The love of her life is drifting into darkness;
He is losing his mind as he is lost in distress
The love she has known is falling to pieces;
As he loses his hope and he weeps in his head
A child’s hearts sobs as he walks through the day;
His soul cries out loudly with his heart on display
You try to make sense of it as he’s desperate for hope;
You are straining for words to help this man cope
Darkness is consuming; his eyes lost in a deep stare
He withers away with his mind lost in despair
Hope fades away as the day turns to night;
This man starts to sob as things just are not right
And words are not easy; you don’t know what to say;
He falls deeper in darkness and into dismay
The pain is unbearable its too much to bear
Yet you don’t need the answers, just lift him up in prayer
Take this man to Jesus; to the cross where Christ died
For his burden is easy, and he will stay by this mans side
As he starts to stumble; just reach out your hand
And take him to Jesus; where God will help this man stand.
Written by Bill Scott, Sr
Monday, July 16, 2007
Journal 7/16/07
The scriptures declare that I am a new man in Christ that the old things have passed away and all things become new. But somewhere on this journey of life I have lost sight of that and it feels as if all the new things have gotten old. I hate feeling this way. I desire so desperately to have the joy of God’s salvation alive in me once again.
I have made so many mistakes in my life. And when it comes to sin, lets just say that I can’t even begin to number how many times I have willfully sinned against the Lord. Yet my sins and mistakes are cast away as far as the east is from the west. And although I am a brand new man in a foreign land, I feel like the fire is lost and I am lost in the land of my enemies. And my greatest enemy is me.
Will you move me like you used to Lord? I want to burn brightly for you once again, but it is something that you have to do in me. I cannot do this in and of myself. I want to be revived again. I want to experience your new life again. Will you lift me up again and restore me fully?I long to burn brightly for you Jesus. When the smoke clears I want to be a man who is holy and on fire for the right things. I desire passion for your name once again and at the moment I simply do not have it.
I wake up in apathy as the ghosts of my past haunt me. It’s as if I had a grip on reality at one point in time but the deceitfulness of sin has caused a delusion of reality and instead of confidence in you Jesus, fear grips me as it seems that you are slipping away from my grip. Oh how grateful I am that I will never slip from your hands. Will darkness ever leave me? Will I see the sun climb high into the heavens anytime soon? I want to say that I am a broken man, but apathy has consumed me to the point where I feel nothing. And I know that only you alone can renew my soul again. I need revival. No one else can help me Jesus, there is no substitute for what you can do in my life. I want to get up out of my slumber and run for you like there is no tomorrow. I want to run the race, not fade away into nothingness. I would rather burn for you than to have my flickering flame go out.
So back to my original thought; I am a brand new man in Christ who has been changed on the inside. This change ought to fan the flame of my passion towards you Lord. So I am praying that you would give me a new desire to pursue you like never before. I desire to have the energy to pursue the things of God like never before. I don’t want to live out the old mans will anymore, for I have a new destiny. Please lead me into the way of everlasting. I can’t do this by myself so I am calling upon you Jesus to help me.
Bill
I have made so many mistakes in my life. And when it comes to sin, lets just say that I can’t even begin to number how many times I have willfully sinned against the Lord. Yet my sins and mistakes are cast away as far as the east is from the west. And although I am a brand new man in a foreign land, I feel like the fire is lost and I am lost in the land of my enemies. And my greatest enemy is me.
Will you move me like you used to Lord? I want to burn brightly for you once again, but it is something that you have to do in me. I cannot do this in and of myself. I want to be revived again. I want to experience your new life again. Will you lift me up again and restore me fully?I long to burn brightly for you Jesus. When the smoke clears I want to be a man who is holy and on fire for the right things. I desire passion for your name once again and at the moment I simply do not have it.
I wake up in apathy as the ghosts of my past haunt me. It’s as if I had a grip on reality at one point in time but the deceitfulness of sin has caused a delusion of reality and instead of confidence in you Jesus, fear grips me as it seems that you are slipping away from my grip. Oh how grateful I am that I will never slip from your hands. Will darkness ever leave me? Will I see the sun climb high into the heavens anytime soon? I want to say that I am a broken man, but apathy has consumed me to the point where I feel nothing. And I know that only you alone can renew my soul again. I need revival. No one else can help me Jesus, there is no substitute for what you can do in my life. I want to get up out of my slumber and run for you like there is no tomorrow. I want to run the race, not fade away into nothingness. I would rather burn for you than to have my flickering flame go out.
So back to my original thought; I am a brand new man in Christ who has been changed on the inside. This change ought to fan the flame of my passion towards you Lord. So I am praying that you would give me a new desire to pursue you like never before. I desire to have the energy to pursue the things of God like never before. I don’t want to live out the old mans will anymore, for I have a new destiny. Please lead me into the way of everlasting. I can’t do this by myself so I am calling upon you Jesus to help me.
Bill
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Journal 7/12/07 - more thoughts
Father,
It seems like I fail you a million times a day on a good day; yet your mercy remains steadfast towards me. Should I fail again only to cause you more shame? Of course not, so then why do I? Do I really desire your will above all else? Somewhere lost in my head I again would say yes I do desire your will above all else, but my actions say otherwise. And my actions scream that my will is what I am after and not yours. Who am I fooling anyways? I am not fooling you Jesus; that is for sure. I hate the power that my flesh has over me. I hate that fact that I listen to my flesh and obey it without question or hesitation. I obey my flesh of my own free will and I choose to obey it instead of you. I HATE IT!!!!
I wish I would be lost and consumed in worshipping you. I wish I would be lost in praising your name. I don’t know what it is, pride maybe? But whatever it is the stench of my flesh hinders me. I am hindered in totally abandoning myself in your presence. I desire to give you control of my heart, my soul, my being. I want to embrace your righteousness and love you from the depths of my being. Why wont I wrestle my flesh to the ground? Consume me Jesus! Consume my every fiber. Take me and make me one with you. Please God, do a work in my hard heart of calloused stone.
Lord of Glory, you are eternal and your light shines ever so brightly. Your light exposes my sin and shame yet it also restores and cleanses me in the depths of my heart. I want to be clean permanently. I know that I am clean postionally in your sight, but I want to experience cleanliness practically. I want to be right where you are at all times. I long for heaven yet I fear I make my bed in hell.
Please forgive me Jesus for grieving your Spirit. Please forgive me for hindering the work of the spirit. Please have mercy on me and help me to walk in repentance all the days of my life. Please hold me Jesus and never let me go. I am so grateful that salvation is a work of grace because if it were not I would be doomed to hell forever. I am so grateful that your word declares that you will never ever forsake me. You will never ever leave me. Oh how I cling to those words. Thank you Lord.
You are so holy Lord God Almighty. You are what I long for when deception has finally fled my eyes and I see reality. My life is a mess and is utterly meaningless without your daily presence. I am a mess. I miss seeing you work in my life and I miss seeing you move among your people. I miss the days of old where I saw and experienced you so clearly and intimately. I miss talking to people who are totally consumed with you and only talk about your goodness; nothing else. I miss being around a people who were consumed by your spirit. I miss being consumed by your spirit. I miss you Jesus. I miss the passion that I had and I want to recapture it and remain in that special place where we are together. So please help me to get there and stay there. Help me to do the former things that helped me to walk closely to you.
Life is full of distractions. Help me to make every sing distraction and attraction to you.
Bill
It seems like I fail you a million times a day on a good day; yet your mercy remains steadfast towards me. Should I fail again only to cause you more shame? Of course not, so then why do I? Do I really desire your will above all else? Somewhere lost in my head I again would say yes I do desire your will above all else, but my actions say otherwise. And my actions scream that my will is what I am after and not yours. Who am I fooling anyways? I am not fooling you Jesus; that is for sure. I hate the power that my flesh has over me. I hate that fact that I listen to my flesh and obey it without question or hesitation. I obey my flesh of my own free will and I choose to obey it instead of you. I HATE IT!!!!
I wish I would be lost and consumed in worshipping you. I wish I would be lost in praising your name. I don’t know what it is, pride maybe? But whatever it is the stench of my flesh hinders me. I am hindered in totally abandoning myself in your presence. I desire to give you control of my heart, my soul, my being. I want to embrace your righteousness and love you from the depths of my being. Why wont I wrestle my flesh to the ground? Consume me Jesus! Consume my every fiber. Take me and make me one with you. Please God, do a work in my hard heart of calloused stone.
Lord of Glory, you are eternal and your light shines ever so brightly. Your light exposes my sin and shame yet it also restores and cleanses me in the depths of my heart. I want to be clean permanently. I know that I am clean postionally in your sight, but I want to experience cleanliness practically. I want to be right where you are at all times. I long for heaven yet I fear I make my bed in hell.
Please forgive me Jesus for grieving your Spirit. Please forgive me for hindering the work of the spirit. Please have mercy on me and help me to walk in repentance all the days of my life. Please hold me Jesus and never let me go. I am so grateful that salvation is a work of grace because if it were not I would be doomed to hell forever. I am so grateful that your word declares that you will never ever forsake me. You will never ever leave me. Oh how I cling to those words. Thank you Lord.
You are so holy Lord God Almighty. You are what I long for when deception has finally fled my eyes and I see reality. My life is a mess and is utterly meaningless without your daily presence. I am a mess. I miss seeing you work in my life and I miss seeing you move among your people. I miss the days of old where I saw and experienced you so clearly and intimately. I miss talking to people who are totally consumed with you and only talk about your goodness; nothing else. I miss being around a people who were consumed by your spirit. I miss being consumed by your spirit. I miss you Jesus. I miss the passion that I had and I want to recapture it and remain in that special place where we are together. So please help me to get there and stay there. Help me to do the former things that helped me to walk closely to you.
Life is full of distractions. Help me to make every sing distraction and attraction to you.
Bill
Journal 7/12/07
Father,
Good morning, how are you doing today? Is there anything that you desire to share with me as I begin my day? Is there something that I should be prepared for? Do I need to learn something new today? I am here and I am ready to hear from you Jesus.
I wish I could live out John 15 in my day to day life. I want to abide in Christ. I want to dwell in that place where you are Lord and I want to stay there. I am a sheep that tends to go in every direction but the right direction. So I am purposing in my heart to give you this moment in time Lord. I can't promise that you will have the next moment. I would love to give you every moment, but I know me. So I am giving you this moment right here, right now. Please have your way with me in this moment.
Love,
Bill
Good morning, how are you doing today? Is there anything that you desire to share with me as I begin my day? Is there something that I should be prepared for? Do I need to learn something new today? I am here and I am ready to hear from you Jesus.
I wish I could live out John 15 in my day to day life. I want to abide in Christ. I want to dwell in that place where you are Lord and I want to stay there. I am a sheep that tends to go in every direction but the right direction. So I am purposing in my heart to give you this moment in time Lord. I can't promise that you will have the next moment. I would love to give you every moment, but I know me. So I am giving you this moment right here, right now. Please have your way with me in this moment.
Love,
Bill
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
today's thoughts
Life is truely harsh and I hate my flesh. I can't wait until I am delivered from this body of death.
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