Father,
My heart is so hardened and numb to sin. I tend to drink it up and I hate the fact that I do so. Please teach me to number my days Lord. If I but would number my days I would have more incentive in my mind to do what I know is right and to not continue indulging in the flesh. I hate indulging in the flesh. I hate the fact that I love sin. I wish I had your heart towards sin. I wish I were appalled by it as I know I ought to be. Yet time and time again I drink it like water. And when I come to my senses I see how deceived I have been. I need your help Jesus as I live day by day and moment by moment in surrendering myself to you.
At least that is what I need to do. I need to live every moment in utter surrender. The English language is an interesting language. The word obedience has nine letters in it. If I truly want to surrender my life to Jesus then I need to place my self right in the center of obedience with the Lord. If you take the word obedience and use the center of the word obe-DIE-nce, then that is what I have to do. I have to die. In order to surrender fully to the Lord I need to die. I need to crucify my flesh and feed the Spirit that is in me.
Jesus, help me to surrender my will, my heart, my desires to you fully. Help me to die so that you might live in me. I am so frustrated with who I am apart from you. I am an utter disaster and mess.
Yet you love me and because of the work that you did when you placed yourself on the cross to take the wrath of God and the sin of man, I am able to come to you and to be cleansed. Please clean me Jesus in a practical way. Please help me to walk consistently in the ways of righteousness. Help my day to day life match my positional life in you. You have declared me clean; please help my actions to declare that louder than it has.
I worship you Jesus because you are worthy to be exalted. Thank you for loving a wretch like me.
To run and work the law commands
Yet gives me neither feet nor hands
But better news the gospel brings
It bids me fly and gives me wings!
