Monday, August 22, 2005

What a mess!

My poor wife. She is going through such a difficult season. She is depressed and sad and tired. She is burned out with the kids and with life. How I wish I could take away her burden. How I wish that I could play God for a few minutes and ease her pain. How I wish that I had the ability to make her happy. But I can't. All I know is that the Lord Himself is the sustainer of life. All I know is that God said, “Blessed (Happy) is the man who trusts in the Lord."
My wife, please trust in the Lord. He has given us all the desires of our hearts so far. We got married. We have three wonderful kids. We live in a beautiful state. We have friends and family visit us all the time. We own a home. We are healthy for the most part (apart from the colds). And though I can and have and will continue to fail you, the Lord NEVER will.
My wife, you are my best friend. I love you will all that I am. And even though my love will fail at times, God loves you in a way that is beyond our capacity to grasp. God loves you because he loves you. The Lord is not ashamed to call you his own. You are His beloved and his bride. Cling to Jesus. Cling to the hope that we have in Him. Cling to the hope that our future will be bright. Our emotions will not always go against us. One day we will see Him for who he really is. The blindness will be removed from our eyes and we will see the Lord of Glory in all his holiness. We will see Him and be with him. He is what we need. He is what we long for even when we don't realize it. He is the gold at the end of the rainbow. The Lord, ah the Lord. He is so wonderful and merciful. He is so compassionate and caring. He hurts with us. He loves you Jessica. The Lord loves you. Jesus loves you intensely.
Jessica,
My bride, my friend; my smile and partner in this thing called life. You are such a wonderful mother. You are a great wife. You are a good friend. Your heart cares for so many. My heart is so calloused yet even though I have a hard heart, your heart remains tender and fresh. You hear of stories of people suffering and you suffer with them. You grieve with them. I hear them and I think nothing as I am so hard hearted. I love your tenderness. I love you. Though I don't listen most of the time and I am a joke of a husband, you still pour out unconditional love towards me and I embrace that. I need you. You have such a wonderful spirit and soul. Though you see yourself as flawed, I see you as a person I long to be. I wish I were more like you and less like me. Because you reflect the Lord far more than I do. I love you Jessica. Your smile, your eyes, your character, you...you...you. I love you. You do so much for me and the kids. Thank you.