The scriptures declare that I am a new man in Christ that the old things have passed away and all things become new. But somewhere on this journey of life I have lost sight of that and it feels as if all the new things have gotten old. I hate feeling this way. I desire so desperately to have the joy of God’s salvation alive in me once again.
I have made so many mistakes in my life. And when it comes to sin, lets just say that I can’t even begin to number how many times I have willfully sinned against the Lord. Yet my sins and mistakes are cast away as far as the east is from the west. And although I am a brand new man in a foreign land, I feel like the fire is lost and I am lost in the land of my enemies. And my greatest enemy is me.
Will you move me like you used to Lord? I want to burn brightly for you once again, but it is something that you have to do in me. I cannot do this in and of myself. I want to be revived again. I want to experience your new life again. Will you lift me up again and restore me fully?I long to burn brightly for you Jesus. When the smoke clears I want to be a man who is holy and on fire for the right things. I desire passion for your name once again and at the moment I simply do not have it.
I wake up in apathy as the ghosts of my past haunt me. It’s as if I had a grip on reality at one point in time but the deceitfulness of sin has caused a delusion of reality and instead of confidence in you Jesus, fear grips me as it seems that you are slipping away from my grip. Oh how grateful I am that I will never slip from your hands. Will darkness ever leave me? Will I see the sun climb high into the heavens anytime soon? I want to say that I am a broken man, but apathy has consumed me to the point where I feel nothing. And I know that only you alone can renew my soul again. I need revival. No one else can help me Jesus, there is no substitute for what you can do in my life. I want to get up out of my slumber and run for you like there is no tomorrow. I want to run the race, not fade away into nothingness. I would rather burn for you than to have my flickering flame go out.
So back to my original thought; I am a brand new man in Christ who has been changed on the inside. This change ought to fan the flame of my passion towards you Lord. So I am praying that you would give me a new desire to pursue you like never before. I desire to have the energy to pursue the things of God like never before. I don’t want to live out the old mans will anymore, for I have a new destiny. Please lead me into the way of everlasting. I can’t do this by myself so I am calling upon you Jesus to help me.
Bill
