickly to me. Hear my voice when I call to you. May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Psalm 141:1-2

Because I was created by God and for His glory, I will magnify Him as I respond to His great love. My desire is to make knowing Him and enjoying Christ the passionate pursuit of my life.


Here is my life, if you can do something with it, then please do so.

In Jesus name, Amen

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Are you Ready?

Are you ready?

We are at the gates as the “End” does draw near
A time for us to rejoice and all others to fear
We are very close, as it will not be that long
Are you ready for the “End?” You cant afford to be wrong.

The buildings are swaying in the wind where they stand
As God’s judgment is poured out, upon the souls of man
Chaos and fear tend to grip all around
As fire falls from the sky and scorches the ground

Horror and terror are what seems to prevail
As fire reigns down and men’s hearts begin to fail
The sky is full of thunder; lightning is seen in flashes
As billions rebel and will die with the masses

The Great Tribulation begins to unfold
People begin to suffer as their hearts remain cold
Inflation is something that will effect the poor
A loaf of bread will cost a days wages and more

Earthquakes and famines and death do prevail
Life here on earth will be a living hell.
Yet this is only the beginning of pains
As this age ends and the anti-christ begins his reign.

With signs in the sky and deception in the air
The anti-christ is alive; his kingdom is doing well
For who can wage war against a man with his power
Not a soul on earth can, for this is his hour

Things start to get worse; a line is drawn in the sand
If you don’t serve anti-christ then you will die where you stand
All must worship the beast no matter where they dwell
They start taking his mark; condemning their souls to hell

Whoa to the earth and woe to all men
God’s judgment is here and is poured upon sin
For there is no hope once you have taken the mark
Your fate has been sealed, your future is dark

Yet you now say that when the tribulation begins
You will at that time serve Christ and will turn from your sins
If you cant live for Christ now then why do you assume
You will die for him then as serving him will seal your doom?

I hope you will ponder, these words that I say
I pray you will heed God’s word and get saved
Because the stage is set as we move that way steadily
The end is upon us, the question is, Are you ready?

Written by Bill Scott, Sr.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Journal 8/7/07


I have been living my own way; thinking of myself only and not seeking you for anything. I have been building castles in the sand as the temporary pleasures of life which mean absolutely nothing have consumed me to the point of utter destruction. And now the storms have come and the walls of sand are crashing in and falling down upon me. In my castle of sand I thought I was a prince when in fact I was only a slave. So here I am Jesus once again as I stand here weeping in sorrow and anguish of soul for my wretchedness towards you.

My face is soaked as the tears flood down my cheeks like a broken dam. I have held my ground for as long as I can in my own stubbornness and I can no longer do so. I need you Jesus, I need your grace so desperately. I am sliding in the torrents of mud as my own pride and self-seeking heart is my constant downfall. I can’t hold my ground any longer as it has washed out beneath me Lord, so here I am reaching out my hand as I beg for mercy and pity.

Please take me back Jesus. Please free me from this world. Please free me from the slavery which the world brings. Though the storms of life drench me and cause me to almost drown, when I make the world my friend they always leave me high and dry which is far worse. And now I swim in the mess that I have made as I drag your name through the mud.

I am not worthy Jesus to be associated with you let alone called one of yours. I have abandoned all the things you have taught me and I have shamed your name so badly. How I hate the morning sun because it drags me into another day of shame and of reaping what I have sown.

Oh please transform me into your likeness Jesus. Free me.


Sunday, August 05, 2007

Three of the loves of my life

I love my kids, they are so much fun. What a blessing to watch and see them grow.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

My online devotional

So I am writing 5 devotionals for an online group called "Writer Interrupted". My 1st one was posted yesterday under Midweek Devotional, I think this is the link: http://ginaconroy.com/groupblog/wordpress/?p=531

When you get a moment please check it out. I have the entire month of August and a new devotional will be posted every Wednesday on that site. I believe this link is the home page for that writing group: http://www.writerinterrupted.com/groupblog/wordpress/


Monday, July 16, 2007

Take Him to Jesus!

The love of her life is drifting into darkness;
He is losing his mind as he is lost in distress
The love she has known is falling to pieces;
As he loses his hope and he weeps in his head

A child’s hearts sobs as he walks through the day;
His soul cries out loudly with his heart on display
You try to make sense of it as he’s desperate for hope;
You are straining for words to help this man cope

Darkness is consuming; his eyes lost in a deep stare
He withers away with his mind lost in despair
Hope fades away as the day turns to night;
This man starts to sob as things just are not right

And words are not easy; you don’t know what to say;
He falls deeper in darkness and into dismay
The pain is unbearable its too much to bear
Yet you don’t need the answers, just lift him up in prayer

Take this man to Jesus; to the cross where Christ died
For his burden is easy, and he will stay by this mans side
As he starts to stumble; just reach out your hand
And take him to Jesus; where God will help this man stand.

Written by Bill Scott, Sr

Journal 7/16/07

The scriptures declare that I am a new man in Christ that the old things have passed away and all things become new. But somewhere on this journey of life I have lost sight of that and it feels as if all the new things have gotten old. I hate feeling this way. I desire so desperately to have the joy of God’s salvation alive in me once again.

I have made so many mistakes in my life. And when it comes to sin, lets just say that I can’t even begin to number how many times I have willfully sinned against the Lord. Yet my sins and mistakes are cast away as far as the east is from the west. And although I am a brand new man in a foreign land, I feel like the fire is lost and I am lost in the land of my enemies. And my greatest enemy is me.

Will you move me like you used to Lord? I want to burn brightly for you once again, but it is something that you have to do in me. I cannot do this in and of myself. I want to be revived again. I want to experience your new life again. Will you lift me up again and restore me fully?I long to burn brightly for you Jesus. When the smoke clears I want to be a man who is holy and on fire for the right things. I desire passion for your name once again and at the moment I simply do not have it.

I wake up in apathy as the ghosts of my past haunt me. It’s as if I had a grip on reality at one point in time but the deceitfulness of sin has caused a delusion of reality and instead of confidence in you Jesus, fear grips me as it seems that you are slipping away from my grip. Oh how grateful I am that I will never slip from your hands. Will darkness ever leave me? Will I see the sun climb high into the heavens anytime soon? I want to say that I am a broken man, but apathy has consumed me to the point where I feel nothing. And I know that only you alone can renew my soul again. I need revival. No one else can help me Jesus, there is no substitute for what you can do in my life. I want to get up out of my slumber and run for you like there is no tomorrow. I want to run the race, not fade away into nothingness. I would rather burn for you than to have my flickering flame go out.

So back to my original thought; I am a brand new man in Christ who has been changed on the inside. This change ought to fan the flame of my passion towards you Lord. So I am praying that you would give me a new desire to pursue you like never before. I desire to have the energy to pursue the things of God like never before. I don’t want to live out the old mans will anymore, for I have a new destiny. Please lead me into the way of everlasting. I can’t do this by myself so I am calling upon you Jesus to help me.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Journal 7/12/07 - more thoughts


It seems like I fail you a million times a day on a good day; yet your mercy remains steadfast towards me. Should I fail again only to cause you more shame? Of course not, so then why do I? Do I really desire your will above all else? Somewhere lost in my head I again would say yes I do desire your will above all else, but my actions say otherwise. And my actions scream that my will is what I am after and not yours. Who am I fooling anyways? I am not fooling you Jesus; that is for sure. I hate the power that my flesh has over me. I hate that fact that I listen to my flesh and obey it without question or hesitation. I obey my flesh of my own free will and I choose to obey it instead of you. I HATE IT!!!!

I wish I would be lost and consumed in worshipping you. I wish I would be lost in praising your name. I don’t know what it is, pride maybe? But whatever it is the stench of my flesh hinders me. I am hindered in totally abandoning myself in your presence. I desire to give you control of my heart, my soul, my being. I want to embrace your righteousness and love you from the depths of my being. Why wont I wrestle my flesh to the ground? Consume me Jesus! Consume my every fiber. Take me and make me one with you. Please God, do a work in my hard heart of calloused stone.

Lord of Glory, you are eternal and your light shines ever so brightly. Your light exposes my sin and shame yet it also restores and cleanses me in the depths of my heart. I want to be clean permanently. I know that I am clean postionally in your sight, but I want to experience cleanliness practically. I want to be right where you are at all times. I long for heaven yet I fear I make my bed in hell.

Please forgive me Jesus for grieving your Spirit. Please forgive me for hindering the work of the spirit. Please have mercy on me and help me to walk in repentance all the days of my life. Please hold me Jesus and never let me go. I am so grateful that salvation is a work of grace because if it were not I would be doomed to hell forever. I am so grateful that your word declares that you will never ever forsake me. You will never ever leave me. Oh how I cling to those words. Thank you Lord.

You are so holy Lord God Almighty. You are what I long for when deception has finally fled my eyes and I see reality. My life is a mess and is utterly meaningless without your daily presence. I am a mess. I miss seeing you work in my life and I miss seeing you move among your people. I miss the days of old where I saw and experienced you so clearly and intimately. I miss talking to people who are totally consumed with you and only talk about your goodness; nothing else. I miss being around a people who were consumed by your spirit. I miss being consumed by your spirit. I miss you Jesus. I miss the passion that I had and I want to recapture it and remain in that special place where we are together. So please help me to get there and stay there. Help me to do the former things that helped me to walk closely to you.

Life is full of distractions. Help me to make every sing distraction and attraction to you.


Journal 7/12/07


Good morning, how are you doing today? Is there anything that you desire to share with me as I begin my day? Is there something that I should be prepared for? Do I need to learn something new today? I am here and I am ready to hear from you Jesus.

I wish I could live out John 15 in my day to day life. I want to abide in Christ. I want to dwell in that place where you are Lord and I want to stay there. I am a sheep that tends to go in every direction but the right direction. So I am purposing in my heart to give you this moment in time Lord. I can't promise that you will have the next moment. I would love to give you every moment, but I know me. So I am giving you this moment right here, right now. Please have your way with me in this moment.



Wednesday, July 11, 2007

today's thoughts

Life is truely harsh and I hate my flesh. I can't wait until I am delivered from this body of death.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Journal 6/19/07


You are like a flowing river that starts to grow in the wastelands of my life, for you refresh my soul O Lord. You are like the tide that crashes upon the scorched land in my soul. You are refreshing and filled with life. You are the source and sustainer of life as your clouds of mercy pour out rain upon a weary people. You are so good. And though there is drought brought forth from the blistering heat of the sun, you bring shelter to the weary as your clouds overtake the harshness of the noon time heat. And I can feel the sprinkling of what’s to come. I can taste in a sense the mist coming from eternity. I can feel the sprinkle from the waterfall that crashes down the cliff. I can hear the rumbling power of the pouring water and it is serene and uplifting yet powerful and surreal.

Oh your water is so purifying. You wash me clean as I drink in your thirst quenching waters of life. The winds of refreshment are on their way as I know you are coming again soon for your bride. I feel like a drop of water in the ocean of God. There is such a security as I swim in the fountain of the Lord. I am at home and though the tide may come and go, I can be assured that you love me as I swim in the streams of your love for you are my life.

Oh how this water reflects the Son coming from the sky so clearly. You are incredible Lord Jesus. The icy caverns of my heart have melted away in your presence. I am looking up Lord, for I know the time for your visitation is coming. And each cloud that forms in the heavens only brings me closer to my hope as I ponder your return. You are coming again, Halleluiah! Come Lord Jesus, come quickly for your bride. We are desperate for you, for you have the water that will cause us to never thirst again, and we are a thirsty people Lord.

May I be found dancing in the ripples and waves as they emerge upon the horizon at your coming. May I float in the crystal waters before your throne in humility and meekness as I embrace you at your return. May you take pity on a wretch like me Lord Jesus and return quickly. How I long for that day. Please come for us. We await with eagerness to meet you in the air. Please come soon.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Journal 6-15-07

As I write this I am looking out the window at this incredible view as the sun is setting upon the horizon. Believe it or not, but it is 10:10PM and there is still light glistening in the sky. I am listening to worship music as I contemplate the frailty of life. This view that I have out this window is so glorious. I live in the Northwest and there are so many trees. I can see the mountains buried in greenery, as God’s creation gets ready to close her eyes for the night. I have been so blessed to live in an area of the world where it still only takes a few minutes to get alone in nature and alone with the Lord.

Life is so short. It has been appointed for man once to die and then the judgment.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. We really do not have a lot of time given to us to dwell on this earth. And not only that but the earth is actually dying. It is not the same earth that our forefathers walked upon. The earth is sick and is dying. The earth is under a curse as we are also while we live in this fallen world. Why do we lose sight so quickly of what is important? The Lord is important. Family is important. Relationships are important. The other things are just so irrelevant in light of eternity. Yet they consume us.

So back to this incredible view, I have this wonderful view from the hospital window as my son Tobias lays next to me asleep in his hospital bed. He is ok, just a little dehydrated from (hopefully just the flu) all the vomiting over the last few days. As I got to the hospital this evening to relieve my wife she informed me that my grandmother was given 6 months to live. She has lived a long time, but at the end of the day, once she takes her last breath that is it. And we will all be in that place. We will all die. Maybe not today, but unless the rapture happens we will die eventually.

Life is just too short to not do the right thing and serve the Lord. And as I say this, I look at myself and see that I too am a man who needs to serve the Lord. Because the truth is that I have only been serving myself. God has been so good to me. I can remember crying out for God to hear my prayer to spare my son Tobias and he heard me. God heard me and answered. And though we are in the hospital now, I am so grateful for the last four years that I have had with my son.

I mean, in a sense this is borrowed time because we were told that Tobias was not going to live. And here yet, here we are four years later. Oh God is good. He really is. Should I be angry with the Lord because my grandmother is not going to make it? Is it God’s fault? No. God has blessed us. We are so blessed and though death really is devastating and horrible; it is a reminder of two things. The first reminder is that we were not created to die. This was not how the original creation was.

And secondly we have hope for what is to come. God has promised us that he will restore things back to what they were. Adam was in paradise and we will one day be in paradise too. He will and has defeated the sting of death. How can we get mad at God when he has in fact given us such a great hope? God has promised that he will resurrect those who are in his family. And when my friends and family breath their last breath, it makes me cling to the promises of God tighter. He is so good. I am so grateful that he has given me hope. I am so grateful that he loves me and cares for me.

He is so pure, loving, gracious, and merciful and yet he still wants to meet with and fellowship with me. Wow! I wish I could focus on Jesus in this way all the time. I mean I know I can, but I wish I would. Sin is so enticing and it keeps me from the One who love me. I have failed on my journey thus far but I pray that from today forward that I would practically walk and live out what I write. I know that when I stand before the Lord that I will have regrets and lots of them.

Oh God, I want to be in tune with you wholly. Please forgive me for choosing other things over the important things in life. The truth is that I feel so safe with you because you have declared that I am precious to you. I want to live I your embrace forever Jesus.