So the holidays are upon us yet again. Wow it comes and goes so fast. I mean I just blinked and now I have been married for five years and I have three kids (Well, I have four kids…but three are with my wife. I have a 13 year old from when I was a teenager who lives out of the state). Where does the time go? I still feel like I am sixteen and my twenty-twelve birthday is fast approaching. Where is all the time going?
I have been thinking about this lately. November 16th was the anniversary of my dad’s death. He was killed when I was eight months old. He was twenty-four years old when he was shot by a 14 year old boy and hospitalized. He died 6 days after he was shot. He has been dead for thirty-one years. He has been dead longer than he was alive. That amazes me. I have lived a longer life than my father and I am only thirty one years old. And I still feel like a child myself. His life was just a dash (Born – died). He was born and then he died. The dash on his tombstone was all that his life was…..it was here and then it was gone.
So now I have been thinking about my dash….what will I do with the dash of time that I have on this earth? Will I live for myself? Probably! Will I help others? Maybe, but most likely not. Will I live selflessly? Highly unlikely; I will most likely live selfishly. That is if I am left to myself. But I am not.
I now have the Spirit of God living inside of me. I would hope that as the Lord grows me that I would stop looking at myself only and start seeking Him and at some point I would live a noble life where I could bless others even when it hurts me and I have to do it sacrificially. I desire that, yet am nowhere near there. I see that desire upon the horizon of my life and yet it’s so far away from who I am that I feel as if I will never reach that goal. I want to have a life that means something. And every time I live for myself it truly is meaningless.
We don’t have a lot of time. And because man was not created to die; (the wages of sin brought death) we live as if we will never die and that is because we have eternity in our hearts. And because we have eternity in our hearts we think we have more time than we really do. And in a moment it is over. We are dead and that is it. And when I stand before the Lord as everyone will one day; I can only pray that something was done in my life that mattered. As I stand before the One who fashioned me and molded all the good qualities in my life (If there are any….lol) I can only pray that I used these things in my life; these qualities that the Lord has given to me in a way that ministered to Him. Eternity is a very long time. And because my life is just a dash; I would hope that I would spend whatever time I have left in a way that would bless others and bless the Lord. I would hope that I would start doing what I know is right and would quit playing on the fence of inconsistency. I pray that the Lord would stabilize my life and cause me to life in a way that is solid. Time will tell…..that is, whatever time I have left.
