How do I love more and more? How do I walk properly towards those who are outside and are not believers? How do I become more passionate towards Jesus yet stay balanced at the same time? How do I cause others to become passionate for Jesus as well? I have no idea.
Oh God of peace, please sanctify me completely so that I am blameless when you return. Give me wisdom and insight into Your wonderful word. Please help me to understand Your word and help me to engage others so that they may see You in the Word. Oh Faithful Father, Your gospel is good. It is powerful and liberating. Your Holy Spirit brings so much joy and I praise You Holy Father.
How I wait for Your Son from heaven. I long to see the face of Jesus my God. How long Lord? How much longer before You return for Your people the Jews and the Gentiles? Help me to be a man who labors night and day for the things of Your kingdom. Help me to walk worthy of Your calling God. Help me to receive Your word that comes forth from Your mouth. Oh Jesus, make me to abound in grace and love. Oh help me not to engage my heart in ungodly passion but passion that is controlled by the Spirit. I long to see Your face Jesus. I want to hear You laugh and to see Your smile. I want to feel Your hug and to hear Your heart beat as I lay my head upon Your chest. I want to know You Jesus. I want to really know You in ways that I have yet to know You.
Oh help me to look for Your return in a practical way. Help me to keep my eyes looking up into the sky as I look for You to return for Your people, for Your bride. I long for Your salvation Jesus! I long to be glorified and without sin. I want to be with You. I want to be where You are. I want to be in Your midst and saturated by Your presence. Lord, how can I glorify Your name in my life? Please show me and personally teach me.
Lord, will You please lead my life? I want to be found where You are and led by Your Spirit. Please baptize me in the Holy Spirit and consume my life in Yours. I want so badly for You Jesus to by my inheritance. I need You so desperately in my life. I want to hear Your voice and to behold Your glory. Come Lord Jesus, come back to earth and come for Your people. Deliver us from the wickedness of this world.
Bill
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Journal 2/26/08
Lord God,
You have had your hand directly and indirectly involved in the lives of men and women throughout history. Your hand of protection has preserved the children of Israel to this day. Thank you. I desire to be a clean vessel dad, but I can’t clean myself. Please wash me and use me in the course of your historical plan. I desire to do as you have created me to do. I long to fulfill my destiny Jesus. What is my destiny?
You see all things and know that I am in desperate need of your grace. I hunger for you Jesus. I cannot settle for anything less that personal contact with you. I must have you lest I die Jesus. Please have favor upon me. Please bless the work of my hands and cleanse me from the inside out.
Do I love You Jesus? Do I love the Father? Do I love the Helper, the Spirit of Truth who testifies of You? I long to be intimate with my God. I want to know the depths and height, length and width of Your glory and of You. I desire that our heart beats be so entwined that they beat the same beat.
Oh declare to me Your wonders. Declare to me Your ways. Please return for me and fill me with your Holy Spirit. Please baptize me in Your Holy Spirit. Come upon me, be with me and in me. Take my life Jesus and make my life Yours. I need you so desperately in my life. Oh please share the Father with me plainly.
When will the hour come of Your 2nd Coming? You finished the work of the Father and I want to follow in Your foot steps in that I desire to finish the work that You have laid out before me. I want to have an eternal perspective in everything that I do Jesus. Please take this life of mine and make it Yours. Keep me in your love, I have no faith in me. All my faith is in You alone.
Send me into the world Lord and empower me to be a vessel of honor; an ambassador of the Kingdom to come in which You will reign. You are my righteous Father and I desire to declare Your name to the lost. Please help me to live in a way that heaven is always on my mind, where You are always on my mind.
Your prophetic word is so amazing. I am in awe at the details of what you have said in Your wonderful word. You truly do know the end from the beginning and I am thankful for that. Oh God, have mercy on me, cleanse me from my sin and lead me in the ways of everlasting.
You have had your hand directly and indirectly involved in the lives of men and women throughout history. Your hand of protection has preserved the children of Israel to this day. Thank you. I desire to be a clean vessel dad, but I can’t clean myself. Please wash me and use me in the course of your historical plan. I desire to do as you have created me to do. I long to fulfill my destiny Jesus. What is my destiny?
You see all things and know that I am in desperate need of your grace. I hunger for you Jesus. I cannot settle for anything less that personal contact with you. I must have you lest I die Jesus. Please have favor upon me. Please bless the work of my hands and cleanse me from the inside out.
Do I love You Jesus? Do I love the Father? Do I love the Helper, the Spirit of Truth who testifies of You? I long to be intimate with my God. I want to know the depths and height, length and width of Your glory and of You. I desire that our heart beats be so entwined that they beat the same beat.
Oh declare to me Your wonders. Declare to me Your ways. Please return for me and fill me with your Holy Spirit. Please baptize me in Your Holy Spirit. Come upon me, be with me and in me. Take my life Jesus and make my life Yours. I need you so desperately in my life. Oh please share the Father with me plainly.
When will the hour come of Your 2nd Coming? You finished the work of the Father and I want to follow in Your foot steps in that I desire to finish the work that You have laid out before me. I want to have an eternal perspective in everything that I do Jesus. Please take this life of mine and make it Yours. Keep me in your love, I have no faith in me. All my faith is in You alone.
Send me into the world Lord and empower me to be a vessel of honor; an ambassador of the Kingdom to come in which You will reign. You are my righteous Father and I desire to declare Your name to the lost. Please help me to live in a way that heaven is always on my mind, where You are always on my mind.
Your prophetic word is so amazing. I am in awe at the details of what you have said in Your wonderful word. You truly do know the end from the beginning and I am thankful for that. Oh God, have mercy on me, cleanse me from my sin and lead me in the ways of everlasting.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Journal 2-25-08
So today was a milestone for me. I have the bible on mp3 now and I actually listened to the entire book of Genesis today. All 50 chapters. And I didnt stop there, I also listened to 1st and 2nd Corinthians. By doing so I was able to see the heart of God more and the tragedy of man. Death, suffering, deceit, all of that is a byproduct of the fall of man. And it broke my heart today. And o know that God loved me enough to send Jesus on my behalf so that He could have fellowship with me, just blows me away. God is in love with me, with us and I am in awe at that.
So anyways, I know it is a random thought, but sometimes my thoughts are all over the place.
Bill
So anyways, I know it is a random thought, but sometimes my thoughts are all over the place.
Bill
Sunday, February 24, 2008
How it all started.
This is the story of events that led me to the day when I came face to face with God's everlasting love.
I was 17 years old, and my cousin asked me if I would like to go to camp for a week. I said sure, but how much is it? He told me that it was about $250.00. I told him, that I didn't have that kind of money. So he offered to pay for me. But as the time grew closer to going, I didn't want to go. I tried what any other 17-year-old person would do, I tried to convince my brother to go. My mom told me that I had to go, because my cousin had already paid my way. I don't remember much about the week at camp, but I do remember one night. I remember it very well.
It was Wednesday, August 20th, 1991. We had church that night just like every other night. But this time the service was about the end times. It started out with music. The worship team played a song called "Billy waited to long". It was about a guy named Billy who rejected God & died, he waited to long. Well, the fact that my name is Billy, lets just say that it got my attention.
The speaker then spoke about the end times. He would read from the bible & then read the fulfillment of the prophecy from newspapers, from Time magazine. As he was sharing, a bat flew into the building. The speaker stopped & said that this was Satan trying to distract us, then he led us in prayer. My cousin said that last year the power went out & they had to wait in the dark for a few minutes before the generators turned on. After his prayer, the speaker said, "If you are a believer, then I want you to leave the building quietly. If you would like to ask Jesus to be your Lord & Savior, then stay where you are. If you want to rededicate your life to Him, then you stay too." (That was totally the Lord, because I would have never gone forward).
Everyone left, except for the counselors & those who wanted to be saved, including myself. The counselor told me that we needed to pray. I said, cool. He asked me if I wated to go first, to which I told him that I did not want to pray out loud, I didn't know how to pray & I didn't want to make a fool of myself. He said that he would lead me in a prayer & I should follow him in it, I figured I could handle that. When we finished I went back to the cabin. Mind you, the whole week, someone was always in there. But this night it was empty.
I climbed on the top bunk bed and started asking God, Why would you want me? I cuss, I party, I sleep with my girlfriend & I smoke, why would you want me?
I had my cousin’s bible (he had given it to me); it was all marked up & had papers in it. I also asked the Lord, "Please don’t let anyone come in here & see me when I'm emotional." As I was getting back on my bed (had to use the bathroom), I asked God again, "Why would you want me?" Just then a paper fell out of the bible. It read, " I love you very, very, very, very, very much", that was it for me, I was crying & I told God, "I believe you. I give you my life".
And that’s how I met Jesus. Do you know what is cool? God answered my little prayer, and no one came into the cabin.
So now, when people ask me how did I find God? I tell them, I didn't. I tell them that God was never lost, I was.
He found me.
I was 17 years old, and my cousin asked me if I would like to go to camp for a week. I said sure, but how much is it? He told me that it was about $250.00. I told him, that I didn't have that kind of money. So he offered to pay for me. But as the time grew closer to going, I didn't want to go. I tried what any other 17-year-old person would do, I tried to convince my brother to go. My mom told me that I had to go, because my cousin had already paid my way. I don't remember much about the week at camp, but I do remember one night. I remember it very well.
It was Wednesday, August 20th, 1991. We had church that night just like every other night. But this time the service was about the end times. It started out with music. The worship team played a song called "Billy waited to long". It was about a guy named Billy who rejected God & died, he waited to long. Well, the fact that my name is Billy, lets just say that it got my attention.
The speaker then spoke about the end times. He would read from the bible & then read the fulfillment of the prophecy from newspapers, from Time magazine. As he was sharing, a bat flew into the building. The speaker stopped & said that this was Satan trying to distract us, then he led us in prayer. My cousin said that last year the power went out & they had to wait in the dark for a few minutes before the generators turned on. After his prayer, the speaker said, "If you are a believer, then I want you to leave the building quietly. If you would like to ask Jesus to be your Lord & Savior, then stay where you are. If you want to rededicate your life to Him, then you stay too." (That was totally the Lord, because I would have never gone forward).
Everyone left, except for the counselors & those who wanted to be saved, including myself. The counselor told me that we needed to pray. I said, cool. He asked me if I wated to go first, to which I told him that I did not want to pray out loud, I didn't know how to pray & I didn't want to make a fool of myself. He said that he would lead me in a prayer & I should follow him in it, I figured I could handle that. When we finished I went back to the cabin. Mind you, the whole week, someone was always in there. But this night it was empty.
I climbed on the top bunk bed and started asking God, Why would you want me? I cuss, I party, I sleep with my girlfriend & I smoke, why would you want me?
I had my cousin’s bible (he had given it to me); it was all marked up & had papers in it. I also asked the Lord, "Please don’t let anyone come in here & see me when I'm emotional." As I was getting back on my bed (had to use the bathroom), I asked God again, "Why would you want me?" Just then a paper fell out of the bible. It read, " I love you very, very, very, very, very much", that was it for me, I was crying & I told God, "I believe you. I give you my life".
And that’s how I met Jesus. Do you know what is cool? God answered my little prayer, and no one came into the cabin.
So now, when people ask me how did I find God? I tell them, I didn't. I tell them that God was never lost, I was.
He found me.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Journal 2/21/08
Sometimes it really is a battle to live out your convictions. I long to be a man who lives according to the Word of God. It is weird because I really desire to be a man of passion and in a sense I am. Yet at the same time I really struggle with being a slave to my passions and there is a real battle there for me. I love passion when it is not tainted by the sin nature, but those times when it is; I really struggle to make good decisions based upon my conviction as my passion in those moments are stronger and more compelling than my convictions.
How do I balance this? I want to be passionate but not at the cost of compromise. Oh Jesus, my eyes are lifted up to you in hope that you will be able to deliver me from this body of death. Please baptize me in the Holy Spirit and consume my every thought and action. I am calling out to you by faith and simply ask you to help me engage my heart in things that would bring you the most glory.
Bill
How do I balance this? I want to be passionate but not at the cost of compromise. Oh Jesus, my eyes are lifted up to you in hope that you will be able to deliver me from this body of death. Please baptize me in the Holy Spirit and consume my every thought and action. I am calling out to you by faith and simply ask you to help me engage my heart in things that would bring you the most glory.
Bill
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Journal 2/19/08
My memories haunt me. I wonder what my thoughts would be if I knew that I was going to die today. What would I regret? What would I change? What would I desire to do over again? I know that I will have so many tears of regret on that day; yet I find that in my experience it is so difficult to live out my life in a way that keeps an eternal perspective.
When the day finally does arrive and I leave this world; no one is going to do it with me. What I mean is that when I die, I will die alone and therefore I must be prepared to stand before the Lord alone. And that doesn’t scare me as much as it shames me. What I mean is that I am not afraid to stand before the Lord as I know that he loves me and that he has forgiven my sins. What I fear is the shame that I will feel and experience when all the things that I have done are exposed and laid out before the Lord. I am a wretched man in need of mercy, grace and forgiveness. Oh, soul, why is it that you take pleasure in wickedness?
I know where I have been and I know that when I finally get to see Jesus face to face, when I finally get to see the scars in his hands and feet, I will be so embarrassed and shamed from all the things that my wicked heart embraced. I really am a wretch and hate it when I do not choose to do what I know is right.
Jesus, please cleanse me from my past, present and future. Please help me to walk in your ways 100% of the time. Please clean me Jesus as I am unable to so myself.
Love,
Bill
When the day finally does arrive and I leave this world; no one is going to do it with me. What I mean is that when I die, I will die alone and therefore I must be prepared to stand before the Lord alone. And that doesn’t scare me as much as it shames me. What I mean is that I am not afraid to stand before the Lord as I know that he loves me and that he has forgiven my sins. What I fear is the shame that I will feel and experience when all the things that I have done are exposed and laid out before the Lord. I am a wretched man in need of mercy, grace and forgiveness. Oh, soul, why is it that you take pleasure in wickedness?
I know where I have been and I know that when I finally get to see Jesus face to face, when I finally get to see the scars in his hands and feet, I will be so embarrassed and shamed from all the things that my wicked heart embraced. I really am a wretch and hate it when I do not choose to do what I know is right.
Jesus, please cleanse me from my past, present and future. Please help me to walk in your ways 100% of the time. Please clean me Jesus as I am unable to so myself.
Love,
Bill
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Interesting Study - Chuck Missler
Q & A: Where did you find the meanings of the names in Genesis 5?
The background behind the genealogy in Genesis 5 is one of our most frequently asked questions.
Since the ten Hebrew names are proper names, they are not translated but only transliterated to approximate the way they were pronounced. The meaning of proper names can be a difficult pursuit since direct translations are not readily available. Many study aids, such as conventional lexicons, can prove superficial when dealing with proper names. Even a conventional Hebrew lexicon can prove disappointing. A study of the original roots, however, can yield some fascinating insights. (It should be recognized, however, that the views concerning the meaning and significance of the original roots are not free of controversy and are subject to variant readings. This is why we receive so many questions or comments on variations.)
Adam
The first name, Adam, comes from adomah, and means "man." As the first man, that seems straightforward enough.
Seth
Adam's son was named Seth, which means "appointed." When he was born Eve said, "For God hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew."
Enosh
Seth's son was called Enosh, which means "mortal," "frail," or "miserable." It is from the root anash: to be incurable; used of a wound, grief, woe, sickness, or wickedness. (It was in the days of Enosh that men began to defile the name of the Living God.1 )
Kenan
Enosh's son was named Kenan, from which can mean "sorrow," dirge," or "elegy." (The precise denotation is somewhat elusive; some study aids unfortunately presume an Aramaic root synonymous with "Cainan.") Balaam, looking down from the heights of Moab, employed a pun upon the name of the Kenites when he prophesied their destruction.2
Mahalalel
Kenan's son was Mahalalel, from mahalal, which means "blessed" or "praise"; and El, the name for God. Thus, Mahalalel means "the Blessed God." Often Hebrew names included El, the name of God, as Dani-el, "God is my Judge," Nathani-el, "Gift of God," etc.
Jared
Mahalalel's son was named Jared, from the verb yaradh, meaning "shall come down." Some authorities suggest that this might have been an allusion to the "Sons of God" who "came down" to corrupt the daughters of men, resulting in the Nephilim ("Fallen Ones") of Genesis 6.3
Enoch
Jared's son was named Enoch, which means "teaching," or "commencement." He was the first of four generations of preachers. In fact, the earliest recorded prophecy was by Enoch, which amazingly enough deals with the Second Coming of Christ.4
Methuselah
The Flood of Noah did not come as a surprise. It had been preached on for four generations. But something strange happened when Enoch was 65, from which time "he walked with God." Enoch was given a prophecy that as long as his son was alive, the judgment of the flood would be withheld; but as soon as he died, the flood would be sent forth.
Enoch named his son to reflect this prophecy. The name Methuselah comes from two roots: muth, a root that means "death"5 ; and from shalach, which means "to bring," or "to send forth." Thus, the name Methuselah signifies, "his death shall bring."6
And, indeed, in the year that Methuselah died, the flood came. Methuselah was 187 when he had Lamech, and lived 782 years more. Lamech had Noah when he was 182.7 The Flood came in Noah's 600th year.8 187 + 182 + 600 = 969, Methuselah's age when he died.9
It is interesting that Methuselah's life was, in effect, a symbol of God's mercy in forestalling the coming judgment of the flood. It is therefore fitting that his lifetime is the oldest in the Bible, symbolizing the extreme extensiveness of God's mercy.
Lamech
Methuselah's son was named Lamech, a root still evident today in our own English word, "lament" or "lamentation." Lamech suggests "despairing." (This name is also linked to the Lamech in Cain's line who inadvertently killed his son Tubal-Cain in a hunting incident. 10 )
Noah
Lamech, of course, is the father of Noah, which is derived from nacham , "to bring relief" or "comfort," as Lamech himself explains. 11
The Composite List
Hebrew
Adam - Man
Seth - Appointed
Enosh - Mortal
Kenan - Sorrow
Mahalalel - The Blessed God
Jared - Shall come down
Enoch - Teaching
Methuselah - His death shall bring
Lamech - The despairing
Noah - Rest, or comfort
Here are the meaning of the names in plain English:
Man apponted mortal sorrow, The blessed God shall come down teaching his death shall bring the desparing comfort.
Here is a summary of God's plan of redemption, hidden here within a genealogy in Genesis! You will never convince me that a group of Jewish rabbis deliberately "contrived" to hide the "Christian Gospel" right here in a genealogy within their venerated Torah!
Evidences of Design
The implications of this discovery are far more deeply significant than may be evident at first glance. It demonstrates that in the earliest chapters of the Book of Genesis, God had already laid out His plan of redemption for the predicament of mankind. It is the beginning of a love story, ultimately written in blood on a wooden cross which was erected in Judea almost 2,000 years ago.
This is also one of many evidences that the Bible is an integrated message system, the product of supernatural engineering. This punctures the presumptions of many who view the Bible as a record of an evolving cultural tradition, noble though it may be. It claims to be authored by the One who alone knows the end from the beginning,12 despite the fact that it is composed of 66 separate books, penned by some 40 authors, spanning several thousand years.13
The background behind the genealogy in Genesis 5 is one of our most frequently asked questions.
Since the ten Hebrew names are proper names, they are not translated but only transliterated to approximate the way they were pronounced. The meaning of proper names can be a difficult pursuit since direct translations are not readily available. Many study aids, such as conventional lexicons, can prove superficial when dealing with proper names. Even a conventional Hebrew lexicon can prove disappointing. A study of the original roots, however, can yield some fascinating insights. (It should be recognized, however, that the views concerning the meaning and significance of the original roots are not free of controversy and are subject to variant readings. This is why we receive so many questions or comments on variations.)
Adam
The first name, Adam, comes from adomah, and means "man." As the first man, that seems straightforward enough.
Seth
Adam's son was named Seth, which means "appointed." When he was born Eve said, "For God hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew."
Enosh
Seth's son was called Enosh, which means "mortal," "frail," or "miserable." It is from the root anash: to be incurable; used of a wound, grief, woe, sickness, or wickedness. (It was in the days of Enosh that men began to defile the name of the Living God.1 )
Kenan
Enosh's son was named Kenan, from which can mean "sorrow," dirge," or "elegy." (The precise denotation is somewhat elusive; some study aids unfortunately presume an Aramaic root synonymous with "Cainan.") Balaam, looking down from the heights of Moab, employed a pun upon the name of the Kenites when he prophesied their destruction.2
Mahalalel
Kenan's son was Mahalalel, from mahalal, which means "blessed" or "praise"; and El, the name for God. Thus, Mahalalel means "the Blessed God." Often Hebrew names included El, the name of God, as Dani-el, "God is my Judge," Nathani-el, "Gift of God," etc.
Jared
Mahalalel's son was named Jared, from the verb yaradh, meaning "shall come down." Some authorities suggest that this might have been an allusion to the "Sons of God" who "came down" to corrupt the daughters of men, resulting in the Nephilim ("Fallen Ones") of Genesis 6.3
Enoch
Jared's son was named Enoch, which means "teaching," or "commencement." He was the first of four generations of preachers. In fact, the earliest recorded prophecy was by Enoch, which amazingly enough deals with the Second Coming of Christ.4
Methuselah
The Flood of Noah did not come as a surprise. It had been preached on for four generations. But something strange happened when Enoch was 65, from which time "he walked with God." Enoch was given a prophecy that as long as his son was alive, the judgment of the flood would be withheld; but as soon as he died, the flood would be sent forth.
Enoch named his son to reflect this prophecy. The name Methuselah comes from two roots: muth, a root that means "death"5 ; and from shalach, which means "to bring," or "to send forth." Thus, the name Methuselah signifies, "his death shall bring."6
And, indeed, in the year that Methuselah died, the flood came. Methuselah was 187 when he had Lamech, and lived 782 years more. Lamech had Noah when he was 182.7 The Flood came in Noah's 600th year.8 187 + 182 + 600 = 969, Methuselah's age when he died.9
It is interesting that Methuselah's life was, in effect, a symbol of God's mercy in forestalling the coming judgment of the flood. It is therefore fitting that his lifetime is the oldest in the Bible, symbolizing the extreme extensiveness of God's mercy.
Lamech
Methuselah's son was named Lamech, a root still evident today in our own English word, "lament" or "lamentation." Lamech suggests "despairing." (This name is also linked to the Lamech in Cain's line who inadvertently killed his son Tubal-Cain in a hunting incident. 10 )
Noah
Lamech, of course, is the father of Noah, which is derived from nacham , "to bring relief" or "comfort," as Lamech himself explains. 11
The Composite List
Hebrew
Adam - Man
Seth - Appointed
Enosh - Mortal
Kenan - Sorrow
Mahalalel - The Blessed God
Jared - Shall come down
Enoch - Teaching
Methuselah - His death shall bring
Lamech - The despairing
Noah - Rest, or comfort
Here are the meaning of the names in plain English:
Man apponted mortal sorrow, The blessed God shall come down teaching his death shall bring the desparing comfort.
Here is a summary of God's plan of redemption, hidden here within a genealogy in Genesis! You will never convince me that a group of Jewish rabbis deliberately "contrived" to hide the "Christian Gospel" right here in a genealogy within their venerated Torah!
Evidences of Design
The implications of this discovery are far more deeply significant than may be evident at first glance. It demonstrates that in the earliest chapters of the Book of Genesis, God had already laid out His plan of redemption for the predicament of mankind. It is the beginning of a love story, ultimately written in blood on a wooden cross which was erected in Judea almost 2,000 years ago.
This is also one of many evidences that the Bible is an integrated message system, the product of supernatural engineering. This punctures the presumptions of many who view the Bible as a record of an evolving cultural tradition, noble though it may be. It claims to be authored by the One who alone knows the end from the beginning,12 despite the fact that it is composed of 66 separate books, penned by some 40 authors, spanning several thousand years.13
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